This is A WORLD OUT OF MIND, my Online Journal where I explore Consciousness and the Ultimate Nature of Reality by the intentional alteration of my own belief structures, using Salvia Divinorum and additional self-altering meditational techniques drawn from Western Ceremonial Magic.

I always attempt to adhere to the scientific method as much as possible in my explorations, and while I often speak of these experiences as if I knew they were Truth, I always consider the alternative, that it is merely self-deception on my part, and think accordingly. Thus I maintain two parallel world views at once, one aspirational and one a safe fallback into standard materialism.

The more I journey into salviaspace, the more I think the former worldview is the correct one, but there is no objective way to prove that to the world, so I'll let you, the reader, decide for yourselves.

-Saint Brian the Godless

Follow me on Twitter @AWorldOutOfMind

Saturday, May 23, 2015

I Am Made Of Information, And So Are You

Meditating in seated position, cross-legged on the bed. 100X as usual.

I feel the room around me and my sleeping wife and dog as all being inside my mind, in my head, not "out there" in any way. Even my head, is all in my mind. I sense many of me, many such rooms, splashes of me all over, dashes of me everywhere. I sense the room around me and my body as being part of the same thing, being one with everything else.

I've been getting this for a while now, all the time. Last night was the most clear, easiest to recall.

Then a subtle shift. The room, my body, my wife, the dog, all of these things are now seen as they really are, as thoughts, descriptions of themselves. I sense that we are all descriptions, stories if you will. We are all each collections of data, thoughts, and that is all we are. We exist within what can only be described as a *mind* but not like our minds, far vaster, containing all "things" within itself, all such collections of data that describe all things, in a sea of data describing our surroundings. Everything that exists, is thought, is data. I feel myself as words, descriptions, thought, data. Everything is like this, nothing is not like this.

I feel waves and ripples in that sea of thought, waves that move through my room and through my body. I feel the thought that comprises me, my personal collection of data that describes me as different than anything else, my "body" if you will, be penetrated by these waves; they flow through me, and the "stuff" that is me, "waves" and ripples along with them. I feel the substance of my body being not substance at all, nothing like a substance, everything both inside me and out is insubstantial.

It hits me; nothing truly exists as we believe it does. Only mind exists, only being, and within that mind we are collections of data, of thought. Basically, we are the sum of the thoughts that describe us.

My body does not exist, my wife does not exist, the world does not exist, except within our minds, which are within a vaster mind, much like programs in a database of some sort.

This mind we are a part of has always existed, it is the default setting of all reality, the most basic level of existence. Since it has always been, there was no single point where creation started.

So what is it about me, about this collection of data, that feels like a person, that feels like my self?

From what I can sense it is a part of us that is self-descriptive and self-referential both. I describe myself to myself and believe it, then I constantly reinforce my reality to myself in an unending descending spiral of self-affirmation and belief.

For some reason, belief is very important to existence. I often sense myself battling in deep meditation with my own ability to believe, adjusting it 'just so' much like one would adjust a radio dial. Too much belief, image is lost; just enough and you can see the story play out. Belief is more than we think it is. Far more important to existence than we know.

I've had unimaginable battles deep within myself trying to fine-tune my own belief so as to attain understanding of my own mind. Adjusting my belief in whatever it is I'm sensing, a little more here, a little less there, to be able to see it manifest to myself. What I sense about belief is that it underlies all reality, so then it can be said that a disbelief in such things as I seek to understand here, would absolutely prevent us ever even beginning to see it.

What I mean here is, yes, it's absolutely true: A disbeliever in these things can never see these things, but instead will see whatever it is they believe they will see.

A scientist would accuse me of hedging. No. I truly sense that in order to sense what reality actually *is,* one must first believe that whatever it *is,* is at least possible. Why have I seen the infinitely malleable, deceptive, belief-dependent nature of reality? Because I believed it to be possible that reality is like that. Why do I think it might be true? Because unlike all other options, this option explains all others as well as itself. If I tried believing in such a thing and it manifested itself to me as it did, then it also explains all other options, all other possible manifestations of reality, from science to god, for such a reality is infinitely *deceptive* in nature.

It explains Maya, which has so effectively deceived us all.

NOTE: *THIS* has just come to my attention. It relates.


  1. This was a brilliant post, was so glad to read it. I feel like I've been waiting for this post from you. You've expressed everything so clearly.

    You have to be careful though, to see reality a particular way because you believed it to be so can be a deception itself. I think it's essential to be open minded rather than having a belief or disbelief.

    It's a very difficult feat to understand reality as it is, to see it as it is because we hold onto so many judgements, thoughts and ideas about it. It's a very hard task putting away those ideas and admit that we know absolutely nothing about it.

    I've experienced that vast mind, mostly it's like the external internalized. The ego die-off is so apparent that when it does happen with great force I cling on to the sense of self, that sense of self which you say is a collection of data or thoughts.

    1. I very much agree about the 'being careful' part, and even though I have strong feelings on some matters I don't commit to any one explanation. Some insist science has all the answers, some say God, some say reality is math, some say it's something else. Some insist the paranormal exists, some scoff knowingly as if they could be sure it doesn't. I see people with all sorts of 'working models' of reality but they all conflict. Except for one. Except for the one that explains why they all conflict. But again, I do not "settle" on that explanation, I've been doing this too long to really settle for any explanation at this point, lol. Just like to speculate.

  2. Krishnamurti and David Bohm discuss this vast mind which you can read in The Ending of Time.

    1. "If there is no ego, there is no problem, there is no conflict,
      there is no time - time in the sense of becoming or not becoming;
      being or not being"

      This one is really good ^^


  4. A feeling I have:

    As I move forward in time the universe branches and branches and my self also branches along with it, so it follows that whatever percentage of my mind that was anticipating result A at any given branch point moves on into universes wherein result A was realized in some form, whereas the percentage of my mind anticipating result B also moves forward into corresponding universes in which some form of result B was realized, thus we, our very selves, branch and branch as time passes, with no particular version being any the wiser that this process is constantly going on.

  5. Here's a snippet from an experience I had back in December, I refrained from posting it because it was referencing a private conversation with a friend and just left it as a draft.

    "So really I am left to the describable which came along with the understanding. Form can change into anything, in that moment the mind was cleansing so much data but in the process I saw how all the data was put together to create the great magnificent planet called earth and all the ideas of earth behind it. I wasn't thinking of earth, earth was no longer present. In the room I saw the data of the room put together piece by piece, and my here and now was a part of earth."

  6. Many of the top theoretical physicists believe that reality only exists once it is observed.

    I like the idea that the universe is a type of computer. That's why I keep tweaking my blog: I hope that one day the universal computer will recognize it as one the more creative blogs in the hyper-informational-continuum. Ha... (no joke. I actually believe this.)

    Instead of painting platitudes about the wonders of ONE MIND, I think it's more interesting to ponder the benevolent/malevolent outcome once Everyone has access to the ubiquitous underlying information-stream permeating and percolating all around us.

    Lately, people such as Stephan Hawking have voiced concerns about artificial intelligence ('Ex Machina' comes to mind).

    What I'm trying to say is........
    Uh, what I'm really getting at is........

    Speaking of information; I'm minutes away from buying a new laptop. A cheap one with Win 8.1

  7. I really don't think it's a simulation. If it is one, then actual reality is likely very different from it, with beings that for whatever reason wanted to create something new.

    I think it's all much like a dream, where we unconsciously create the 'next scene' all the time, and because we create it, it always satisfies us as being real, since it satisfies all our criteria for 'real-ness.'

  8. I truly get a strong impression that we not only create our realities but we do so in the FEAR that it won't be real to us, it must be real, has to be real, so as we create, we also convince ourselves that we're not the creators.

    1. Correct, otherwise life itself won't be liveable.

  9. Interesting post Brian. Part of me really wants to reach back into my life, access a key "branch point" and move forward again from there...or at least to occupy another subjective track. If these other tracks really exist I'm not sure who the "me's" are who are on them, but the desire is certainly there.

    But...BUT do we ever successfully access such a deep reality switch. Whenever I try, I always wake up again, in this same dull old branch. If it really is our beliefs (and is even the "multiverse" ultimately a belief-cage? just a bigger one?) how do we massage them enough so that natural law, as experienced by us, truly becomes malleable? I've lost count of the number of hours I spent when I was younger trying to bend forks and spoons with the power of the mind...and never succeeding. And if we are in a belief-cage, is the cage individually made, or is it a collective cage...a kind of mind-field that is emitted by our entire species? That might go some way to explain its resistance to change. Anyway, I am all ears for any practical suggestions that may exist to access those deep fork points. I'm serious...I would do this, if I could. Not talking about suicide or anything like that (though I am not sure what would happen to the current me-fork, it is true) but changing the world line, especially going *back* and changing it from an earlier life point. After all, if you are really being serious about all life being information, and belief being critical to "reality"...why would it not be possible? And yet...HOW would we do this feat?

  10. It occurs to me that you know which timeline you 'belong' to and that's the one you'll always default to *as long as you remember it.*
    It may be that death is what is required to switch. Or that it requires more energy of some sort to move to timelines different enough from your own to be even noticeably different.
    I think we actually occupy more than one timeline at once anyhow, without realizing it. I've gotten the impression that my thoughts themselves are the average of all the thoughts of all versions of me *similar enough to essentially be able to be thought of as identical.* So say one of me dies. I might feel that as a twinge. Who knows? The one that died wouldn't realize they even died since it's the *average* of all our similar-timeline thoughts that we think of as the *real one.*

  11. I guess what I'm driving at, is, if it is really our believes that are holding us in check, surely a belief such as "death is necessary" or "a large amount of energy is necessary" are also such beliefs by which we are limiting ourselves? The trouble with death is, if you find out that that doesn't switch you, it's a bit late to try a different method :D

    How about trying an experiment where you attempt to fork in a *small* way...say using Salvia to to fork into a world where everything the same except that you have a different steering wheel cover on your car, or a different style of kettle. Do you see what I mean? Something that is low stakes. No relationships have to end, or begin, etc. The interesting thing, of course, is whether you would *realize* that you have a different steering wheel cover, or whether those around you would realize, as in "what the hell Brian..we've ALWAYS had that cover."

    But I am encouraging you. I think you should try an experiment like this!!! Remember, the best choice is something with very low stakes but which, at the same time, could not POSSIBLY be mistaken for the world branch you are currently in. What say you? :D

  12. I get impression that things are different all the time but when I think about it I feel myself forgetting, like when I come out of a SD vision, and the new normal seems normal to me, no way to prove anything is different even to myself.

  13. Plus what I usually do is move to a different branch of my timeline than I normally would have. So to be clear, all new branches have the identical past history, so no new steering wheel covers possible. That would require me moving to a "more distant" timeline with a different past. I've read about other SD users getting back from a trip and seeing new drapes (in one case) and things like that, and nobody in the new track remembers anything different, they say the drapes were always like that etc.

  14. I recently had just come out of trance and was thinking about my life, remembering things, details, then suddenly I realized IT WASN'T THE LIFE I KNEW and it all went POOF GONE. As in, everything I'd been remembering about a different life went away and was instantly replaced with my more familiar history. That was in the past month. I remember thinking it, seeing a different past, but no details at all about any of what it might have been.

  15. I still think you should try the steering wheel thing :) Aren't you curious to try? Else we are just talking weird stuff? If it can happen for drapes...

    Anyway, are you aware of the whole Berenstein Bears/ Berenstain bears debate? Google it. It's all over the internet. Apparently, screeds and screeds of people remember, REALLY remember these kids books as being the BerenstEin Bears....but all physical copies now read "BerenstAin." Now I'm agnostic about that, because I never had a relation to those books and don't know them, but something that came up in one of those discussions really threw me for a loop.If you check, anywhere, you'll find it's "Interview With The Vampire" but what I remember is "Interview With **A** Vampire" and I remember it being that way always. I might be mistaken of course, but there's the rub, the "false memory" theory isn't provable either.

  16. I have had many of those false memories, and more recently, but the recent ones I seem to sense it, then it *tries to go away* like I feel it fading and I have to really put effort into remembering it.

    I will try the equivalent of the steering wheel cover, but the problem is it's not like I design these things. I have experiences and then write about them. I hadn't written in a long time precisely because I couldn't get anything new to happen. Lots of the same stuff, but I'd covered all that mostly.

  17. As a kid I had a Bird book, listing the range of the turkey vulture up to about north carolina/georgia area, so the first time I saw any was when I went to florida as a kid, WITH THAT BOOK. So I know I read about the turkey vultures I saw, and I remember their range. Well, one day decades later I was driving around in Connecticut, and saw a freaking turkey vulture on the side of the road. So I got out my trusty book, the VERY SAME ONE I took to florida all those years ago, and it now listed the range as up to Connecticut! BUT I REMEMBERED IT DIFFERENTLY.

    I do believe we switch tracks over time, and we just don't realize it.

  18. That's interesting on the turkey vultures Brian. Meanwhile all my friends are trying to persuade me it's always been Interview With THE Vampire.HEH! I don't buy it!

    It's interesting about the fading, almost like the way dreams behave, as if dreams are parallel realities at some level, and our experience of them serves a purpose, but at the same time they don't "want" to be remembered, because they are somehow not a part of this reality.

  19. In the track I am familiar with, it's interview with the vampire.