This is A WORLD OUT OF MIND, my Online Journal where I explore Consciousness and the Ultimate Nature of Reality by the intentional alteration of my own belief structures, using Salvia Divinorum and additional self-altering meditational techniques drawn from Western Ceremonial Magic.

I always attempt to adhere to the scientific method as much as possible in my explorations, and while I often speak of these experiences as if I knew they were Truth, I always consider the alternative, that it is merely self-deception on my part, and think accordingly. Thus I maintain two parallel world views at once, one aspirational and one a safe fallback into standard materialism.

The more I journey into salviaspace, the more I think the former worldview is the correct one, but there is no objective way to prove that to the world, so I'll let you, the reader, decide for yourselves.

-Saint Brian the Godless

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Monday, October 26, 2015

Welcome to Green World


Through the years of my experimentation with salvia divinorum and my own consciousness, I have from time to time found myself in a place that I've only shards of memory of. Recently I once again found myself there but somehow managed to awaken a tiny kernel of my analytical mind and ask myself a few questions about the experience. This is what I recall about it now.

It's a very deep place, seemingly underlying all consciousness, all reality, all dreams, all feelings and sensations. Almost like the static of a television station that is lacking a signal. The baseline of all consciousness. Perhaps like an infinite three-dimensional canvas for all conceivable realities to be painted upon. "The Matrix," in a way.

I call it Green World, for lack of a better name. It happens when I sink deep within myself, past even my own sense of "I AM" down to just an inchoate sense of pure "I."

With eyes closed, an inner light, bluish-green in color, is seen in my visual imagination. It just appears, at first a dim glow, soon intensifying to a bright sparkling static-filled three-dimensional world with nothing in it but the basic structure of reality, thin interlocking green and red threads, tiny filaments, so tiny, but everywhere, making up dim shapes in this glowing world.

The sparkling blue-green glow replaces my body, beginning at the forehead and region of my eyes. My body thus is dissolved into the glow. I have no body at all. Where my body should be, is the green light, sparkling with energy, glowing, potent. I have no eyes to see, but do not need them. I feel the energy, the tingling, an electrical sensation, in lieu of a body. I am one with this world, because this world is made up of pure "I." Pure Identity. I sense that strongly.

There is an associated aural sensation, not a sound but a sense of a sound, hard to describe. It seems like nonsense syllables, but I've heard them before in prior visits here. Something akin to "elektraglyzsendee" or parts of that, but that's not it, there is no real way to describe this. I've "heard" it many times, but it remains indescribable. When I sense the almost-sound of this nonsense phrase, I feel it in my core, it goes right through me, through all of this inner Green World, like a muted kind of teeth-on-tinfoil sensation. It seems to mean something, to be significant somehow, no idea how though.

Oh, another thing. Green World is always terrifying. I never knew why before, but I do now.

There is always terror upon arriving here. Primal Terror and strong deja-vu. In my early days, that was hard to overcome, but I've done this a few times before, even though it is difficult to recall specifics. I have a kind of experience, a 'feel' for it now.

So I feel the terror, tell myself it cannot harm me, embrace it, and it passes me by. Much better.

Why is this Green World terrifying? Good question, yet one I'd never been aware enough to able to ask myself while being here before. This time however I managed to ask myself that question while I was in a position to answer it. This time I was aware enough to ask it, and figure out the answer. I even managed to ask myself in the moment about the clarity of the answer I was receiving, and it was very clear indeed, like a clear memory.

The terror I feel when I come here is because of all the many times I'd come here previously when I'd just died.

Green World is terrifying because normally we only find ourselves here because we've just died.

Or rather, because one of our dreams of being alive has just ended.

Same thing.

It's like it's the Blank Slate we experience while on "layover."

This I clearly sensed as soon as I asked. Death and Life. The dead tarry here, in this deep realm, and the living also, but they are unaware of it, being focused on other things.

We are all here, all the time. Only our dreams differ. If you dream deeply enough to believe you're awake, you will not see or sense Green World, but here you are regardless. You can't leave it, because it *is* you. It is everything, and yet most of all, it is nothing.

In my prior visions, when I've seen green light, waves or currents of it, it came from this Green World, from this underlying strata of reality that intersects everything. This I sensed as well.

Green World is Identity, pure "I." It is not my personal identity, it is the identity that is the real structure of dreams, all dreams, including real-seeming ones like this life. It is pure mind, rendered visible. It is not our dream, for we do not dream it; it dreams us. It is not only the deepest core of my being, but also of yours, and everybody and everything.

Or so it seems to one person making deep-dives into his own mind, at any rate. No proof of course. Just very interesting to me, and who knows, perhaps to you as well.