This is A WORLD OUT OF MIND, my Online Journal where I explore Consciousness and the Ultimate Nature of Reality by the intentional alteration of my own belief structures, using Salvia Divinorum and additional self-altering meditational techniques drawn from Western Ceremonial Magic.

I always attempt to adhere to the scientific method as much as possible in my explorations, and while I often speak of these experiences as if I knew they were Truth, I always consider the alternative, that it is merely self-deception on my part, and think accordingly. Thus I maintain two parallel world views at once, one aspirational and one a safe fallback into standard materialism.

The more I journey into salviaspace, the more I think the former worldview is the correct one, but there is no objective way to prove that to the world, so I'll let you, the reader, decide for yourselves.

-Saint Brian the Godless

Follow me on Twitter @AWorldOutOfMind


Thursday, August 29, 2013

Ialdabaoth, the Demiurge

I recently ran across the writings of one "Brother Harmonious." (Thank you, Dioxippus) He mentioned Ialdabaoth, the Gnostic Demiurge. Some of the things he said seemed to relate to something I'd encountered while on salvia, so I researched it. I'd heard the concepts before but hadn't thought about them much recently, and had forgotten the details, so I just looked it up:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ialdabaoth

Two pertinent paragraphs:

"The word "demiurge" is an English word from a Latinized form of the Greek δημιουργός, dēmiourgos, literally "public worker", and which was originally a common noun meaning "craftsman" or "artisan", but gradually it came to mean "producer" and eventually "creator". The philosophical usage and the proper noun derive from Plato's Timaeus, written c. 360 BC, in which the demiurge is presented as the creator of the universe. This is accordingly the definition of the demiurge in the Platonic (c. 310 BC-90 BC) and Middle Platonic (c. 90 BC-300 AD) philosophical traditions. In the various branches of the Neoplatonic school (third century onwards), the demiurge is the fashioner of the real, perceptible world after the model of the Ideas, but (in most Neoplatonic systems) is still not itself "the One". In the arch-dualist ideology of the various Gnostic systems, the material universe is evil, while the non-material world is good. Accordingly, the demiurge is malevolent, as linked to the material world."

And:

"Gnosticism presents a distinction between the highest, unknowable God and the demiurgic “creator” of the material. Several systems of Gnostic thought present the Demiurge as antagonistic to the will of the Supreme Being: his act of creation occurs in unconscious semblance of the divine model, and thus is fundamentally flawed, or else is formed with the malevolent intention of entrapping aspects of the divine in materiality. Thus, in such systems, the Demiurge acts as a solution to the problem of evil."

"In the most radical form of Christian Gnosticism, the Demiurge is the "jealous God" of the Old Testament."

See, I think I've met him. Or at least encountered him. Twice.

First time, I was looking at my television screen on salvia, and this grotesque male face poked out of the screen and glared around the room for a second or two. It seemed to be a part of a larger "mass" behind the television extending back beyond the wall of the room. All black, and dark tones of brown and reddish. Very, very angry looking, bearded, very MALE, no hint of any "yin" energy, the extreme of "yang." Violent, cruel, ruthless, warlike, aggressive, all the male traits carried to their extreme. Frightening, to be frank. Terrifying. Evil.

The next and last time I was eyes-closed and way out there at the fringes of our universe, and felt HIS presence again, but it was like he was this universe, or this universe was inside him; he formed the barrier which separates and cordons off this place from the rest of the ALL, from the Mind Which Is All That There Is, which is needless to say a much better place. I could clearly sense that after I die, I would have to experience HIM in some way, because I would be passing through HIM, which would not be pleasant, to say the least. However I was not without hope because I also saw (and sensed directly as only a salvia-tripper can understand) that HE was like a growth on the (much) larger whole of creation, and since I could not die, I would eventually be able to get through HIM and in time (whatever that means in this context) get past HIM to the better place. The place of the glowing green light, I think. The ALL.

So I see parallels here, with Ialdabaoth, the Demiurge. I wonder if there's anything to it. If there is, then I apparently have met the God of the Old Testament, Yahweh. PS: He's not very nice.

60 comments:

  1. I've definitely encountered something like you're describing here. Very frightening and malevolent. I haven't studied much about Gnosticism, but I thought you might enjoy Brother Harmonious :)

    Some people say that they don't like Salvia because the trip is too dark and negative. Creepy vibes and full-on evil. That hasn't been my experience for the most part. I've actually had more negative experiences with other classic psychedelics than I have with Salvia.

    That said, I think there's the potential to experience these dark forces with something like Salvia. It is very good at displaying duality in my opinion. The yin and yang, good and evil. But in a very balanced manner, I think.

    Have you read J.D Arthur's book called "Doorway to Thought-free Awareness"? I was considering making a pdf out of it for you if you're interested.

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  2. I have not read it and am interested. If you get the chance, I'd appreciate it.

    I wonder if other users of psychedelics get the soreness at the top of the head thing. It's quite noticeable.

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    1. I'm pretty sure I read at least one or two reports of this happening to people who volunteered for Rick Strassman's DMT study. There's even most likely mention of it in the film The Spirit Molecule. I'll watch it tomorrow and flip through the book and see if I can get direct quotes :)

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  3. "I would get a warm, full feeling, a golden feeling, in my chest before it went to my head. I'd feel this warm rod, about an inch and a half in diameter, start growing up inside my central channel. It would come up, sorta slow, and warm up my chest, go up through my head, and slow down and put tremendous pressure in my sinuses, behind my eyes. And slow down and start to grow and distend the skin behind my forehead about one inch behind my hairline. I was afraid it was going to pop my skin a few times because it was a very physical feeling. About an inch or two above my skull, when I'd pop through there the psychedelic trip would start." ~ From the film "The Spirit Molecule"

    I often get the feelings he's describing here. And often after I return, the top of my head feels tender and sore. It doesn't stay for long, perhaps an hour at most, but it's very noticeable.

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  4. Yahweh is a Cocksucker - pardon my French.
    Gnosticism does jibe with the salvia idea of different levels within salvia reality. It makes sense that our material world is fucked up and run by a demiurge, but the idea of a demiurge is pretty basic. It's not a very logical idea. A demiurge controlling our world probably could only exist in some back(ass)wards book like the Old Testament.

    I like what St. Brian said about the apparition inside the TV set. I've heard other salvia trippers write about TV characters suddenly speaking to them. This could just be a form of temporary
    psychosis, but I wouldn't poopoo or downplay what could be happening behind the scenes (Matrix). It wouldn't surprise me one bit that 'extradimensional' beings are manipulating characters in our world and using them as avatars (another screenplay idea that I wont follow up on).

    "Have you read J.D Arthur's book called "Doorway to Thought-free Awareness"? I was considering making a pdf out of it for you if you're interested."

    Is that a re-title of 'Peopled Darkness'? I wont trash him too much except to say that there's very little actual salvia related themes in the book. He could have said it was about LSD or opium or cocaine or Tylenol and sold the same amount of books.

    I loved it when Brother Harmonius would just kick back in that shed or whatever is was and smoke salvia. He made it seem very peaceful. It would have been fun to trip with him.

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    1. I realize we disagree about J.D Arthur's book. I found many parts resonate with me, and although he draws conclusions that I don't necessarily agree with, I found it enjoyable and thought provoking. Oh and yes, that's just the title it was reprinted with. It's the same book.

      The themes were more broadly painted, but I caught mention of several. It's definitely a book dealing with Salvia, I find it unmistakable. Those who have been there just seem to have this way of talking or writing about it. You have it more than anyone I've met in a long time burningmouth. And St. Brian here as well. The only other person who was even more able to describe this space was this kid I met on a forum which was shutdown many years ago. He, like TVSuat, was able to relay the experience while it was happening. He would type this wall of text with tons of spelling mistakes and hardly any punctuation, but you could tell he was actually explaining the things he was experiencing, while they were happening. I don't know how the hell he did it. Some for of automatic writing, with a keyboard. I wish I could talk to him again, ask him more questions.

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  5. The television was paused. The malignant male face just came out of a blank area of the screen (image paused remember, but still there) and glared around, not even necessarily at me. He seemed to be pure yang energy with no yin at all.

    Anyhow, I also sensed him as like a 'field' of his energy encompassing this universe, as if this universe were made up of him, and he in turn was made up of the 'energy' of "THE ALL." So he's not the boss, per se, more like a local influence that caused the separation of all of us, from all of THE ALL.

    Or whatever.... hard to tell of course. He seemed to signify something important, something related to death, and something scary, like a trial.

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  6. There may be a similarity or equivalency between this male being, and the "outer darkness" we've spoken about.

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  7. If you haven't already, you should read the 'Tibetan Book of the Dead' (with a commentary). I think there might be a demiurge character or characters who must be dealt with or beaten (like a Boss in a video game) before a recently dead person can fully transmigrate out of this world.

    I think the actual physical laws of the universe are a type of demiurge. We are stuck in this material world with its gravitation, electromagnetic, strong and weak forces. That's why salvia is so great. For 5 minutes we (or our minds) are free of those forces.

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  8. Well, let me tell you that if anybody here is an avatar of this Demiurge that I encountered, they have to be enormous assholes.

    Wait a minute... this could explain a lot.

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  9. I haven't been tripping much lately... I seem to have developed an unwanted resistance to salvia. Shit.

    I seem to automatically hold onto my identity lately.... a little too well... I mean, I'm using 50X and doing larger hits... not huge ones, but more than used to send me flying even when I was using 35X. But I have this tiny room in the back of my mind that I've developed so that I retain some sense of reason when I'm tripping, and it would seem that once having done that, it's hard to stop, and I've gotten better at it for some reason. Last thing I wanted to do. I'll have to do one huge hit of the 50X and take my chances with a bad trip, I guess. Like a heaping tweezerful.

    Maybe I need to try another brand. Any recommendations? I've been ordering from Salviamart.com. Have you guys tried different brands?

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    1. Personally I haven't purchased a Salvia extract in many years. I extract and grow my own. You could buy a kilo of Salvia leaf and make your own too. It's very simple. An extraction takes literally three minutes. Then you let some of the sediment settle, pour it off and let the solvent evaporate. Voila. If I can do it, anyone can. I didn't even take a chemistry class in high school.

      I found a lot of the commercial extracts to be weak and dirty. I purchased one early on, a gram of 20x I think, and it was literally all black and sticky. The extracts I produce look like plain leaf with sparkly salvinorin A crystals all over it.

      The last place I bought Salvia leaf from (they also did sell extracts) was tranceplants.com They're a Canadian vendor though. And you have to email them and ask for a price list for the Salvia as they don't list it on their website. A lot of vendors do that now, or don't even sell it at all. Especially in the states.

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    2. Sorry, that should be tranceplants.net

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    3. The extracts I produce look like plain leaf with sparkly salvinorin A crystals all over it.
      --------------------
      I've never seen anything like that. Sounds amazing.

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  10. Maybe tonight I'll try to blast myself into the stratosphere with a big hit and see if it works. Hope so!

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    1. (never got around to it... too tired.... I'm on a new schedule because my wife got a huge promotion but has to work in the evenings)

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  11. Speaking of 'avatars,' I've often had the passing thought that some people aren't real; that they're like AI's in computer games, put here just to piss us off.

    More likely they're just human assholes I suppose, but still, it would almost make me feel better if they were AI's. Make me less ashamed for my species.

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    1. Have you read Simulacron-3? A book burningmouth sent me a while back. Your post just reminded me of it :) It's a good book about simulated reality and such.

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  12. Never even heard of it. Was it a good read?

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    1. I really enjoyed it. I could send it to you for free if you like :) I've read it twice and it was originally burningmouth who sent it to me.

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    2. You have it on file? A whole book?

      Maybe at some point... I'm reading a series now, on the fifth book out of like twelve, so I've got a lot to read. Of course, I tend to go through a four hundred page book in a night or two, so maybe soon...

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    3. Let me know how you'd be sending it... what format... I might be able to read it on my Kindle... I can't read a book on a computer... besides my kid's on mine all day long.

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  13. I happen to have about three pounds of salvia leaf. Think two shoeboxes full to overflowing.

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  14. What do you use to extract it? As in, what solvent? I don't want to be buying ether or anything like that...

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  15. Just out of curiosity, would you expect to always see salvinorum crystals on a high-number extract over 30X or so? Because I'm not seeing them.

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  16. As for the book, it's an actual paperback copy. I meant I could ship it to you, whenever you're done with your current stack of books. I'm the same, I always have several on the go at one time. A stack on my night stand. My day isn't complete without reading a book and at least some journal writing.

    I'll e-mail you about the extraction details ;)

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  17. Those details are more than I'm willing to do, so I guess I'm back to buying extracts online. I'll try to shop around for a better choice.

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  18. Never mind, I just bought a copy on Kindle. Mike Resnick is one of the two authors, and I've read almost everything he's ever written... one of my favorite SF authors. So I couldn't resist.
    Thanks for the tip!

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    1. It's a great sci-fi book. Way ahead of its time.

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    2. Turns out Resnick just wrote the afterword or something, but it still looks interesting.. I just read the first chapter... it's not a new book, is it? Seems like it could get interesting. I'm still reading the other series though, so it'll hafta wait a bit.

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    3. It was first published in the 60's actually. Way ahead of its time. A book about simulated reality before there were even computers that didn't fill an entire room. Unbelievable.

      The copy I have has the afterword by Resnick too.

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  19. They made it into a movie "The Thirteenth Floor". It's pretty good. Not great.

    "Speaking of 'avatars,' I've often had the passing thought that some people aren't real; that they're like AI's in computer games, put here just to piss us off."

    You mean like our political leaders? We've all heard of the one percenters. I wonder who controls the one percenters? Que Rod Serling.

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  20. I've heard of that movie. Didn't see it though.

    I did see "1408." With John Cusak. Now that is a pretty scary movie

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  21. I watched 'The Thirteenth Floor' again last night. It's not a half bad interpretation of the book. Not great, but not bad. I had completely forgotten that Vincent D'Onofrio was in it. I like his acting style. I'm going to watch 'The Cell' tonight before bed :) That movie has some cool Salvia-esque visuals in it.

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  22. Replies
    1. I think we meant "cue", although I didn't even pick up on that mistake, surprisingly. I'm usually a total grammar and spelling nazi.

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  23. I saw "the Cell." Since I absolutely cannot stand Jennifer Lopez I couldn't even take it seriously. Sorry, I tend to be fairly critical when talking about movies.
    Her acting ability is worse than my ability to levitate.

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    1. Oh, and it was basically a new take on "Dreamscape" with Dennis Quaid.

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    2. Ha, weird. While I was watching the movie last night, the scene where Jennifer Lopez is at home in her undies, I was admiring her sublime buttocks, as I always do :) I agree, her acting isn't the greatest, but the dripping testosterone factory that I am, I make allowances because of that sweet ass :D

      Anyhow, while watching that scene, I thought about the post I made here, and I thought about you. It came unbidden, totally out of the blue, that I somehow knew you didn't like her. My actual thought was, "He won't like this movie because of J-Lo and her shitty acting" assuming of course you hadn't seen it yet.

      Just thought I'd relay that as it can't be coincidence. Although it's generally known how horrible her acting is :)

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    3. I haven't seen Dreamscape. Now I have a movie to watch tonight :) Sounds interesting.

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    4. I would gladly just watch her ass for a while, but it still can't carry a movie for me. :-(

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  24. Hey Dio, that company you sent me the info for that had the crystals on the leaf, only went up to 20X. I'm wondering if it's that much stronger than my 50X... too bad they don't go higher... I'll try one envelope of it and see.

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    1. Well, here's the thing. Most vendors will advertise their extract as much higher than it actually is. Because '50x' or '100x' sounds like some seriously potent stuff, and you're guaranteed to get the bang for your buck.

      In reality, a true 20x is EXTREMELY strong. Not just for people like me who have no tolerance either. A true 50x would be far too potent for people to measure doses. 400x is essentially pure Salvinorin A. If you take into consideration that strong Salvia leaf has about 3mg of Salvinorin A per gram, a gram of 20x would have roughly 60mg of Salvinorin A. And those are high estimates, it's probably at least a little lower than that. A strong dose of Salvinorin A is only 2 - 3mg. So you would only need a very small amount of a legitimate 20x to achieve full breakthrough effects. We're talking a tiny pinch (~30mg).

      Start real small with that 20x. If it's a true 20x, it may be stronger than any other extract you've smoked :)

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    2. A thread of interest regarding Salvia doses.

      https://www.dmt-nexus.me/forum/default.aspx?g=posts&t=17079

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  25. And incidentally, Burningmouth... what is 'short' for your name there? I mean, I can call Dioxippus "Dio" but for some reason I don't seem to want to call you "BM."

    ;-)

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  26. I'd never heard of David Icke. I looked him up just now. Poor guy. I can see why he believes in reptilian overlords, but alas, they're just people. Hard as it is to believe, about half of all people are totally self-absorbed and empathy-deficient. That's how we get Republicans.

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  27. Some of his other ideas, such as parallel worlds and so on, aren't that far out. But the reptilians are just his way of dealing with the hard fact that, as shameful as it may be, many of our own species are heinously horrific people and are proud of it. I mean, I actually *WISH* that they were reptilians, but alas, they're just pathetic members of our own species.

    Instead of reptilian aliens, it all has to do with PRIDE and egotism and ignorance and apathy.

    Pride blinds humans to who they have allowed themselves to become, and projects all flaws onto others.

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    1. I really do enjoy some of the lectures he gives. I don't buy into everything he says obviously, but he does have some very interesting things to say. He goes off about the illuminati and reptilioids, but he sure knows a hell of a lot about global finance. I try to listen with an open mind as much as I can, no matter how far off the deep end some of the theories seem. Life is much more interesting that way.

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  28. I read "The Illuminatus Trilogy" by Robert Anton Wilson years ago... I enjoyed it a lot.. Padre Pederastia... too funny...

    Some people take that stuff seriously, like everything else... someone will believe in just about anything.

    No, he sounds interesting, no doubt. I didn't mean to totally degrade him. I mean, I kinda feel his pain. He doesn't want to admit to himself that actual human beings belonging to the same species as he does are capable of such seemingly inhuman activities and thoughts. I get it. I feel the same, it's just that talking to people for years on a religion VS science type blog had made me aware that we humans can sell anything to ourselves as something good and right, even if it's an atrocity, if it's pure evil. We *are* that base. What I try to take comfort in is that we are also capable of great goodness and are, some of us, capable of being so appalled at evil people that we want to deny to ourselves that they're even people....

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  29. I updated my blogs today. Take a journey with me through the wormhole :)

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  30. If thinking over where can i get salvia, so you must go through this comment as I here I am sharing that website which I had find day before yesterday. This website is offering a psychoactive plant named salvia in various quantities as per the consumer's need and at affordable price. In terms of quality, you need not make a second thought. I am linking that website in the comment, must consider once. You truly will find that website a most comprehensive source for getting information and a quality salvia product.

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  31. Wow. They found me. Now I need to grow a beard and move.

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  32. Hey Brian,

    Here's a link to an interview with the author of that Salvia book I mentioned.
    http://beforeitsnews.com/paranormal/2013/06/shamanic-quest-for-the-spirit-of-salvia-2453076.html?currentSplittedPage=0

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  33. I'm really having trouble tripping lately. I think it might be due to the fact that by the time I get to smoke at night, I'm exhausted. My wife recently got a big promotion but has to work third shift so I'm watching the kids, as it were, and have less time to myself at the end of the day, and I'm shagged. Also it seems that my mind is determined to cling to reality more now, so it fights off the onset of the experience. I still get all the good meditational qualities that I love, but no visions, even with a couple of hits of 50X.

    That link was interesting... Thanks.

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  34. I find that it's hard to do at the end of a long day as well. The times when I pushed it while I was exhausted were when I had some really crazy experiences. So don't force it, is what I'm trying to say. Maybe the new extract will help. I think you said you ordered some from that site I showed you. Maybe when you have more time to yourself and you have the new extract things will be different.

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  35. I managed to have minor visions the night before last... a really large dose helped. Multiple planes of reality and the sense that all of this reality is a mirage, all constructed of the same One Thing, that sort of thing. Very clear and convincing though. So that's good.

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