This is A WORLD OUT OF MIND, my Online Journal where I explore Consciousness and the Ultimate Nature of Reality by the intentional alteration of my own belief structures, using Salvia Divinorum and additional self-altering meditational techniques drawn from Western Ceremonial Magic.

I always attempt to adhere to the scientific method as much as possible in my explorations, and while I often speak of these experiences as if I knew they were Truth, I always consider the alternative, that it is merely self-deception on my part, and think accordingly. Thus I maintain two parallel world views at once, one aspirational and one a safe fallback into standard materialism.

The more I journey into salviaspace, the more I think the former worldview is the correct one, but there is no objective way to prove that to the world, so I'll let you, the reader, decide for yourselves.

-Saint Brian the Godless

Follow me on Twitter @AWorldOutOfMind


Thursday, July 21, 2016

Core Implosion



I do not write often to this blog, because I only like to write about the most unusual experiences, and don't like to repeat myself. This (double) experience is highly unusual for me. Something completely new.

And for the life of me I don't know what it means.

Very well then, let's get to it:

Several nights back, in deep meditation, but a very light trance state. Totally coherent. I could easily have held a conversation were there anyone else in the room.

First, as always happens, the room around me, including my body, became "pixellated." As if the room were a 3-D television screen, and everything in it, including my body, were composed of glowing pixels hanging in space, vibrating. I even feel a distinct buzzing or humming in my entire body.

I maintained my upright sitting posture and just opened my mind to it all. I observed, but did not think. I just absorbed. No distractions.

So the room is full of what looks like television static, visually a light grayish-white glowing field of millions of tiny dots with perhaps a hint of green. And there I sat, for perhaps ten minutes, buzzing with energy.

Suddenly I noticed movement off to my right. A new "field" of static pixels was entering the room through the wall. A large wall of these pixels, a vast shadow, approached me, entering the room through the actual wall of the bedroom, interpenetrating the already-existing field of pixels that comprised the volume of space around me. It slowed as it approached me. It's size was immense. I could see it even through the walls and ceiling of my room, extending up and down and to both sides. It was like a vast, dark mountain was sliding closer to me, and I had this sudden feeling that I had called it. The approaching "mass" of darkness was smooth and slightly convex, bulging slightly, not flat like a plane. Enormous, towering, gigantic. It stopped, almost touching me.

I know this sounds insane, but I got this incredibly strong feeling that this was some sort of "transcendental intelligence." That it was a fellow occupant of the vast mind we call reality, not the author of it, not the creator of it. Not a deity in any way mind you, but as if it were "the next level up" from our reality somehow. A higher-order intellect. I got an impression that it tends to ignore us, like we are a lesser, smaller kind of intelligence in the vast dream of reality. Not unimportant, not unknown to it, but generally escaping its notice as it thinks of more important things.

But it had noticed me. And so it had approached me to see what I was.

It was not like being in the presence of a god, because it wasn't anything like what we think of a god, but it certainly was something as important as a god. So I felt chilled, awed, yet not at all humbled.

It meant me no harm.

I was a bird in the garden, off the beaten path, and it was wondering what I was singing about, so it came to check me out. And no, I don't mean that literally. It's as good as any analogy, though.

I remember an exchange of information of some sort, then it left, back in the direction it came. However, I have no clue what that exchange of information was.

And that was that.

That's a lot to handle, though.

Having no memory of the exchange, and yet feeling nothing negative about it or the gigantic presence that I had both seen and felt, I consciously attempted to contact it again the next night. Same meditation, same state of mind, sitting there in my bed, upright, crossed legs.

And this is where it gets even weirder, if that's possible.

In this state of pixelation, for lack of a better word, I see the inside of my own body as a field of very dark pixels, almost black. Darker than the pixels of the "being" that visited me. I feel them as well, as energy. I tell you this now because suddenly and violently there was a loud audible *crack* like a gunshot, and a sphere of this darkness that is inside of me, a sphere of it perhaps three to four inches in diameter, a sphere that was centered on my physical heart, suddenly vanished. It was an implosion in my chest, so violent that I almost fell over on the bed. I clearly felt the suction, the sudden vacuum pulling hard on the rest of my insides. It was exactly as if a sphere of meat had been teleported out of my chest, leaving a sphere-shaped void, which then imploded. There was actually a significant concussion, like a reverse-explosion of a very large firecracker. It hurt significantly. Real pain. It shocked me to the core.

I was partially blind now. Mostly blind. Vague shapes only. Very confused and shaken, I felt for my heartbeat with my hand. I felt and felt for it, but I could find absolutely no heartbeat. I felt for perhaps thirty seconds or more, and still my own chest was utterly still, like a corpse. I was beginning to think I had died in the real world somehow. All I could think of was my family I'd be leaving behind. Then gradually I began to feel more alive again. Felt for a carotid beat this time, and found one. And here I am.

So, what do you make of that? Because I have no idea whatsoever.

65 comments:

  1. This reminded me of King Tut, who had his heart removed and had been covered liberally with some sort of dark liquid: http://www.ancient-origins.net/history-famous-people/enigma-heartless-pharaoh-who-stole-heart-king-tut-and-why-005504

    ReplyDelete
  2. Guess it might remind one of that on reading it.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Brian, first of all let me say I think it's a shame that you don't write to the blog more often. I can certainly understand not wanting to record stuff that seems like more of the same, though as it happens, I am always fascinated, especially by your multiverse-style visions. You said "more of the same" last time, but actually, each of these experiences seems to add a nuance or perspective that I had not thought of before. From a reader's standpoint then, they may not seem as humdrum as they do to you.

    With respect to this experience, I am at a loss right now to ponder what the heart implosion part might be, though the first part (the approaching wall) is not so very far away from some of the odd experiences of "Other" that folks report under DMT. See Rick Strassman's book for instance.

    Please do continue to share your experiences and your thoughts in relation to them. The multiversal style experiences are not old hat, as I don't really know anyone else who is (regularly) describing them. There does however seem to be scope for pressing gently into certain questions in an experimental way, though I understand that intent is difficult when under the influence. However, that seems partly a matter of dose. It is clearly evident that many of the dumb youtubers on this topic take far, far too much and hence render their experiences unmanageable even at a coarse level of action.

    ReplyDelete
  4. There are so many things that could in principle be probed, even if tricky to do so. For example:

    1) Do people / animals only respond to the "pressure wave" when they are asleep (the wave that wakes them up)

    2) Is there a distance effect from you?

    3) Does it work with people you don't know or don't know so well?

    4) Can you "astral travel" in this state to known physical locations?

    5) Is there a way to stabilize the "intent" to select among probabilities?

    6) Does use of salvia in some way enhance the ability to act with such intent or to invoke "magical action" (for want of a better phrase) over baseline consciousness? If so, what would be the best way to practice that?

    7) Does holding an intent in mind for an exprience make it more likely that salvia will respond with material relevant to your interest or intent?

    8) In the "wood between the worlds" is there a limit to how far you can walk, up and down the tunnel?

    9) Are there really hard limits at all, other than those we savagely believe in with the deep subconscious?

    10) Could the past be altered in a very tiny way...such as changing a trivial detail in the design of the curtains in your bedroom...such that they were always that way? Have you heard of the whole Berenstein/Berenstain Bears thing?

    11) Is a kind of feedback possible for efficacy of any intents or actions taken in this state? For example, could you heal your dog's ear, or expediate that healing, by "leaning" towards future frames/alternate worlds where he is already a little more recovered. Etc.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Haven't had a multiverse vision for a while but I've been working with meditation rather than higher-dose visions, and I have a new supplier of salvia that is excellent, but it seems to act differently, although even more potent and less caustic to the lungs.

      So many possible questions to answer.... Let me tell you something that I've been working on. It will interest you.

      I am sensing the next proximate moment now, while in meditation, as an array or spectrum of possible next-moment universes. Directly. It's still vague, but for instance, I look at the sleeping dog and meditate on him waking up. What I do is to strongly imagine the visual and sound. I then look to the array of next-moment universes where I see him move, and listen to the array to see if way off in the distance, dimly, I can hear him seem to stir. I focus on these, and they happen.

      Delete
  5. To be clear, I attain a state where I look at the dog and he's blurred.... his paws seem to move around, his outline unclear. Then I look through all that superimposed mishmash for an image of him moving as if to raise his head, any kind of reaction that seems to indicate him waking up. Sometimes I see it, and it can be willed to be real.

    ReplyDelete
  6. or I listen closely to the silence.... and eventually hear subtle noises... sometimes I can hear a dog noise, I focus on it, and he makes it. That kind of thing.

    ReplyDelete
  7. What I'm thinking is, as we progress through time, we're constantly seeing a blur representing superimposed choices, and the ones most statistically probable are the ones we see the clearest, so we tend to go with those. However, they're not the only choices on the menu. The others are just very subtle by comparison.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Your questions:
    1: No, I've awoken my wife by selecting a frame from a grid of possibilities in which I saw an image of her waking up. I selected that frame, and it happened. Plus other times, just as I take it, things happen. Weird cat noises in other room, that kind of thing. Once about a week ago I came out of my bedroom having just tripped, and both cats were sitting there, and out longhair was puffed up larger than I've ever seen her puff up, which to be honest, I never have.

    2. Best in line of sight. With exceptions.

    3. No idea.

    4. Not yet, and no indication that I can.

    5. Maybe, as you can see from my future moment thing I described above

    6. Also relates to that description above. Yes. I think so. I think this is it, if magick is real at all.

    7. With meditations, when I am awake, absolutely. It's all of it. You can do whatever you want to, and salvia makes it stronger till you see things relating to it. At higher doses, in full vision, not aware of surroundings, it's a lot more chaotic... kind of a spin of the wheel. Harder to control and predict.

    8. None that I could see. Straight tunnels in all directions radiating away, perfectly straight, receding to infinity. I did pass someone on one that time, but no clear memory of who or what or any interactions.

    9. No way to tell, but the deep subconscious is like a pre-existing mathematical condition that tends to force our choices into only what fits with what we're already expecting as to future possibilities. Or so it seems to me.

    10. I have had false memories of things that never happened, lately. Differences in my reality. Not sure if they're glitches in the matrix, lol. But seriously, not sure, but if you just jump to a similar future with a different past, that would have identical effect.

    11. Yes, emphatically. I have done this with his ear infection, other healings, and on my own pain. Now, with my outlook on the next possible array of moments, I select for the one in which I feel no pain from whatever I'm felling pain from, and it goes away. Or I shift bodies to that me. Or whatever it is.

    ReplyDelete
  9. I should also note, as an addendum to number 11 above, that I also feel the shift as I transition to an alternate nearby "frame" or whatever... like passing through a membrane sideways. I feel like all my atoms are replaced in a wave that passes through me. My vision jigs too when it hits my eyes.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Thank your for your replies, Brian. Alas, salvia is illegal in my resident State, and it is one of the worst states for this. My experimentation, to be safe legally, has therefore been limited to (rare) visits to friends out of state. And being a non-smoker all my life, I used tea...which however was disgusting, to put it mildly, and took over an hour of swilling to even have effect. I just know I would cough my lungs out if I tried smoking. Do head shops in salvia-legal States sell the tincture as a matter of course, or is it usually just extract for smoking?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Panther. In my state I've only seen extracts in headshops, no tinctures. I once saw plain leaf. If you could obtain plain leaf, I'd suggest chewing 2-4 grams re-hydrated leaves. This is not difficult, and if you are a soft-head, will go very deep this way, and peak for 30-45 minutes. It's a nice, gentle way to explore. I've found it similar to very light doses of smoked salvia without having to re-smoke every 10 minutes.

      Delete
    2. Plain leaf is the way to go if you can't smoke... of course still illegal for you. I don't wanna encourage illegality... mm....

      Delete
  11. I had one more instance (since I last wrote) of seeing things moving in pictures. And even though the effect was not strong, there really was an eerie sense of "pull" into the picture, into the actual world of the photograph, almost as if, should I abandon myself to it and use a higher dose, salvia would actually "transport" me to the moment in space and time that seemed to be "still alive" somehow in the photograph. Of course, this might be delusional (why do we always have to say this...it's like we're afraid of deeper possibility?), but it was certainly an eerie feeling. I'm inclined to think there's something too it. Thoughts?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Had similar with visions, that same feeling... for me my heart always started to beat fast, preventing me from choosing to stay there... so who knows?

      Delete
  12. I mentioned the tiny differences in the past thing, partly because certain sources (eg. the Seth Material) claim that you can change the past, at least to a degree. A friend of mine who is quite a famous NDEr said that she was traveling on a bus one time, seemed to wake up past her stop, decided that she might as well just stay on the bus till the end, then "woke up" again and it was her right stop. She could have dreamt it I guess. Or... The thing is, she seemed to change medical test results in the past during her NDE.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I've had one definite false memory. Remembered talking to my wife in bed. Clear memory next day. The problem? She was sleeping in my son's room. She has no recollection of our conversation. I still do. So again, mysteries abound.

      Delete
    2. Brian, do you mean a full waking conversation? Was this during or around an experiment?

      I'm not sure about some of the "Mandela Effect" stuff. Apparently C3PO in Star Wars always had one silver leg below the knee, but I'm damned if I remember that. I am prepared to accept I might just be misremembering it, though. Many 1000s of people seem to remember the "Berenstain" bears as "Berenstein."

      Delete
  13. My questions 5-6 and 8-10 are really where the core of my interest lies in this. Your answer to 9 seems to suggest that working on what we *expect* or transforming what we expect might be one of the most important of personal changes necessary. But then, how to do that? This is also coordinate with Seth Material, by the way, where it was said that expectation more than desire (though desire is also important) is a stronger determinant of outcome.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Chris, I tried the tea with rehydrating dried leaves. It was pretty horrible tasting, even buffered with sugar and honey. I also tried chewing just the dried leaves, which pretty much made me gag.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Kratom is way worse, worst thing I've ever put in my mouth in fact... but yes, salvia leaves are the very definition of "bitter."

      Delete
  15. Wow!! The implosion sounds very harrowing. I have plenty of physical sensations/movements caused by Salvia, but nothing that extreme. The only time I've had anything close to that was one particularly strong smoked DMT experience when it felt like my chest was physically split open. It was painful and so odd that I thought I was going to purge, although I didn't. I hope more insight comes to you regarding this...without the pain! I have no worthwhile thoughts on it at this point.

    I hadn't read about you passing someone/something in a tunnel before. That's an experience I *think* I'd like to have, and sort of expect to, but I also think it might be the one thing that would freak me out. I've yet to have any experience where I feel like I'm truly interacting with an 'other' in any sort of hyperspace/salviaspace, even though I've tried to connect at least with family members and plant 'spirits'.

    I second Panther's suggestion to post more often, if you have time and feel inclined. Your experiences are fascinating, even when repetitive. I feel that most salvia experiences are relate-able to anyone else who's been in that space. I can get the information from you without having to experience it myself...it's like a collective of information. I haven't found other psychedelics to be so globally useful from person-to-person.

    Regarding your description of how you see yourself (dark pixels), I recently saw a video thumbnail which reminded me of how I see myself and other people that I think of while on salvia. Does it look familiar to you at all? I see them like a flat sheet that is spiraling from all corners, inside and out, bigger and smaller. The linked picture is more of a wire frame, but looked very familiar to me:

    http://i3.ytimg.com/vi/9UcKhas3HCk/hqdefault.jpg

    Best,
    Chris

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Somewhat. The repetitive lines look like overlapping images similar to some I've seen in my "multiverse" type visions. The overlaps when I look at the dog are more chaotic and random though. Like a cloud of shadow images all superimposed to form one shadow, and you have to look hard and concentrate to resolve the individual images. But they're there.

      Delete
    2. I can also look at my hand, wiggle the fingers, and see a cloud of barely-visible "ghost fingers" in all possible positions around my actual ones.

      Delete
  16. Brian, this is a shot in the dark, but the heart implosion thing does have certain subjective similarities to some of the "concussions" people sometimes report themselves experiencing when attempting out-of-body states. Whatever those states are, they seem to have a point of intersection with these conditions, as if both are somehow converging on the same (or similar) states of consciousness, and the same (or similar) heightened awareness of "energies"...again, whatever that is taken to mean. I'm reminded of Robert Monroe, who claimed that a sudden "explosion" once blew him across the room (in an "oobe" state) with no discernible cause, and of other OOBERs who have spoken of "explosions" inside their heads, or a violent "popping" sensation as something presses out through the head, or a painful sensation of being "split right down the middle" if they somehow return too violently, or odd sensations of suddenly being a "ball" of blind awareness compressed downwards into the solar plexus area. It's almost as if the exact way in which consciousness (or "energy") relates to the body goes unpredictable once you push out of the (relatively stable?) waking state baseline. Heck, even sleep paralysis can be an adventure in this regard.

    ReplyDelete
  17. I'll try to write more often of the more typical events and tentative conclusions I might try to draw from them, thanks.

    ReplyDelete
  18. I have to say that Arena Ethnobotanicals, the place where I now order my salvia, is a night-and-day difference from all my previous sources. Not a commercial here, they don't pay me. But the strength is astounding. I had to halve my doses, and it was only their 60X and not the 100X I'd been used to. My first time with what I thought a normal dose to get me to meditative state, I tripped out and was crushed to a membrane and spiraled around myself into a roll that got tighter and tighter till the center became a singularity and I was destroyed. So that was a fun lesson! Now I literally smoke like six *specks* of it and I can meditate, even longer durations than before.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I am glad to hear that. I have only tried their imported plain leaf so far and it has been great for quidding. I've recommended them to a few people based on talking to them directly as they provide a phone number, so it's nice to hear a positive response.

      Delete
  19. Plus, used to cough when I smoked the old stuff, thought it was just occupational hazard, but now there's really so little smoke from a few specks of material that my lungs don't seem to suffer at all.

    ReplyDelete
  20. In model of a mathematical universe (which I consider possibly indistinguishable from one based in consciousness)a flipped coin dictates the possible next-moment universes as either heads or tails, because they can be nothing but. Even if it produces an infinity of universes, they are all either heads or tails. Thus the physics of the state of our brain when our mind is thinking a thought, dictates the possible next universes, meaning that whatever they are they must be predictable (possible) based on your state of mind in the now, before the next moment happens.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Of course, the physics of the tossed coin also dictates that, in the infinity of resultant next-moment universes, exactly 50% of them will be heads and 50% tails. Thus the state of the mind also ascribes ***probabilities*** to the resultant next-moments, and we tend to only ever see the most likely ones, perhaps so similar one to the other that we see many superimposed, but the less likely ones, while still valid choices, may require a specific mental effort to reach and become "realized" as the next-moment-universe that we get to experience.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Salvia may just be, among other things, a way to forget your recent mindset about reality enough to be able to "see" the alternates.

    ReplyDelete
  23. The difficulty is drawing not-next-moment universes. Not so much the result of this coin toss, but "will I be able to sell my house" kind of thing. It's difficult to know what to focus on in the "next moment" to somehow cause something like that to become more probable.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Focus on the "done deed." Focus on visualizing you moving out, and moving into a new house. I did this once, to the point where I actually drove to the "new house" that we wanted to live in next and surreptitiously sneaking into the yard at night (no-one was living there) and removing a single stone. I used that single stone to focus on. "This stone is the house that we will live in next" meditations. I did this repeatedly. We live there now. Still have the stone, which came originally right from this yard, in my aquarium.

      Delete
    2. I like that story, though in my case I was only using the house thing as an example. "A stone from the yard" would be problematic.

      Delete
  24. Without salvia, too, it's difficult to know whether I'm just imagining things by trying to influence the future through holding an intent. If this stuff is real, one has to suppose that it works behind the scenes as a normal action of reality, whether salvia is involved or not, and what salvia is doing is somehow allowing you to "see" it...but without a feedback of some kind, it's hard to know whether you are doing anything. Kind of like trying to do PK on a tinfoil wheel in another room...but for some reason the wall is blocked off and you can't check the wheel. How do you know if there is any effect?

    ReplyDelete
  25. You don't know, but you police your thoughts so you don't dwell on negative results. Need to cultivate confidence in results. Also of course you frequently re-affirm your vision of the future, and feel confident in it. Salvia itself has helped me in this, training my confidence, because while in vision you can feel your intentions FAIL as you lose confidence in them, and get stronger as you gain it. The salvia trains me in this.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This is one reason why suppression of psychedelics makes me so mad. It's a kind of crime against humanity, nothing less. There should be a sort of license for adults, at the very most, or age coded allowance.

      Delete
  26. For instance, in external one-point meditation I am focusing my eyes on a point in front of me. However I cannot allow my mind to focus on it too. My mind must remain loose and unfocused, if anything more focused on all my peripheral field of vision.So I'm in a light trance, and can feel it as my focus starts to slip, and constantly re-inforce it. Over time it seems to train my confidence and lessen doubts.

    ReplyDelete
  27. Often in this one-point meditation, I see movement in the periphery. If I LOOK at it, it's gone. If I remain strong and do not allow myself to look directly at it, but only through peripheral vision, not even *flickering* in my intent, it often gets stronger and I see interesting things.

    ReplyDelete
  28. I used to do "magick" before... using ritual to focus intent and "switch tracks" without being able to sense them, with v. good results, but "blind" to them in the moment. This is better than that, at least.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. There does seem to be a link between all these things...your salvia outcomes (well, some of them), practice of what is called Magick, and attempts to induce PK or similar efforts.

      It could all be described as 1) Form and visualize an intent. 2)Hold such an intent in an altered state as best you can. 3) Release said intent so that "forces or influences" not of the ego actually have a chance to execute it. 2 and 3 seem no easy matter.

      Delete
  29. When you're trying to switch tracks "in the blind" then you must induce a momentary state of gnosis. Building excitement in yourself, then releasing it in a dramatic fashion. The old-fashioned method.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I do try that. And on some occasions there is a strong (subjective) sense of "faith" or "confidence"...while on other occasions there is a (subjective) sense of interfering doubt. Without immediate actual feedback of some kind, it's hard. I've certainly had a storm of synchronicities, as previously mentioned, but most of them seem maddeningly unrelated to the major intents, which is difficult to process. Also without feedback, it starts to develop a compulsive obsessive component...in other words, I start to doubt even that I can't doubt, if you see what I mean. I try to squeeze down this kind of thinking or feeling as best I can, but it seems to leak round the edges.

      Delete
    2. It's literally practice. Salvia seems to help me by presenting many things that I can't properly see or find out if my concentration breaks, or even the opposite, if I concentrate too much. So many times... really getting good at it now, even in real life.

      Delete
  30. Saint Brian,

    I remember in some of your blog post you felt that everything in existance, both animate and inanimate is somehow conscious or alive. This is interesting as it correlates to what this post had to say:

    https://www.reddit.com/r/Salvia/comments/3o23xs/the_curious_case_of_sentient_inanimate_objects/



    I also have an interesting lecture excerpt to share with you from Master Li Hongzhi ( the founder of Falun Dafa). I think you will find it insightful:



    “This cosmos is so vast and its structure is so complex. I’ve told you about the composition of dimensions. For example, matter is composed of molecules and even more microscopic particles. The dimension that we know of is also composed of these particles. Today, the particles known to science include molecules, atoms, neutrons, atomic nuclei, and electrons; and then there are quarks and neutrinos. What’s further down is unknown to today’s science. So what I’ve said is that the realm of each level of these particles is what we call the plane of that level. Actually, particles aren’t distributed on a plane; instead, within a given level, they exist everywhere—not on a plane.

    Humankind doesn’t have a term for it, so we’ll just call it a plane; this is the only way we can describe it. Right within that realm—within that layer of particles’ realm—a dimension is formed. Between particles are dimensions, and inside particles themselves are also dimensions. Yet particles can also make up particles of different sizes. Then, among the particles of different sizes that are composed of one particular particle are again dimensions. This is the concept of dimensions that I explained to you last time.

    I’ve always said that between atoms and molecules is a vast dimension. We humans live between the layer of the largest particles made up of molecules, and planets that we see, which are a layer of particles. Humans live in that dimension. A planet is also a particle. Going further, the Milky Way galaxy also has an outer shell. Might the Milky Way galaxy and the countless other galaxies spread throughout the cosmos form a dimension? They’re also interrelated.

    Then beyond the galaxies, there is still another cosmic expanse—then is this cosmic expanse a layer of particles? It sure is a layer of particles. The cosmos is incredibly vast—there’s simply no way to describe how vast it is. Furthermore, three thousand universes like the one we inhabit make up a larger layer of universe, which has an outer shell and is a particle of a universe of an even larger layer. Yet the particles I just talked about was expanding from just one point. As a matter of fact, particles of each layer are spread throughout the entire cosmos.

    Yet even what I just described are only two layers of universes and you already find it mind-boggling. In fact, the future humankind’s science won’t be able to know this, either—humankind will never be able to know things that high-level. Even with the extent we discussed to, that layer of particles is but a speck of dust—a tiny speck of dust—in this vast cosmos. Think about how enormous this cosmos is!”

    ReplyDelete
  31. I think everything might be consciousness. To define further what kind of consciousness I mean, at most basic, everything would have a sense of "I AM" but nothing more. Now, at another level up, perhaps they have a sense of "I am particle" or "I am silicon" or "I am Tree" because the tiniest bits of consciousness seem to always seek to link up with more of their kind and their consciousnesses join to make larger (gestalt) consciousnesses. Atoms make molecules that make enzymes and proteins that make most primitive cell-like structures that combine to make complex cells, that make us, and so forth. We are also combining consciousness now, through the Internet and modern communication, to form a more hive-like communal mind, so once it hits complex organisms like us, it takes a quantum leap, at least so it seems. The Li Hongzhi quote is very similar to what I intuit, yes.

    ReplyDelete
  32. Also read the link you sent, similar vein to his other quote. I don't think a table gets angry, but perhaps it's atoms and molecules are always thinking "I am carbon, I am cellulose..."

    ReplyDelete
  33. Of course, such thoughts would I think be mathematical, a "sense of six-ness" for Carbon. Highly speculative of course lol.

    ReplyDelete
  34. Very intriguing post Saint Brian, I can't recall if I've felt anything like the heart stopping. I have forgotten most experiences I've had with Salvia and would need to go through old posts, maybe there were some things related to the heart. I think your consciousness was so separated from the body that it literally almost died, sorry I know that doesn't sound very pleasant.

    I really wonder what that mass of darkness was, I have come across an overpowering dark looming shadow like presence. It's there in a particular kind of form just not visible and there's always that sense of danger, like I need to be on high alert because that thing could eliminate me in a heartbeat.

    One thing that I do recall eventually at some point the breathing completely stopped almost like something else takes control over the different bodily functions but the breathing never stops in a way that I'm having to catch my breath, it's like the body can stay alive without oxygen.

    I think it was burning mouth who had some experience with pain in the chest which I recall is why he stopped going on these Salvia trips.

    I agree that inanimate objects do have consciousness, and I feel the consciousness of objects is dependent on human consciousness. I've just had too many experience with this that I'm convinced, with Salvia when I'm in that other state inanimate objects start to make quite a bit of noise.

    I have several smartphones and when under a lot of stress these technical devices start to misbehave as if picking up on my vibration otherwise they work perfectly fine.

    There's an article by Elle Collie about communicating with inanimate objects which I will link to later. Her experience has also shown you can communicate with inanimate objects.

    ReplyDelete
  35. "it's like the body can stay alive without oxygen"
    This happens to me all the time. Happened last night. I have to remind myself to breathe, like once a minute.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I bet my heartbeat goes down to 35-40 bpm during these experiences. Very slow. I'm so totally relaxed it's amazing.

      Delete
  36. I really wonder what that mass of darkness was, I have come across an overpowering dark looming shadow like presence. It's there in a particular kind of form just not visible and there's always that sense of danger, like I need to be on high alert because that thing could eliminate me in a heartbeat.
    --------------------------------------------------
    You sensed the Demiurge! It's not the same as the shadow I sensed in this post, it's much larger and malevolent. This shadow seemed to be perhaps 200-300 feet high, not really a mountain, but right next to me it seemed thus. The Demiurge is bigger than our world, but I've seen his face.
    http://salviaspace.blogspot.com/2013/08/i-recently-ran-across-writings-of-one.html

    ReplyDelete
  37. It's not really "malevolent" so much as ***pure*** Yang (Male) energy, no Yin at all. As such, it's horrific indeed, worse than merely malevolent. It seems to keep us here in defiance of the Will of the actual Universe, if such can be said to exist.

    Again, these are strong impressions, not facts of course. But such is what I've sensed.

    ReplyDelete
  38. It seems that the enormous amounts of energy raised on salvia stresses the heart center. It's like perhaps it's a premature development of the Mental/Psychic center, and the heart sometimes struggles to transmit it without stress.

    ReplyDelete
  39. So I've been working on further development of the Heart center so as to be able to 'bear the load' of the rushes of incandescent energy through it.

    ReplyDelete
  40. Paging BRIAN and BURNINGMOUTH. Are you guys still communicado? I'd like to talk to you. I can't find any contact details on either of your blogs.

    I've been looking into this stuff deeply. At this point I've probably read just about every salvia account on the worldwide internet. I don't literally make that claim, of course, but not far off. Alas, legally I can't partake, where I am.

    I am coming to a very deep suspicion that salvia is aggressively interrupting State Vector Reduction (quantum collapse) somewhere in the brain, and the smoker's consciousness (or experienced world) is launched into superposition. Although it is not formally supposed to be the case that quantum activity occurs in the brain, I think this is probably mistaken and that the subjective evidence, including salvia, is large.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Panther - "I've probably read just about every salvia account on the worldwide internet."

      Hah! I know what you mean. I think I've read every available thread regarding quidding Salvia :-)

      Delete
  41. Interesting that you come to that conclusion because that's the identical one that I am coming to.

    If you're on twitter hit me up @AWorldOutOfMind I'm Saint Brian. If not let me know and I'll find some way to get you my email. I don't like to publish it online. The Email I have here on the blog is I think defunct now.

    ReplyDelete
  42. I’m not on twitter. I am on Facebook, but I know that you aren’t. I think an awfully interesting discussion could be had if Burningmouth was enticed to join in as well.

    In my trawling, I’ve discovered literally dozens of accounts that follow the multiple realities theme. While this is definitely a hallucinogen and everything, perhaps even most things, seen under its influence, cannot be overly trusted, still there seems an underlying ontological theme here that I doubt is a coincidence. Sometimes these accounts are similar to yours with multiple versions of self. Sometimes, as in Burningmouth’s experiences, entire other “worlds” are glimpsed. Sometimes people enter these worlds. There are even accounts of people who feel that they “swapped” into them and never actually came back! Even if all, or some, of this is taken as true, there is the question of whether these other alternatives of ourselves, or these other full blown worlds, are “potential only” in some ontic sense, or are actual, right now, to those who seem to dwell there. It ultimately comes down to the question of whether they continue to exist between observations of the salvia-experiencer. Again, in some of Burningmouth’s accounts, he said they felt potential only, but in other accounts, that they included real, self aware beings. The answer to this doesn’t seem straightforward. There may even be a “missing” interpretation of quantum mechanics in which both are somehow true. Perhaps this is why it is difficult to have communion with these other selves or other beings…because *relative to us* they are only “possibly” or “probably” existent, whereas to themselves they may be as real and actual as we are. Likewise, our world, to them, might be only a “possible” or “probable” world, and I mean this literally. This is big speculation of course, but I am getting a vibe along these lines.

    ReplyDelete
  43. That's an interesting line of speculation. Could be.

    ReplyDelete
  44. My last experience with salvia, about eight or nine years ago, (when it was still legal in Texas) went like this. I was alone (my first mistake) and unprepared mentally (no meditation...my second mistake). I took an enormous hit from a bong, and held it in as long as I could. Sipping extra breaths of air into my lungs, until they were at capacity. Immediately upon releasing the breath and breathing a fresh lung full of air, I slumped back on my bed with my eyes closed. The next thing that happened I can only describe as feeling my consciousness stretching to a thin filament, and all around me was a star-scape of twinkling lights. In my state of stretched consciousness, I perceived that each point of light was a different reality, and if I chose I could visit any of them. And then, my unprepared mind betrayed me. I thought, if I go to one of these other realities, will my body die? And with that, I slammed back into reality and endured a forty five minute long panic attack. Haven't been able to bring myself to try it again.

    ReplyDelete
  45. Wow...

    I still get that sometimes, like it's a choice. I just choose not to. I can see where, unprepared, that might cause a panic attack. Salvia is, I think, the most brutal of the entheogens. Science seems to confirm this, since it's the only one (practically) that targets the center of the brain for dysphoria or fear, rather than euphoria or pleasure/happiness.

    ReplyDelete
  46. Interesting that it showed you alternate universe choices as well, in a slightly different way than it typically shows me, but similar enough to some of them that I experience. Same underlying thing, I think, only shown to different people in different ways because each person would perceive something like this in their own way. The similarities are, in that light, still worthwhile and salient.

    ReplyDelete