This is A WORLD OUT OF MIND, my Online Journal where I explore Consciousness and the Ultimate Nature of Reality by the intentional alteration of my own belief structures, using Salvia Divinorum and additional self-altering meditational techniques drawn from Western Ceremonial Magic.

I always attempt to adhere to the scientific method as much as possible in my explorations, and while I often speak of these experiences as if I knew they were Truth, I always consider the alternative, that it is merely self-deception on my part, and think accordingly. Thus I maintain two parallel world views at once, one aspirational and one a safe fallback into standard materialism.

The more I journey into salviaspace, the more I think the former worldview is the correct one, but there is no objective way to prove that to the world, so I'll let you, the reader, decide for yourselves.

-Saint Brian the Godless

Follow me on Twitter @AWorldOutOfMind


Saturday, December 13, 2014

Synesthesia Play Gets Real

Two nights ago, 100X, sitting upright in bed.

I'm doing one-point meditation on a point between my two eyes, which seems to raise energy in my body. I see a bright star above my head, a channel of bright light running down my spine, and what looks like a red giant star in my general stomach/perineum area. I sense this as similar to electrical currents running through me.

There is a pale bluish-green field around me, basically covering my whole field of view as I sit in stillness. Like an oval green bubble perhaps. This simmers with tiny sparkles of light similar to static on a television screen. I can see this field and also feel it somehow, in a hard-to-describe manner.

I turn my head to the right and raise my left hand, which is therefore out of my field of view completely. I can clearly see my raised left hand with my skin. Well, perhaps not my skin, but with my whole body, as if my whole body could sense light like the retinas of my eyes, only not nearly as sensitively. I begin moving my fingers in a random manner. I can see them moving. I hold up different numbers of fingers and marvel at how clearly I can see them. I continue to play around with this kinesthesia effect for a while, my mind becoming more and more interested in it, and more and more quiet as a result.

Suddenly I noticed that I could feel my fingers moving inside my head, physically inside my head. I've noticed this phenomena many times before, that any physical movement of any part of my body can be felt in the mind as a "wriggling" sensation, and also in various random parts of the rest of the body as if the feeling is mirrored all over.

So I've noticed that moving my left index finger (for example) results in a wriggling feeling behind my left eye/forehead area, the next finger slightly further to the left, and so on.

While doing this, something new came to my attention. I'm sensing fluctuations in the enclosing green field when I move my fingers. As I play around with that effect, I actually start to see, all over that green field's left side, small shadowy images of my moving right hand! There were many such images, many smaller shadow-hands moving on that green "surface." It was as if it were the wall of an aquarium filled with dense greenish smoke and there were small people inside the tank touching it with their hands. That best describes it visually.

All the hands were moving in a mirror image of my still-moving left hand. More and more of them appeared, causing the effect to expand toward my right side to encompass the entire greenish field. I could see them, and I could also feel them as a moving field of "wriggling" sensations, almost like they were all my actual hand and I was simply feeling them as normal hands. As this area of moving images of my actual moving hand proceeded across my field of view toward my wife, she made a startled noise in her sleep. So I stopped completely. I don't really like waking her up, nor is she very fond of it either.

Then I began again, and again the "field of hands" moved across my vision to my right, got close to my wife, and again she made a noise in her sleep.

I repeated this two more times, and got two more noises.

On the next attempt, as the "field of hands" approached my wife, our dog, which was asleep near her, awakened and started choking and coughing, a lot. More of a violent retching actually. He's a pug, so that's hardly an impossible thing to happen, but the fact that it was so perfectly "on cue" and timed at the precise moment that the field reached him, was enough for me to stop these experiments for the evening. Of course, wouldn't you know it, the pug woke up my wife anyhow.


154 comments:

  1. Another interesting read, Saint Brian.

    I've never really experienced the kinesthesia you describe, and it's fascinating. My experiences have been more of synesthesia...

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  2. Agh. Believe it or not, I meant to say synesthesia, and have corrected it. Cant believe I missed that. It still kinda applied since kinesthesia is our 'feel' of our own bodies, but I was going for 'synesthesia' in the title and goofed. Oh well. Thanks for pointing that out.

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  3. Hi St. Brian,

    I wasn't actually pointing out any goof on your behalf. Based on my interpretation of your post, I think that kinesthesia seems pretty accurate... or perhaps "hyper-kinesthesia." (?)

    When I think of synesthesia I think of a time, some 30 years ago, when I ingested an insane amount of a certain species of cacti and was able to "smell" the color of a beautiful amethyst crystal I found locally and "see", open eyed, music (Frank Zappa, if I remember correctly) as a field of morphing geometries of color. Talk about Brain Radio Retuning....

    Never really experienced this with Salvia, but I have experienced a sort of kinesthesia depending on how deep I go. Most of my experiences with Salvia have been at the "I" level on the Siebert scale so I spend the majority of time clinging to the sides of my stained glass barrel while going over a Niagara Falls of technicolor taffy....

    Regards,
    TTM

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  4. "Well, perhaps not my skin, but with my whole body, as if my whole body could sense light like the retinas of my eyes"

    I found this part really fascinating. I feel the perception with which I sense things in a Salvia trip uses the entire body or sensory awareness in a very special way.

    "Suddenly I noticed that I could feel my fingers moving inside my head" I have had this but tend to forget it happens. There have been times when I've seen Salvia people moving in the walls around me, the same movements could be felt inside the head.

    I've been meaning to use some of the meditations you've listed on your blog, at the moment practicing third-eye focus but without Salvia.

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  5. You have shared a psychoactive experience that how to get salvia on your body and how it affect our mind that thing is really unbelievable. It is really a powerful drug as I understand from your views.

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  6. Rosie's sellin salvia.... if we hadn't figured that out lol....

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  7. I want to start my comment with Einstein's quote:

    "Everything is relative"

    Everybody knows it, but what does "everything" mean? Surely not something relative, more 'likely' the absolute absoluteness (and there is no 'likely', because there is nothing like the absolute, except the absoluteness itself).

    Let's continue:
    The most perfect definition of the absolute is nothing more than a simple circle, because nothing else than PI is required to contain everything, really everything. Maybe infinty is equal to absoluteness.

    Let's continue:
    What does everything definitely contains without becoming concrete?
    Exactly, itself! Everything can only be everything, when everything contains everything (itself). This is the beginning of duality, this is the solution of the chicken or the egg causality dilemma. That everything contains itself is out of the scope of causality, it's acausal and cannot be understood through mind. The egg cannot exists without the chicken and vice versa. The cause cannot exists without the effect and vice versa. It also solves the PI and square 2 problem (is the infinity sequence of PI part of the infinity sequence of square 2 or vice versa??)!

    Maybe the very first concept that exists, is the concept to be everything, the direct consequence is than, that everything relative to everything (to itself). Please see the first two circles of the flower of life, I think this describes exactly the same.

    Let's continue:
    EVERYTHING IS ONE and that ONE tries to start to understand itself! But before the ONE is able to understand itself 'properly', a self-definition (through a concept) is required! But what happens if the ONE defines itself? CHANGE!!!! The ONE becomes the definition and of course a new definition after the change is required, based on the definition before. Reality is nothing else than a chain of concepts created through the ONE and of course regarding to the ONE, than nothing else exists.

    I had a thought, based on this thought you created a chain of subsequent thoughts. After a short time the origin thought is out of your awareness (but still exists in your subconscious).
    But than in the very next moment the whole chain of thoughts was completely forgotten. The origin thought was forgotten by my subconscious which results in the decay of the chain! Sometimes I was able to reconstruct the chain, but I recognized this is only possible if the very origin thought is still somewhere, but in this case after the decay of the origin thought, I recognized that the chain is forgotten forever.

    It's like reality is a pyramid of concepts. With the point of awareness at the peak of the pyramid. Everything you do at the peak of the pyramid affects the whole pyramid of course, because there is only the ONE (correspondence principle). Without the knowledge you are the ONE or EVERYTHING, being would not be possible. In our subconscious is the concept of the ONE. Of course out of awareness, it's pure MADNESS.

    Thanks

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    1. Correction:
      Referring to correspondence principle is not correct, I mean the THE PRINCIPLE OF CORRESPONDENCE (the seven hermetic principles):
      http://www.hermeticsource.info/the-seven-hermetic-principles.html

      ---------------------

      "Time only exists that so not everything happens at once"

      Delete
    2. And of course I mean square 'root' 2

      Delete
  8. Hello Dafu,
    Well, you've shared a lot of concepts that I am not familiar with here. I kinda lost you a bit.

    Einstein saw that matter and energy are related, as in relative, and so are space and time. I think he was a bit less mystical in that than you are being here, no?

    Let me offer something else here. There are two possibilities, either this reality is based in consciousness, as in consciousness being the ground of all being, or it isn't. Right?

    Now, if it is, I see two other possibilities. Possibly more, but at lease two. These two are:

    1. Matter and energy and space and time are forms of consciousness. An atom is a tiny unit of consciousness. Consciousness has differentiated into that which we see as matter and energy and space and time. It has evolved over vast spans of time to look just like real matter would, since we expect it to. And so forth...

    2. Absolutely nothing we perceive is real in any way; it's all just a dreamlike state wherein we all participate, a consensual dream if you will. So atoms are illusory, as is literally everything. Not one thing is real except the self. We totally deceive ourselves into believing in things like atoms and bricks and air and mice and so forth.

    So in the first, atoms (and everything else) are real but are "made of" some kind of consciousness.

    In the second, they're not real at all, nothing is real, it's all just a grand illusion we've all made up together to satisfy our need for permanence and so forth.

    Which one do you think is most likely? I lean towards the second one. All is illusory.

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    1. Hi Brian,

      I would also prefer the second one. Matter is just the way how we perceive specific quantum field interactions.

      By the way, at christmas evening I had an experience which fits in you post 'The darkest interpretation'. I was writing with a friend, when I suddenly realized 'goddammit, I'm writing with myself'. This experience was absolutely horrifying. I went home, sitting in my room and don't know what to do. I wanted to interact with reality somehow, to get the realization of this truth out of my head.

      But I disagree with the purpose of reality to just to forget. The ONE doesn't know that it exists. The ONE is not aware about itself. Knowledge, existence and even the mind is just illusory. The ONE is just aware about nothing.

      Oblivion begins with the interactivity within reality.

      Additionally, there is no purpose of reality. The creation is not something which happened once, it's more like an ultimately live process. Reality is the representation of your current philosophy of life. Look in the mirror and tell me what you see.

      Of course, when you start to experience the root of your being with the mind you have, madness becomes real, so real like the mind. Madness is somehow the opponent of the mind. But one cannot exist without the other.

      What do you think?

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    2. It's up to 'us' to recognize the ONE :)

      Delete
  9. I don't know if I truly understand you actually. Perhaps it is true that the One is unaware and therefore wasn't 'trying to forget' it is alone, although at the time that was the *strong* impression that I got of it. Perhaps we are the ones that deep down somehow know we are one and that one is utterly alone, hence we always strive to *focus* on our made-up reality as our escape from that knowledge.

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  10. A friend of mine has the opinion, that everything is just a negation of the nothing. The nothing negated itself and so on ...

    I think it's pointless to discuss the logical beginning of all being. No it's not only pointless, it's just wrong.

    Reality and being (I believe reality can only be with the appropriate realization, information can only exist, when someone is aware about it) starts with you.

    My assumption is, that 'you are'. You always were and always will be, that's the point. Reality springs out of 'you are'. You are everything or nothing are just concepts, which you are creating, but those concepts springs also from the 'you are'. It's like 'you are', but never be able to understand what you are and that makes reality itself unfathomable and infinity deep.

    Reality requires realization and who else but you should realize it?

    Of course you can argue that your parents existed before you, but beware: mind/reason is deceptive. Mind is also just a product of 'you are' and is not able to fulfill your philosophy of life.

    You can understand this very well, when you realize that every conversation you have, is only a self conversation.

    What do you think?

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  11. What do I think? You tell me, lol!

    No, I kid...

    I see how that may be true, but it does lead me to the idea that I'm the only real person in existence and so forth, which I try to avoid.

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  12. A person is a concept, but you are without definition, without concept., but as long as you think you are person, reality keeps going on. You cannot be without a reference to 'something'.

    Okay, 'you are' is somehow misleading, let's use 'I' and 'I am':

    'I am' is with definition (example: I'm a human) and arises from the 'I', which is without definition.

    'I' = Brahman
    'I am' = Atman

    As long as the 'I' think it's something, reality can be

    You will never understand what this 'I' (YOU!!) really is, because that 'I' has somehow to be, to get experiences. While being you can recognize that 'I', but you are not able to understand it!! Knowledge requires experience and experience requires an 'I am'.

    Analyse yourself, all of you, because reality was never without the 'I' in you!

    'You (that 'I') are only confined by the walls you build yourself'.

    You don't have to avoid this, your avoiding yourself, but of course if you want to stop me, just let me know.

    "Have to be alone is the hardest, be able to be alone , the best"

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  13. http://critique-of-pure-interest.blogspot.de/2015/02/what-is-dialectical-nihilism.html

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  14. I've only just started reading your blog some fascinating accounts some of which I can relate. I wonder have you tried programming salvia with music or text before? Goldfrapp - Black cherry album makes for a fascinating salvia experience. N

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  15. I'm primarily interested in exploring things that seem anomalous to me, things that no 'mere' hallucinogen should be able to do, like when I experience multiple "me's" all at once, like an overlapping cloud of me's each sitting in their own version of my room, but I feel present in all of them at one time. Or when I feel a 'wave' of 'force' go through the room and my wife wakes up or talks in her sleep when it hits her. I've found music to be overstimulating for me, same with TV, although a paused image can be ok.

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  16. Dafu, I always think of Brahman as "I am" but nothing more, not "I am Brian" or "I am human" just "I am" the basic sense of identity, of being *something* but nothing beyond that.

    So there's "The All," "The One," 'Brahman," The "I AM," or one of my favorites, "The Overmind."

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  17. Hi. I thought I'd scan in to your reality-world. Yes... I've finally perfected inter dimensional travel.
    Just got back from Wedge63a2, on the outer banks of our local gravity wheel.

    (Sorry about that^)

    Anyway, I was going to post a comment on your other blog, but I saw a sage brush roll by.

    I've spent the last few months reading some really good books that expose Paul as a true villainous NT writer. I learned just how much he and the gospel writers were selling out the Jews while sucking Roman uncircumcised cock. Those NT writers did a number on the Jews.

    Now I'm reading about how the Temple Mount in Jerusalem where the Muslim Dome of the Rock stands, is not the actual spot where Solomon's and Herod's Temple once stood. The book claims that the "Wailing Wall' is actually part of the fort where the Roman soldiers were stationed. The Jews rocking back and forth at the Wailing Wall are actually praying at the wall of a Roman fort.
    Oh, the irony.

    So anyway. Sadly, salvia interest is now trending just under #LarryStorchisstillalive.
    There's nothing better than coming down from a salvia trip with the realization that you've just seen how True Reality works. Alas, I haven't had that experience in almost two years. All I have now is weed and Tech House music.
    I just PMd Metanoia on enth network.
    Later....................

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  18. So glad to see you dude! Wondered where you'd been! Was a little worried even. I haven't been posting here lately because A. Harder for me to trip out again and B. Waiting for something really different.
    I still get the multiverse thing a bit, and a lot of small but interesting stuff... Even wake the wife every now and then.

    Still take SD almost nightly, but sometimes in small amts so I just zone on it, no trip.

    I will write something soon... my interest is lagging since I've been busy destroying my ego, might have gone too far, lol.

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  19. I did know that Paul was responsible for much of the bad bullshit in the NT. Don't recall the details tho.

    Funny about the wall... a Roman fort, lol. Fucking great. Another way religion makes fools of men.

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  20. My other blog? I haven't been there in months. Pretty much dead.

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  21. There were a lot of comments on your other blog. It was very popular. The only way my blog will ever come alive is if, deep in the future, my ideas about parallel Earth-worlds turn out to be true. I put the odds on that at less than one percent.

    I decided to log in to entheorgen-network.net and post a new subject in the salvia section. Twelve hours later I clicked on it and there was still only ONE view. One view in 12 hours. I deleted it. Screw it.

    So I've been vaping my legal weed and listening to house music. I can only stand house music when I'm stoned; and then I have to use ear buds to get the full stereo effect. Otherwise it's just pumf-tish pumf-tish pumf-tish.

    So these days basically everything boils down to global warming and ISIS. Our reality consists of crazy, head chopping Arab millennials, melting glaciers, and the state of California running out of water. Oh yeah. Throw in a growing sense of racial animosity.

    Speaking of enlightenment, even though we weren't speaking of enlightenment: I signed up for Amazon Prime and watched that HBO show "Enlightened' with Laura Dern. I really liked it, but HBO cancelled it after 2 seasons.

    That's about it. I guess the only significant revolution on the horizon is 3D printing. Too bad I don't know of any 3D printing 'Google-type' stocks to buy now.

    I PMd Metanoia to let him know I'm still alive.

    There's a dvd about the life of Dogen that's really faithful to zen enlightenment. You can watch a free version on youtube, but the resolution isn't great. Later............

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  22. Don't let it get to you, man. World's screwed up for sure but hopefully pendulum will swing in other direction soon.
    So, you can't do salvia anymore? Heart?

    Really good to hear from you again. Try to stay in touch if you can!

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  23. Yeah. I've never experienced chest pain except while in the act of tripping with extract. And this wasn't mild chest pain; this was "call 911" chest pain. I could probably get away with smoking plain leaf.

    But more importantly, I never experienced a true break-through into the Matrix world while tripping. I would get glimpses, but glimpses aren't enough. I wanted lock-solid contact with intelligent, self aware beings from another world. I guess you could say that I'm not mentally unbalanced enough to accept my hallucinations as "scripture", so to speak.

    Basically, the world around us is fucked up, and if beings from other worlds exist, they are no more active in our world than say... bigfoot. So until outside beings become more legitimate than bigfoot, then I'm going to have to stay on the sidelines. :)

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    1. Try chewing the leaf. I recently tried that again, kept it up for a half hour or so, kept adding leaves to my mouth... and had a very nice experience, almost tripping out even. So it does work.

      Delete
    2. Glad that you are chewing the leaf. It took me some time to get used to it but now I need very small amounts for long trips. I find it difficult smoking the extract, the sensations I initially felt were very similar to severe heart burn although it has calmed down now. I don't think I'll be picking up my pipe anytime soon.

      Delete
  24. I went through a period where I got chest pain, and even fibrillations. The smoking was affecting my vagus nerve, and through it my heartbeat.
    One night when I was sick, I clocked my own heartbeat at 300+ bpm. When I looked that up later on it suggested that the human heart couldn't beat much faster than that, and when it gets that high you need to go to the hospital. I shrugged it off.
    Then I quit smoking cigarettes (1 month now and counting) and all that went away. So I'm back on the salvia.

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  25. Hi Brian. New commenter here, I've been reading your blog. Haven't had the courage to do this stuff (bit of a chicken really) but I have a lot of interest in the subject, and some of your observations here.

    I have a couple of questions or thought-seeds for you. These tend to relate to the "multiple versions of you" scenario.

    1) Have any of your experiences given you a sense of what might actually happen at death? I understand that one could be imagined to "switch," at some final moment, to a universe or version where you aren't killed in the crash, or the fall...etc. But do you think that would go on indefinitely. I mean, what about extreme old age? Do we swap out to a universe-version in which you last for just a few minutes longer, and then eventually just a second or two longer? Do you see what I mean?

    2) Have you ever gone up that tunnel of "alternate selves" to radically different "yous." By this I mean "yous" that don't just have their foot pointing to the left instead of to the right, or "yous"
    that are about to cough or aren't (though that was a very interesting account by the way) but "yous" in which you made significantly different life decisions...didn't get married, married a different person...got that place/job/opportunity instead of being passed up for it, etc (that kind of thing). And I guess part of my question is, if that is possible, why folks on salvia don't choose to "step into" those favored realities and just not come back? Is there a barrier to that (don't worry I'm not thinking of doing this...as I've said I'm too nervous to take the stuff anyway...but yeah, there is a part of me that thinks I would be *tempted* to do that. But then, we don't have large numbers of reports of people who passed away under salvia...stepping into better versions of their lives. It just seems a slight paradox to me. Maybe you could share your thoughts?

    3) Partly related to the "darkest interpretation" thing. I've had thoughts like that too, but for the life of me I cannot imagine why (under ANY version of the "all is one" idea) that I would want to enter into an unhappy life whereby I *drew attention to the fact* by causing myself to ask existential questions like "why is life so crappy?" and "why does it have to be this way?" Surely the best way, if that scenario were true, would be for the one to bury itself in utterly distracting immersion...those times in life when we are enjoying ourselves so much that we just don't think of anything like that. Again, just my thoughts here.

    I have some more thoughts too, but that'll do for now, I think. Don't let the blog go dead!

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  26. panther
    I'll throw in my 2 cents:

    #1
    Based on my most intense salvia trips, It would seem that the transition into death might be very 'cordial' or effortless. I think that many trippers forget to breathe when tripping intensely. Breathing becomes a chore that should be limited to 'those' people in the material world. It's possible that beings will be around to transition to the other world (whatever that is).

    For those into the Tibetan Book of the Dead, I personally don't see much of a connection between salvia trips and that. TBotD has a lot of typical mythology stuff,

    #2
    Good question, and the type of question that needs to be asked.

    "why folks on salvia don't choose to "step into" those favored realities and just not come back? Is there a barrier to that (don't worry I'm not thinking of doing this." --panther

    I tried stepping into one of those realities and I was repelled by chest pain. My vibe was that the heart is somehow connected to the material world whereas the mind is free flowing. Also a professor of physics on another website kept saying that it is impossible under current ideas about quantum physics for two parallel universes to be active at the same time. He seemed to poopoo the idea of entering a parallel world without some sort of massive annihilation occurring. But quantum physics is open to new thepries, so I believe that it is potentially possible to choose which reality we want to live in.

    Also, intense feelings of gravitation occurr during trips on extract. The massive gravitation might act as a way of creating impenetrable borders between different worlds. And, it's possible that advanced beings outside our world have already laid out the structure of our reality, and made it impossible for us to venture outside our prison walls. :)

    My big (possibly wrong) theory is that there are a multitude of different Earth-worlds operating actively alongside this Earth-world which we are currently sharing. I think it's possible that all these different Earth-worlds could eventually be used as templates for us to pick and choose from. It makes sense in an evolutionary sense.

    I've read thousands of salvia related comments in the last 6 years, and I've seen no real evidence that people can enter into a parallel world for more than a few seconds (if at all). But it's a fascinating subject. and it's a subject that you won't find much interest in outside of salvia message boards.

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    1. Cool. Thanks for that. Love your take on it.

      Delete
  27. Wow. I could spend two hours answering you.

    First of all, glad you finally wrote.

    Let me try to be concise and answer you:
    1) Have any of your experiences given you a sense of what might actually happen at death? I understand that one could be imagined to "switch," at some final moment, to a universe or version where you aren't killed in the crash, or the fall...etc. But do you think that would go on indefinitely. I mean, what about extreme old age? Do we swap out to a universe-version in which you last for just a few minutes longer, and then eventually just a second or two longer? Do you see what I mean?

    -Why yes, I think about this all the time. Has it ever occurred to you that if we're a multiversal organism, we can just go back down our own timelines and live from any point in our past, but go down a different path? Since there's an infinite number of paths to take, we could spend forever living one life in infinite fullness. So I could die at 87, and pick up where I was at 22, but do different things from that point.
    OR, death could be real, and I could just get to feel all my "lights" of consciousness all throughout my being "wink out" one by one till there's nothing left of me.
    (I've seen that one too)

    2) Have you ever gone up that tunnel of "alternate selves" to radically different "yous." By this I mean "yous" that don't just have their foot pointing to the left instead of to the right, or "yous"
    that are about to cough or aren't (though that was a very interesting account by the way) but "yous" in which you made significantly different life decisions...didn't get married, married a different person...got that place/job/opportunity instead of being passed up for it, etc (that kind of thing). And I guess part of my question is, if that is possible, why folks on salvia don't choose to "step into" those favored realities and just not come back? Is there a barrier to that (don't worry I'm not thinking of doing this...as I've said I'm too nervous to take the stuff anyway...but yeah, there is a part of me that thinks I would be *tempted* to do that. But then, we don't have large numbers of reports of people who passed away under salvia...stepping into better versions of their lives. It just seems a slight paradox to me. Maybe you could share your thoughts?

    -I have never accessed any of my lives that are radically different from my own. Tiny differences yes, I can see objects in the room shifting in position for instance, feel my hand in two places or more at once, that sort of thing.

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  28. Here's where it gets tricky to describe. I *sense* that when I'm experiencing "multiple me's" in a superimposed cloud, that they're all versions of me that are virtually identical but only slightly different. My "cloud" is a "local" cloud, in that all the "me's" in it are superimposed for a reason, that they're nearly the same. I sense outliers too, farther away from me, not in my cloud... even thought I AM THEM, TOO... and then I sense OTHER CLOUDS of "me's" farther away, a few feet, a few yards.. and keep in mind they're all versions of me doing salvia and meditating at the time! They're all in the same position in the room, but the rooms themselves are also superimposed, so hence the perception of distance when rooms are not as perfectly superimposed... So really radically different versions of me not doing salvia at the time? They're really "far away." Not far away in space, but in PROBABILITY. I sense the other clouds as farther away in distance, but it's really probability, not spatial distance. This is complex. Very hard to describe. This is the first time I've tried.
    As to just dying on salvia and going into another reality, I don't think that's it. I don't think it's that simple, as in, I think it's a lot more complex than that. In the case of the cough thing, I was sensing alternate "me's" but all in the present moment, right? So what if I was really sensing not alternate present moments, but alternate Next Future Moments? All of which equally valid, but only one of which being the next actual moment? That's what it felt like it was. I sensed a bunch of next moments and selected the next moment in which I wasn't coughing. Now, being "out there" in salvia space and finding a plane that you prefer, say a better version of your life, and getting to stay there... hmmm. I'm not sure that is possible. If it is, it's very uncommon. First of all, I'm not sure how many people that take salvia experience multiversal effects like I do. I've read accounts where someone wants to stay out there on a trip, but some being comes along and tells them they can't do that yet.
    I've had the thought that any alternate planes must by logic be harder to access the more different they are, so maybe we can only shift between next proximate moments and not whole timelines of reality.

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  29. 3) Partly related to the "darkest interpretation" thing. I've had thoughts like that too, but for the life of me I cannot imagine why (under ANY version of the "all is one" idea) that I would want to enter into an unhappy life whereby I *drew attention to the fact* by causing myself to ask existential questions like "why is life so crappy?" and "why does it have to be this way?" Surely the best way, if that scenario were true, would be for the one to bury itself in utterly distracting immersion...those times in life when we are enjoying ourselves so much that we just don't think of anything like that. Again, just my thoughts here.

    -Sure. Ok. Well, I got the very strong impression that the ONE didn't plan on becoming the many. That it fled into psychosis out of incredible desperation. That it fractured into the many out of sheer terror. This terror is hard to describe, even though I felt it and you've read the description. By comparison, a death is a pleasant interlude, because at least it makes you feel real. Also, what would be the expected result if an insane being fractured UNCONTROLLABLY into many personalities all interacting with each other? Would it be happy happy joy joy? I doubt it. All I got out of it is, the ONE is literally FLEEING into the many, so the one single solitary criterion for the many as designated by the terrified ONE is what? What would the ONE need the many to be for it? REAL. NOT A DREAM.
    And yet, it is a dream, as is all consciousness. So the ONE, in the guise of the many, has only one thing it INSISTS that reality be. REAL. Solid. Consistent. In NO WAY DREAMLIKE. So the ONE, in it's terror, designed a reality that is terrified to be seen as not real. That cannot be seen as unreal, or the viewer loses their sanity. All of us are terrified of having reality suddenly become unreal. I mean, how would you feel if the sky fell one day and all you could see and sense of reality was split in two like a chasm, top to bottom, right there in front of you? Terror, right? So it must consistently be seen as undoubtedly real.
    What prevents a person from seeing evidence right in front of them that it's not real? Sheer terror. It's not that the evidence isn't there, either! It's that we're so terrified of it that we've learned to ignore all the "glitches in the matrix."

    Ok, I'm free-associating here. Probably logical errors... I'm typing fast and furious... lol. I'll check back and write more later.

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    Replies
    1. I think that the best thing our reality can be for the ONE, is distracting. DRAMA. Life and death, and all the mess.

      Delete
  30. Burningmouth makes good points too. I've had the "prohibitive chest pain" on several occasions and I don't think many people would try to push through an attack of angina. Not when as soon as you stop trying, the chest pain stops instantly, and when you try again, it picks up where it left off.

    I think in order to access a vastly different plane, you have to destroy your "anchor" to this one. Your life. Your body. It seems like that's the price.

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    Replies
    1. I've only smoked salvia twice, the first time was half a gram of plain leaf and the second was .35 grams of plain leaf, each time with a bong and torch. The first time I smoked was about a week and a half ago and the second time was last night. Each time I experienced a pain in the center of my chest as if someone was pulling my chest hair repeatedly. Not only that, but each time during the visuals my eyes hurt too, as if they were pulsating or something. Can you or burningmouth offer any possible explanation?
      Have you ever heard of astral projecting? It's basically an out of body experience and your soul has a line to it's body. My theory is that the chest pain is your soul trying to leave your body, because to me it felt like someone was pulling on it amd the pain was located right where the line would connect to your body

      Delete
  31. I have some more thoughts too, but that'll do for now, I think. Don't let the blog go dead!
    ---------
    Don't worry, I won't! Just a small break lately, I'll write again soon.

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  32. I forgot the one time I can recall that I saw an alternate version of myself and it was radically different. The angina stuff reminded me. It's in my "STRANGE STUFF" post. The Manuscript.

    Reality tore open in front of me and I was holding a document in my left hand, in that other space, remember?
    Ah, heck with it, here it is:

    -The Manuscript
    In an eyes-open vision, standing in my room facing my dresser, I see a rip in reality happen right in front of my chest, maybe a foot away from my chest, perhaps a foot wide and a couple long, aligned long-axis vertical. Through it, through that rent in space, I see my own left arm and hand holding a single page of paper as if to read it. I could also make out a room into which I peered, but with little detail except a sense of antiquity, of age. My actual left arm was at my side, as was my right, however in that room in that reality as seen through that rip, I *was* the person holding that document. It was my arm. I was looking out another man’s eyes, but it seemed to be a version of me, albeit a different version.
    It was seemingly from a manuscript or perhaps some old official document. It had a rubric at the beginning. Perhaps even an old Bible page. The writing was hard to see, so I focused my eyes more willfully upon it, concentrating on the act of focusing them and putting intention and will into the effort. The words started to come into focus, and just as I was beginning to be able to read them, I felt cardiac arrhythmia once again, as in the previous account above. Another forbidden thing? I had to be sure, so cautiously I once again began to focus my eyes on the words on that page, and once again, the heart flutter. Then, as if someone had explained it to me all in one instant, in a direct insight I realized that this was the choice that I had before me. Focus on that reality, and die to this one as you *go* to that one.
    I made my choice. I’m here, aren’t I?

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  33. I got the strong impression that the reality in that other room was vastly different, maybe even almost unrecognizably so. As in, it felt like medieval almost, like non-technological, and yet it seemed to have a version of me in it, and I got to look out his (my?) eyes there for a second or two.

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  34. Hi Brian and Burningmouth. Thanks for the conversation. Heck, so much to think about in order to reply! Let me ponder if for an hour or so and get back to you.

    ReplyDelete
  35. I'll have to talk to you tomorrow then, going to bed.

    One other thing. If you've read this blog you might know that in my life, the strangeness started with synchronicities. Coincidences.

    I'm very used to them now.

    So after writing to you before about how we might go back down our lifelines to a previous point etc, I was looking for a book to read on my Kindle. I was searching science fiction. Not fantasy mind you. Space stuff. I vary in my tastes but like SF and fantasy best for escapist reading.

    So I do a search for SF, and happen to see this title: "The First Fifteen Lives Of Harry August."

    So I check it out, and it's about what we were talking about. He keeps going back down his timeline.

    Just started reading it. When this happens I like to go with it.

    ReplyDelete
  36. Brian (and Burning)
    I guess what interests me most is the “many realities” thing. I know that other explanations can be conceived for these things (of course they can) but let me hang with that for now.

    I liked your description of going back down your own timeline, and then branching differently, although a question arises to whether that would ever involve any memory of being in anything other than that branch you were now in. And if it doesn’t, how that would be different from just that branch living its life anyway, on its own terms, if you see what I mean (all branches taken as literally real for now).

    That brings me to the accounts with disturbing the sleep of your wife, and your dog. Very interesting accounts. It would be an interesting idea to attempt objective verification of them though. I say this not because I don’t believe you, but only because it would be useful to eliminate this possibility: that what we think we are doing under the influence of a drug isn’t actually what we are doing. Eliminate the possibility that you aren’t making a low, sinister noise that disturbs your dog, or even that you aren’t getting out of the chair and nudging him with your foot. I certainly don’t think that you are, but I still think it is worth being sure.

    Anyway, back to the more interesting stuff. I know that you said in one experiment you saw a number of panels and one in particular in which you saw your wife stirring to wake up. You then moved into that panel. Again, taking the “parallel realities are objectively real” option for now, this seems to me to pose a number of tricky questions. Here, I’m not quite getting the distinction between swapping over to a “nearby” reality and one that is “radically different,” though I understand that the second case may be harder to achieve. Here’s what I wonder about though: if you really did select that particular panel (reality) among many, and then moved into it, merging with it, what happened to the “you” in the original frame of reference, in the reality from which you began the experiment?

    For that matter, what happened to the wife and the dog in that reality? Did he (the “you” of that reality) die when you merged with the alternative reality, the one in which your wife stirred to wake up? Did that entire reality cease to exist? Or did the “you” of that frame of reference carry on oblivious, coming down from salvia in its own frame of reference, convinced that he had failed to get his wife to stir yet again. But then, if that’s the case, who is the “you” that jumped rails from one track to another? Who is *that*?? If both lives continue regardless, who is this third person, the “track hopper.” Likewise, what happened to the “you” in the world where your wife stirred,as you merged with that reality. Did you displace him? Was it Burning who mentioned displacing someone in a similar incident ten years ago?

    ReplyDelete
  37. Brian (and Burningmouth)

    The dog thing is also really interesting. I understand, I think, that you said you went from believing you were exerting an energy on them, to believing you were selecting between alternate realities. I can certainly see how that works with causing your wife to stir…and that’s definitely something we “should not” be able to do, as you put in, in this kind of universe. Convincing yourself not to cough, possibly…but not willing another human to awaken by sheer mental energy. But I can’t make sense of the idea that there was simply a “nearby available world” where your dog just went into the corner and cowered, for no reason. That definitely seems like a reaction to something it senses, and not just (“just!”) a selection from a reality menu.

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  38. Although I have not done salvia, I am fascinated by these things because sometimes when I am in places I seem to have haunting feelings of the “lives” lived in those places…rarely,this does not happen a lot.And again,there is that sense that “I” or a version of me is involved. Of course, this could all be delusion or imagination…the mind plays its tricks…but if it does it’s an awfully alluring trick, and oddly time consuming. I mean, when this happens, I could spend a long time sitting in front ofa building or a place and wonder “what *is* this that I am feeling? It’s never in the way of detail, and oddly it’s always a positive sort of vibe. But always just a very generalized or uber-sense of a life, none of the details. Almost like just a “feeling-tone” kind of summary of an entire existence or a life lived. Weird.

    ReplyDelete
  39. Okay, I’m a little skeptical about the Great Aloneness of the Cosmic One thing. I’m not pooing on the general idea, but many versions of that are possible. I just have trouble with the idea that a vast and impersonal cosmic principle, especially one which is essentially everything and for which there is no “other” could readily form even a conception of “loneliness.” Unless of course we imagine this cosmic principal as an actual entity or being, like religion does, but I’ve always been wary of that.

    The same goes for fear, and probably other animal emotions too. It seems to me that fear is too much of a hormone-driven, physical, animal-survival thing that’s been wired in to our neurons by evolution for a specific purpose (if you don’t run from that tiger, you’ll die, kind of thing). I’m a bit dubious about the One experiencing that kind of fear, or indeed whether it even makes sense to speak of a “cosmic principle” having fear of any kind. Not saying it’s impossible. It just seems to me unlikely.

    There was a woman recently studied by scientists, because she was unable to be afraid. A part of her brain, the amygdala, had withered away because of a disease or virus. She’s had a gun and stuff pulled on her but just shrugged it off. But if something like that can be turned off so easily just by shrivelling a little part of the brain, it’s hard to imagine it being possible with no brain at all.

    ***

    I think you mentioned that you read J.D. Arthur’s books. For some reason, if I remember rightly, his experiences don’t tend to feature alternative realities so much as encounters with the dead.

    I was interested in your account where you experienced arhythmia when trying to read the book that you saw in another apparent reality frame, and I think that Burningmouth mentioned having chest pain when trying to step into another world-possibility. Again, it would be good to reality test something like that, say by wearing a heart monitor, possibly one with some kind of record function. I say this, again, not because I disbelieve you, but it’s not uncommon in the tripping literature, as I’m sure you know, for people to be utterly convinced that they were in the last throes of death, only to come back down and discover that they had actually been physically fine right the way through, perhaps even talking weird stuff to their sitter at the very time they thought themselves in the last pangs of dying. That doesn’t necessarily prove that they weren’t, of course, still, it’s an odd kind of thing.

    With the seeing-the-book episode and the arythmia, it’s almost as if, at the point where you were at risk of acquiring actual knowledge that wasn’t part of the legitimate information-evolution of your “home” reality, a kind of self-protective process swung into action. Perhaps protecting your life. Perhaps protecting this reality from being ‘wounded’ or ‘denatured’ by foreign learnings that weren’t somehow “earned” in the legitimate progress of efforts won in this world. Anyway, it’s late and I’m rambling. I look forward to your further thoughts.

    ReplyDelete
  40. Wow.......
    I mean Sheeeee-iitttttttt
    I mean Dayyyy-uuummmmmn.
    "Houston. Tranquility Base here. The eagle has landed."

    You guys have made some good comments. I might need 24 hours to absorb this.

    It started when I flipped past "60 Minutes". Neil Degrasse Tyson was being showcased. I eyed my (legal) weed, and I regretted not vaping before the Tyson segment. After the segment, I then vaped up and watched "Theory of Everything" for the first time. It pretty much blew me away. After the movie I clicked on St Brian's site, and here I am.

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  41. My "cloud" is a "local" cloud, in that all the "me's" in it are superimposed for a reason, that they're nearly the same. I sense outliers too, farther away from me, not in my cloud... even thought I AM THEM, TOO…-------St. Brian

    Was it Heisenberg who came up with the ‘probability wave’ theory? I can see a bunch of potential particles all overlapping as frequencies, but it’s a stretch to believe that a bunch of potential ‘MEs” are overlapping. But you know what? The idea is so beautiful that I say, “WHY THE HELL NOT??”

    +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

    But then, if that’s the case, who is the “you” that jumped rails from one track to another? Who is *that*?? If both lives continue regardless, who is this third person, the “track hopper.”---------panther

    OK. This is a mindblower. I get where you’re coming from.
    My question is: “If I jump from one reality to the next, leaving a batch of world-people behind me --- and I find myself in another similar world with a new batch of those same people -- which of the two batches are the ORIGINAL and AUTHENTIC world-people?

    Also, if I go back in time and prevent 9-11, that still doesn’t erase the suffering of the Twin Tower people. Once suffering has occurred, it’s impossible to erase it.

    +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

    pantherMarch 22, 2015 at 11:01 PM
    Although I have not done salvia, I am fascinated by these things because sometimes when I am in places I seem to have haunting feelings of the “lives” lived in those places…rarely,this does not happen a lot.And again,there is that sense that “I” or a version of me is involved. Of course, this could all be delusion or imagination…the mind plays its tricks…but if it does it’s an awfully alluring trick, and oddly time consuming.

    Alright. Quit messing with me. I get the same vibe sometimes. If I see a picture of a multimillion dollar mansion, I can get a vibe of what it’s like living there. It’s a I AM LIVING THERE vibe. Ane I’m living over there, and over there, and over there. A little bit of me is experiencing the lives of everyone currently alive. It’s like in my fundamental form, I am a God-like personage. We are all God-like personages in our fundamental nature. We are all facets of a superstructural GOD experiencing all experiences at all times in all places.

    I have a problem with the GOD concept. I can only accept a God-like Creature if S(he) is limited in the ability to exert power or limited in the ability to intellectualize the pain of suffering. No true omnipresent, omnipotent, self aware, God-like personage can justify the suffering going on in this/these reality/realities.

    ++++++++++++++++++++++++++

    I think that Burningmouth mentioned having chest pain when trying to step into another world-possibility. Again, it would be good to reality test something like that, say by wearing a heart monitor, possibly one with some kind of record function.-------panther

    I think that my chest pain was real. It felt painful. It was so painful that I couldn’t trip; my brain went into full survival mode. Until I started complaining about chest pain, I read absolutely nothing in salvia forums about it. St Brian and I are the only ones to mention it.

    With the seeing-the-book episode and the arythmia, it’s almost as if, at the point where you were at risk of acquiring actual knowledge that wasn’t part of the legitimate information-evolution of your “home” reality, a kind of self-protective process swung into action. Perhaps protecting your life. Perhaps protecting this reality from being ‘wounded’ or ‘denatured’ by foreign learnings that weren’t somehow “earned” in the legitimate progress of efforts won in this world.------panther

    By Jove, I think he’s got it.
    It’s the whole red pill, blue pill, gold dress, black dress thingy.
    It could be a protective thing (our protection or the Overseers protection) …. Or it could be a problem with the interference encountered in relation to (St. Brian’s) Probability Rules of logic/math.

    ReplyDelete
  42. I threw a bunch of youtube videos on the first 3 pages of my blog. There's a good, salviaesque CocaCola video on page one. Although not really salviaesque, page three has some Pogo videos. If you've never heard of PogoMix, it's worth a look. Also a couple of good trip videos on page one. The 'guy on the beach' vid is good.

    http://peoploid.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
  43. Anyway, back to the more interesting stuff. I know that you said in one experiment you saw a number of panels and one in particular in which you saw your wife stirring to wake up. You then moved into that panel. Again, taking the “parallel realities are objectively real” option for now, this seems to me to pose a number of tricky questions. Here, I’m not quite getting the distinction between swapping over to a “nearby” reality and one that is “radically different,” though I understand that the second case may be harder to achieve. Here’s what I wonder about though: if you really did select that particular panel (reality) among many, and then moved into it, merging with it, what happened to the “you” in the original frame of reference, in the reality from which you began the experiment?
    -------------------------
    I'm enjoying these questions as they are the very ones I ask myself. I don't really get satisfactory answers to them. I mean, there's always "it's only an hallucination so none of it is real, waking people/dogs up is coincidental or I make some noise (that I guard against and would hear if I did but still) or whatever.

    The point being, I don't know the answers. To be honest the only consistent one, the only answer that answers all these objections, is solipsism. I'm the only consciousness anywhere and everybody else is my hallucination. Since I don't accept that, the remaining answers are problematic to be sure.

    The paragraph I highlighted above though can be answered, all it's objections, by what I said previously. I'm seeing potential next moments, not the *current* moment. So none of them exist yet as realized, just as potential. When I select one, my consciousness moves into that track, into that next moment, and all the rest dissolve. So all the alternate sleeping versions of my wife never happened. All the versions of me coughing never happened.

    Still, often it seems like there's a wave of distortion that awakens my wife or the dog. Is that the same? Sometimes I think so, other times it seems the dog is disturbed by and can somehow feel what I feel. This post we're commenting on, what's with the hand silhouettes? How do they awaken (disturb actually) my wife? I mean, they produce a 'crawley' sensation in my mind... do they in hers? It seems that way visually.

    As to the "ONE" fragmenting and so forth, you're in good company, because I'm skeptical about that too. Just because I sensed it doesn't make it real, and to me it doesn't seem like the "right answer." It just doesn't. I'm describing what I sensed, or seemed to sense. Not what I BELIEVE. I hope that is clear in all these things. I'm searching for something I can believe in, as in, something I have clear evidence in my mind for, and haven't found it yet. About the only thing I can say is that I strongly suspect that reality is not what we think it is. Can't be SURE though. I wanna be sure. At least close to sure.

    Please both of you, keep dissecting this stuff, this is just what I need. I need to have logical minds, more than just my own, tearing into this, falsifying what they can, calling things into question. This is just what I hope for.

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  44. Oh, and I don't think I've ever read J.D. Arthur's book about perceptual transformation through SD. I will have to do so.

    I think we construct a dream to represent the reality we sense "out there" but the dream is in our minds of course. So then, it becomes problematic to tell, is there still an "out there" or is it all the dream we construct. Lately I've been getting a stronger, clearer sense that my reality is a dream, this body I use is my 'dream body' that I also use in my sleeping dreams, my own representation of me to me.

    Also, in this dream for some reason, certain things are forbidden to see or to recall if seen. Am I editing things out of the dream that is wakefulness? I think yes. I think we edit things out of our perception of reality, out of that inner dream we construct inside us of what we believe to be "out there." I think we do it all the time, too.

    My heart pain was real. Of that I'm certain. I'm awake enough in these instances to get up and walk around if I wish to. I know that when I get rapid heartbeat, I count them and estimate seconds passing to get an approximate heart rate. Now, would it KILL ME if I pushed into it? I have no idea. I never did, either. As in, I've never been sure it would, it just definitely felt like it would.

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  45. Now, if there is a ONE that somehow divided into the many, that means my wife and I are the same essential being. She's me, I'm her. Same with you guys. So how does this affect these 'equations?' Not sure. Hell, I can't even get my head around it.

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    1. Can you remember how intense it was what you have seen in "the darkest interpretation"?
      Is your impression/assumption of "there is only one" influenced by this?
      Was there only one? Or rather "nothing/nothingness"?
      I think a better understanding of this is not "the one" ...rather the "void/nothingness/annihilation/emptines - the absence of inherent existence in all phenomena"
      I think this stuff, this "nothing/void/annihilation/emptiness" is kind of an "active function".
      I know it sounds crazy ... but maybe this active function does the following:
      Letz call the nothing/annihilation "-/minus"
      This "-" is the only function, everything interacting with "-" becommes and only is "-", "-" IS IT, NO ELSE, its the base thing!
      Mathematically we could say that every "+" multiplied with a "-" beommes "-".
      Everything is going into nothing/is nothing. The flow is from all to nothing. Nothing is at the end.(the absence of inherent existence in all)

      Now comes the crazy stuff about this "nothing is existing"... it seems this "nothing/void/absence - active function" is active on itself.
      Is infinity a result of the "nothingfunction"? I mean could it be possible that the annihilation is self annihilating?
      Mathematically -*-=(-*-) we see (-*-) as "+" so -*-=+ (funny thing: maya/illusion = + , in real it is (-*-)
      Nothing is there, even "nothing" is not there so as a resulst of "nothing not there" ---> everything exists/is there, the creation.
      In "the darkest interpretation" your core of beeing was "NOT - nothing".... this "NOT - nothing" you are calling "the one".... you are
      right about the fact that this thing is "ONE ALL", an everchanging infinity, the opposite of emptiness, the room of all phenomena.

      Ever thought about the moment? It seems that the consciousness moment is the only thing we could truly tell is happening/real.
      But when is this moment happening? Oh, moment, the moment is gone? ...
      So i think the moment is the top - result of the "nothingfunction - voidfunction" ... in the moment everything is and is not....

      Delete
  46. I've had similar thoughts. What if nothing, the ultimate Nothing, actually has *properties* of some kind? Seems nonsensical but we are biased by our perceptions of our dream of reality.

    We're ants here, trying to understand skyscrapers.

    On salvia I can freeze a moment in time in my mind, say the snap of my fingers, then continue to observe time go by one moment after another, while holding that *snap* moment in my mind at the same time *with equal clarity.* What I mean is, each passing present moment is no clearer than that *snap* moment, as if I'm *still living that *snap* moment* equally as I am living each present moment. As if the past *remains* equally real as the present, only we *forget* it as we proceed down our own timeline. As our consciousness proceeds down the tangled string of our lives, following the *present moment* which is simply the speed that consciousness travels as it proceeds moment-to-moment.

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  47. What do you (all of you) think of the phrase "story-based reality?" I've thought of it many times on salvia. It seems that the main thing our consciousness does is to construct a story based on our perceptions. Sometimes it seems to me that reality itself is nothing more than a story a bunch of consciousnesses are all following at the same time. Weird, huh?

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  48. There are times, when I’m being more skeptical I guess, when the whole multiple realities thing seems crazy. I mean, are there really trillions of “mes” out there, each living a slightly different life, many of them trivially different. It’s also kind of horrifying in a way…or at least, as horrifying as it is wonderful, since there would presumably be versions of my life where I kill someone and go on death row, or where someone kills me, or where I cut my arm off by accident while using a chainsaw…and so on. If every possibility is actualized, too, in some sense must be actualized, I’m not sure what that makes of ethics. Well no, let me rephrase that…I *AM* sure where it makes of ethics at the end of the day, and I don’t like it. Burning mentioned suffering, but of course every conceivable kind of suffering would also be realized…somewhere. That’s pretty heavy.

    Sometimes I feel, again being more skeptical here *(but what do I know, I haven’t done salvia…still, from the large number of reports that I’ve read) that the drug’s primary effect is to cause “tessellation”…a breakdown of what is experienced into multiple facets. Sometimes this is experienced only perceptually, and the result is that person sees a mattress, or something, woven together with millions of tiny, intricately folded little beings, or designs with intricate repeating patterns, and sometimes the interpretive and cognitive abilities are drawn into it and it becomes “parallel worlds” and “branching possibilities” and so on. I’m not saying this has to be true, but there are grounds for caution, imo.

    I’m reminded too of those numerous salvia experiences where someone becomes, you know, like a gob of dirt on the side of someone’s shoe. And the way it usually goes is when they become that they remember that that’s what they REALLY were, from all eternity, and there was just this brief period, almost a trick that someone played on them, where they thought they were this thing called a human being, with a family and free will and so on, except now that joke is over and they are BACK in the REAL reality, where they are a bit of dog poop on a shoe again…forever and forever.

    And this is one of the reasons why I don’t dare try it, because I just have this feeling that I’d be one of those guys who has that kind of experience. But at the same time, that experience is completely nuts. It doesn’t much make sense for there to be any universe where “someone” could be a blob of labrador poop on a shoe for all eternity…and it seems to me a cautionary tale for taking anything that happens in these experiences as literal truth, or possibly even symbolic truth.

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    Replies
    1. If I am all, if all is ONE, if we all are ONE, then I am that dog poop. I am all dog poops.

      SYNCHRONICITY ALERT: At the moment I was typing "dog poop" above, my wife called out to me from the kitchen and said "you've got bigger bags for dog poop now" meaning the plastic bags that I'd bought to pick up our dog's poop (lol) are a bit bigger. She said "dog poop" as I was typing it the second time.

      So if synchronicities have any meaning, apparently something important about what we were talking about. Or it's dogshit. Lol...

      Delete
  49. Can you remember how intense it was what you have seen in "the darkest interpretation"?
    Is your impression/assumption of "there is only one" influenced by this?
    Was there only one? Or rather "nothing/nothingness"?
    -------------
    It was very intense. I was that being. I felt it as my own feelings, as if it had in fact happened to me in my own past. So of course it was a being. It was me. This hit me with so much disorientation that I felt sorry for *it* then immediately realized that *it* was *me* and then I felt the terror, the feeling that I am all alone in the... no, I was going to say "universe" but there is no universe, there are no places, nothing at all exists but my single consciousness, the ultimate solitary confinement, nothing to see and no eyes to see it with, no body, all just illusory self-distraction in my insanity of isolation, so in my madness, I created YOU. Well, you and everything else. Of course, by "created" what I really mean is "imagined."

    ReplyDelete
  50. If when such a consciousness as the ONE (or the NONE, as the case may be) has a dream and creates beings within it that are thinking beings, do those dream beings possibly actually *think?*
    Do they think they are real, for instance? Do they insist on it?

    ReplyDelete
  51. That said, the multiple realities thing definitely fascinates me, and who knows? The universe is a strange place. It finally comes down to an issue of whether these other “mes” are in fact vital and real, in their own frames of reference, even when I am not observing them.
    And you are right (Brian) it’s possible to interpret these “branches” as potential future moments you jump into…they exist only “virtually” until, in some sense, you actuate them, by bringing them to life, by making them the “real world.” And certainly this is easier on the mind than the idea of trillions of “mes” out there, each living their own life.

    Still, it kind of carries its own range of problems with it. It doesn’t really explain the “displacing” type episodes, of the kind that Burningmouth (I think) described. And then there’s the question of what we even mean by these potentials. Who or what “ARE” the people in these not-yet-real worlds?

    I also don’t think that these have to be opposed alternatives. A version of events can be imagined where both scenarios are part of the complete situation. In other words, yes you are choosing the next moment, but yes you are *also* merging with real independent parallel streams. So, in keeping with what I said earlier, this would mean that you don’t so much “swap” from one stream to another at a given point as actually bifurcate into it…but the “original” you actually keeps going too, in a self-consistent world to its own frame of reference. And didn’t you have an experience like that…when you saw another “you” leaving out of you…and on that occasion your subjective awareness (the branch you were following) was the one left behind, whereas in the account where you stirred your wife awake, your subjective self went with that branch.

    I can imagine this being like a lightning flash. Think of it this way. Your “larger life” (let’s call it the “overlife”) is a much larger figure than you experience…it is the total lightning flash, a thing that actually traverses many, many, many parallel (and diverging) and converging tracks. But we don’t experience this “overlife” consciousness during regular life…it would drive us insane. Now, there’s another perspective, as it were, from *within* the lightning, as it travels from cloud to ground (or believes itself to do so), from which it “selects” each “upcoming moment” and branches down those moments. And there’s yet another perspective…the perspective of the end point or “tip” of any one of those traveling forks, turning around, and looking back up the lightning flash (memory). From that perspective, it would appear to “see” and would seem to itself to have experienced, only one “unique history”…that being the particular fork that represented the choices taken from the cloud base to where it now existed as the traveling tip.

    Could anyone of that be true? HAHA! I don’t know. But part of me wants to think so (the other part of me…well, I’m not so sure).

    I would also like your thoughts on imagining and dreaming, because somehow I think they are deeply linked to all this. As if, when we imagine and dream, we are engaging in a (limited) participation in the Overlife, even during the waking state. As if imagining, dreaming, and “multiple universes” are all somehow different angles of approach, or means of access to, the same cosmic situation. So many times I have felt that I visited a “real place” in a dream…at least real *somehow,* in a *somewhere.*

    ReplyDelete
  52. All you say as a skeptic, I both appreciate, take to heart, and have thought of myself. I'd heard of this 'tesselation' myself. More to the point, if all we experience is by definition in the mind, then wouldn't reality (when perceptions are changed by say, salvia) also seem to be entirely in the mind, as in, possibly not "out there," even if it indeed is?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I didn't mean to discount your input, I didn't mean I'd thought of EVERYTHING you said, just that you're hitting points I'd happened to have considered. I think of falsification a lot. Your input is great here. Making me think.

      Delete
  53. My analytical side is always telling me that these experiences can be false, and how. As in, I think of how them might be falsified by my mind plus salvia.

    Having had the experiences that I've had, if I didn't have that analytical side, I guess I'd be a believer in all this by now, rather than still a seeker of more evidence. I mean, one point *not* in my favor is *of course* I'm biased, and that's not good. I wish it were true. Admitting that to myself raises big red flags. I'm at 50/50 here, balanced on knife's edge, one way or the other. Can't make a decision. No definitive evidence.
    On the other side, my synchronicities tell me all is not what it appears in the world, and that's without salvia, way before I ever even tried it.

    Did you like my dogpoop coincidence there? That wasn't like picking a book title off a list. This was my wife randomly saying "dogpoo" in the other room as I was typing it. That rises to the level of one to pay attention to.

    ReplyDelete
  54. "If I am all, if all is ONE, if we all are ONE, then I am that dog poop. I am all dog poops."

    Indeed. But are dog poops conscious...even in THIS reality? ;)

    ReplyDelete
  55. The question is really "is all reality made up of one single entity at some deep level" I think. All is One, One is All. I am the Walrus, but the Walrus is Paul. (But I'm him too,) (joke there at the end, btw)

    ReplyDelete
  56. Do I write with a pen, or the idea of a pen. Answer seems obvious, but sometimes I don't know.

    ReplyDelete
  57. Do I have a body, or the idea of a body that I agree upon with my environment, which is also a part of me, and with you the observer (if you were to see me) which is also a part of me?

    ReplyDelete
  58. Another part of me is here reading my words and realizing how bullshitty they sound. Like New Age Crap.

    ReplyDelete
  59. See, maybe we're making the mistake of pretending to ourselves that while Maya deceives, we've taken that into account.

    Ok, I'm talking about me, not us.

    Maybe I want to think of multiple realities, all the wonderful scientific terms like type III Multiverse, or ideas of there being RULES to all of this, something to grasp, when it's a lot closer to it all being a dream, and science itself is just us observing the dream, expecting something, justifying it a lot to ourselves, and then getting it. From the dream. To placate ourselves. Maya deceiving us again.

    ReplyDelete
  60. It occurs to me that the best kind of a escapist dream for a consciousness that is by default in control of everything, is one in which it is not in control.

    ReplyDelete
  61. Back to the Multiverse you like so much...

    (me too)

    Physics doesn't differentiate between past and future very well. It pretty much works in both directions, at least the math does.

    So some "what if"s"

    What if my past is as real to me as my present is?
    What if the "me" that celebrated his sixth birthday is still blowing on those damned candles?

    What if the future exists "already" (note quotes) too?

    Now add in the Multiverse

    And each life is a branching tree. Hell, it even branches before we're born. But my point is, I am still blowing out my candles at age six, and I'm also in the process of dying at the end of my life in my future. And everything in between. But my reality is also branching all the time. So there's this vast tree of Brian. Branching and branching, and since it's all connected at the base, and since time is illusory, all other branches of the Tree of Me, are connected to this branch, through the base when we were all one "Brian" or at least close to that. Every time I decide to do something, I also didn't decide to do it, and my branch splits into two new versions of me with identical memories in different universes. Or three, or whatever.
    But all of me are connected. Potentially all are accessible.

    Hell, is it possible to experience more than one universe at once, if they're nearly identical? I mean, RIGHT NOW at this moment I could be in say fifty universes all overlapped, and be experiencing not one unvierse, but the AVERAGE of all of them at once. So if I were to say, die in one, I might feel it as a minor cramp that passes...

    You see that I like to speculate...

    ReplyDelete
  62. All relative realities are created through the consciousness, which is relative to itself. We / you are that consciousness, which exists in relation to itself and interacts with itself. There is nothing else. Nothing, not even the screen in front of you, has it's independent existence.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's basically what I was saying/asking. Can it be that? Can it be that all is a mirage, even you, even my own body? This means all talk of multiverses and indeed, all of science itself, is also a mirage, self-delusion.

      What then of others, such as you, such as people I meet? How do they fit in? How are they real if nothing I see is? How do you all fit into me, and I into you?

      See, once again, this is easier if I'm the only being in existence and I made you all up in my head. Solipsism. And I don't like solipsism.

      Delete
    2. You are that!

      If you like reading, I would recommend you the teachings of Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj (I am That, Consciousness and the Absolute).

      Your are the absolute.

      But I think, to think about multiverses creates them. You are the creation and the creator.

      The big question is, what do 'you' want?

      In the first page of 'Consciousness and the Absolute', Maharaj mentioned, that you love that feeling of 'I'. You are doing everything for that 'I'.

      Delete
    3. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_wMOOHV_OSg

      Maybe this kind of music helps you through the journey of self experience :)

      Delete
  63. Don't allow institutional concepts about fundamental reality cloud salvia-specific ideas and visuals.

    Sunyata might be true fundamental reality, but it "blows out" fun ideas about salvia divinorum. Eastern concepts about fundamental reality (not to mention quantum physics) might eventually meet up with salvia visuals, but it's way out there beyond my grasp.

    ReplyDelete

  64. Saint Brian the GodlessMarch 23, 2015 at 10:57 AM
    To be honest the only consistent one, the only answer that answers all these objections, is solipsism. I'm the only consciousness anywhere and everybody else is my hallucination. Since I don't accept that, the remaining answers are problematic to be sure. 
    ===+===

    That’s the back-door ‘FINAL SOLUTION’ to my problem with suffering. If this world is my own creation, then possibly suffering doesn’t really exist. (at least on a grand scale)

    ###########################################

    Saint Brian the GodlessMarch 23, 2015 at 10:57 AM
    I'm seeing potential next moments, not the *current* moment. So none of them exist yet as realized, just as potential. When I select one, my consciousness moves into that track, into that next moment, and all the rest dissolve. So all the alternate sleeping versions of my wife never happened. All the versions of me coughing never happened.
    ===+===

    My blog is filled with crazy talk. Your above statement is also crazy talk. But here’s the thing. If what you’re saying is true, then it is the most profound, ‘actualized’ concept currently floating around. Your concept coupled with my idea about ‘templates’ could be very, very interesting.

    ###################################################

    Saint Brian the GodlessMarch 23, 2015 at 6:45 PM
    What do you (all of you) think of the phrase "story-based reality?"
    ===+===

    It jibes with my idea of concurrently active Earth worlds, each processing a different slice of Earth-based scenarios. Each Earth-based scenario is a “story-based reality”. Earth-based scenario worlds can be accessed through salvia divinorum. Based on my salvia journeys, it is my opinion that these similar Earth worlds adjacent to our Earth world do not contain our duplicates or doppelgangers. There is no ‘me’ in adjacent Earth worlds.

    At least one adjacent Earth world contains (for some odd reason) self aware (and more oddly enough ‘salvia’ aware‘) cerebrally advanced humanoids. They are usually pissed off at my intrusion into their world. However, sometimes they seem to swarm around me and attempt to speed-talk the Matrix into me before amnesia sets in.

    ###################################################

    pantherMarch 23, 2015 at 7:10 PM
    There are times, when I’m being more skeptical I guess, when the whole multiple realities thing seems crazy. I mean, are there really trillions of “mes” out there, each living a slightly different life, many of them trivially different. It’s also kind of horrifying in a way
    ===+===

    Well, that’s what a lot of “many worlds” physicists believe. But I also have a problem with the idea of 10^500 universes out there with at least one where I am having sex with Felicity Jones (Hawking‘s wife in ‘Theory of Everything‘). And you’re right, panther. A bazillion of yous equates to a significantly more amount of potential suffering. For me, it doesn’t pass the smell test.

    ###################################################


    pantherMarch 23, 2015 at 7:10 PM
    the drug’s primary effect is to cause “tessellation”…a breakdown of what is experienced into multiple facets…….
    ===+===
    There’s nothing wrong with trying to come up with rational, scientific explanations for salvia visuals.

    ###################################################


    pantherMarch 23, 2015 at 7:10 PM
    And this is one of the reasons why I don’t dare try it, because I just have this feeling that I’d be one of those guys who has that kind of experience.
    ===+===

    Panther, here’s what would probably happen if you did extract. It would be radically different from your pre-trip expectations. It would instantly blow your mind, in that you would have novel understandings of how your experienced, everyday reality (under the salvia Sun) truly is. You would come down feeling like you’ve been born again. And then after thirty seconds or so, your brain would have erased eighty percent of the trip.

    ReplyDelete
  65. I reserve the right to change my mind immediately and completely concerning what I posted above.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lol, I'm so used to Twitter I tried to re-tweet this. Hey, no RT button!

      Delete
  66. Wait a minute. Having read my previous posts, I realize just how jumbled my thoughts about salvia are. Based on my own salvia trips, my ideas about parallel realities have little relationship with current ideas about probability and the multiverse.

    When I would scan through various parallel sheets of reality (the Masterworld), the process of movement was beyond my ability to formulate a rational explanation for it.

    Also, the scenarios I encountered were all familiar scenarios involving mostly white, middle class, suburban Americans. So these different Earth worlds were actually just different versions of a middle class, suburban characterization of Earth worlds. It just doesn't make sense, except in an Occam Razor, neurological way.

    One major vibe I would get is that at least one dominant, parallel world contained suburban humans. These suburban humans would be 'salvia aware', and they would know intuitively that my everyday, material world (that we on this blog apparently share) was playing a kind of subordinate role compared to the salvia humanoids' more advanced ( and stealthier) world. Sometimes those salvia humanoids would resent me for intruding into their world; and sometimes they would gather around and speak educational gibberish to me.

    All I know for sure is that they forced me (or allowed me) to retire back to the safe and boring confines of our ordinary, material world. YAWN

    Now if I truly was a schizophrenic, I could convince myself of the truth of salvia beings, etc. But I'm just rational enough to have doubts.

    ReplyDelete
  67. Burningmouth said: There’s nothing wrong with trying to come up with rational, scientific explanations for salvia visuals.
    ---------------------
    YES! That is identical to my thoughts as well. If (pretty big "if" but still) this is entirely Maya, entirely illusory, then so is science, and science becomes relageted to being a mere mechanism of Maya, or rather another avenue for Maya to fool us through. So then tesselation is how science sees the brain (which isn't real!) when it's on salvia, doing it's multiverse thing. But then, is the multiverse real? Or more Maya to fool us?

    ReplyDelete
  68. Also, there can be multiple planes of reality and it can still be possible that they don't conform to our ideas of any multiverse. The 'multiverse' as described by science doesn't have to be real for other planes to exist. They could be entirely mental in nature, as is this one, if indeed it is.

    "These realities are entirely psychological in nature" was after all, one of the very few things Lady Salvia whispered to me.

    ReplyDelete
  69. Saint Brian the GodlessMarch 24, 2015 at 1:14 PM
    Burningmouth said: There’s nothing wrong with trying to come up with rational, scientific explanations for salvia visuals.
    ---------------------
    YES! That is identical to my thoughts as well. If (pretty big "if" but still) this is entirely Maya, entirely illusory, then so is science, and science becomes relageted to being a mere mechanism of Maya, or rather another avenue for Maya to fool us through. So then tesselation is how science sees the brain (which isn't real!) when it's on salvia, doing it's multiverse thing. But then, is the multiverse real? Or more Maya to fool us?
    ===+===
    In Buddhism, ultimate reality (nirvana) and conventional reality (samsara) are are like Yin and Yang. They work off each other. They're interchangeable in a weird way.

    So I think someone could present the argument that Enlightenment can be seen through Maya (and vice versa).

    If the entire objective world (including salvia visuals and scientific concepts) are Maya, then Eastern philosophy wins. If Eastern philosophy wins, then salvia-based ideas about ontology loses. The reason why salvia ideas about ontology loses is because those ideas are ultimately MAYA.

    I WANT to believe in salvia beings. I WANT to believe in accessible, parallel worlds existing alongside us in hyperspace.

    But the evidence is scarce. St. Brian, your descriptions about picking and choosing from different probability waves in your immediate environment are fascinating, but they need to be verified through experimentation.

    WE NEED TO SHAKE AND WAKE THIS FUCKING WORLD UP!

    ReplyDelete
  70. Saint Brian the GodlessMarch 24, 2015 at 1:17 PM
    Also, there can be multiple planes of reality and it can still be possible that they don't conform to our ideas of any multiverse. The 'multiverse' as described by science doesn't have to be real for other planes to exist. They could be entirely mental in nature, as is this one, if indeed it is.
    ===+===

    I hear you. What quantum mechanics is showing us is that the universe/multiverse is getting weirder and weirder. There is nothing rock solid in quantum mechanics. I think Neil's Bohr said that there is no objective world. There is only mathematics.

    So yes. It IS possible that all our weird, salvia-based ideas might one day be embraced by a further evolution in science.

    I once read an article about a Russian physicist who proposed the theory that we create our past. In other words, the Roman Empire never existed. Dinosaurs never existed. Rather, the evolution of our collective consciousness creates the past as it moves along in space and time. I need to google this guy (no perverted joke intended). He might be a total nut, but I find it interesting.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If we create our past we create our present as well.

      Delete
  71. @Saint Brian, regarding:

    "What then of others, such as you, such as people I meet? How do they fit in? How are they real if nothing I see is? How do you all fit into me, and I into you?"

    Here maybe this helps you:
    "The difference between beings is their mutual negativity, that is, their mutual non-identity or 'not-being-the-same-as-each-other'. This negativity determines what they are. In other words: mutual non-identity determines individual identity. Hence there must always be more than one being."

    Source: http://critique-of-pure-interest.blogspot.de/2014/06/theses-towards-dialectical-ontology_8246.html

    ReplyDelete
  72. ^^^
    That's right, Jeorge. Truly this interwebs is with fantastic lucidity. I am LOLing while thirstily waiting for my friend, Yortuk. At the disco, we will be grabbing the rss feed for chicks with big American breasts! That's why we are ... Two Wild and Crazy Guys!!

    (St Brian. Feel free to delete this post. It's your call. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL, you sounded just like him. I deleted him though. I hate spam like that. You do a good impression of his broken-English spiel there though.

      Delete
    2. I was hearing Aykroyd and Martin there... well done...

      Delete
  73. mutual non-identity determines individual identity
    --------------------
    Semantically that is the equivalent of "them being different is what determines them not being the same" and thus has no meaning. I need more than that.

    ReplyDelete
  74. I read a lot of that page Dafu (http://critique-of-pure-interest.blogspot.de/2014/06/theses-towards-dialectical-ontology_8246.html) and I didn't see it address the idea that One Consciousness is imagining Many Consciousnesses. Nothing in it disproved that. It doesn't even address solipsism, whether I'm imagining all of you. You are all different from me, so according to it, that proves it! Um, NOPE.
    Is it me? I'm not a philosophy major so maybe I don't know the codewords?

    ReplyDelete
  75. Dafu, in the spirit of that page you quoted:

    If all reality is an illusion and I am the only consciousness in the Universe than all knowledge that I learn here about this reality is also illusory, hence all differences between people's knowledge and my knowledge is illusory, all made up by the illusion that is this reality, so all differences between people can also be made up by this reality in order to deceive me into believing it real.

    How do you get by that?

    ReplyDelete
  76. What is the difference between a "real" cassical scientiffic world and the world which
    only seems to be real, where everything is witnessed as an "classical scientiffic world"?
    The spoon is indeed not real, but the awareness of the spoon is...
    More than that ... if it is like it seems (nothing, void, emptyness of emptyness)...it explains a lot i think.
    Why do we have this kind of physical maya world in the first time?
    (assumed it is created out of nothing -> into the phenomenal room/not-nothing/everything)
    How can there possibly be something like "the witnessing of something" in the first place if there is nothing at all?
    What are the needs to becomme a consciousness "something/witness" out of nothing?
    Differentiation? Identity? An illusory assumed "self"?
    An illusory world like ours, which seems rock solid, where you feel pain?

    ReplyDelete
  77. If an entity (the ONE?) is psychotically obsessed with everything being as real as possible, as in, no dreamlike qualities to reality, objects are solid, other people are real and finite, then it follows, doesn't it? Even pain follows, since being able to be damaged is definitely not a dreamlike quality. If I am real, I am solid, I can be felt. If you are as well, and your real hand intersects with my real eye, I am hurt.

    I dunno.... now I'm just rambling...

    ReplyDelete
  78. How can there possibly be something like "the witnessing of something" in the first place if there is nothing at all?
    -----------------------------------
    Our whole concepts of "nothing" and "something" must not reflect the deeper "real" reality, that's how. That's the only way.

    In the "real" reality, the concept of "nothing" is ridiculous. It has to be. There can be no nothing, and there can be no something. Neither is true.

    So what's left?

    MIND.

    MIND is all that's left.

    So, in my opinion, reality is a mind. And when I say this, I don't mean like our minds, which seem to require a body to house them. No, reality is the mind in which we are all thoughts. Because we seem to have bodies, we assume they're necessary for a mind to exist, so reality being a disembodied mind seems absurd, but that's just our "Reality-Bias" at work.

    It's all a MIND. So it seems to me at any rate.

    ReplyDelete
  79. In Buddhism, ultimate reality (nirvana) and conventional reality (samsara) are are like Yin and Yang. They work off each other. They're interchangeable in a weird way.

    So I think someone could present the argument that Enlightenment can be seen through Maya (and vice versa).

    If the entire objective world (including salvia visuals and scientific concepts) are Maya, then Eastern philosophy wins. If Eastern philosophy wins, then salvia-based ideas about ontology loses. The reason why salvia ideas about ontology loses is because those ideas are ultimately MAYA.

    I WANT to believe in salvia beings. I WANT to believe in accessible, parallel worlds existing alongside us in hyperspace.


    ----#----

    Win?
    Win what? Lose what?
    If everything is maya why should salvia based reality and the ideas about it lose?
    If everything is out of nothing - this "nothing/everything" still need and have some kind of "structure"
    (we obviously see structure in front of us, arent we?)
    So the ideas about our world and the salvia world, and everthing else are not "wrong/loosing" i think ... they are
    ideas about the functioning of a complex nothingness with "everything in motion" as a function of nothing in itself.

    ReplyDelete
  80. In the "real" reality, the concept of "nothing" is ridiculous. It has to be. There can be no nothing, and there can be no something. Neither is true.

    So what's left?

    MIND.

    MIND is all that's left.


    ----#----

    Thats a nice point you got there, very nice.
    What is this "mind" you are talking about?

    Lets assume nothing says/functions to itself like: oh my god, i cannot be nothing, i am NOT-nothing.
    NOT-nothing is the same like nothing without "other things" --> one alone in emptiness cant define itself so it goes on and say/function like:
    1.I am not nothing (ultimately)
    2.I am not "not-nothing"

    here we now have a kind of definition of "something" which is ultimately not-nothing and not all "other" "not-nothings".

    it goes on like:

    1.I am not nothing (ultimately)
    2.I am not "not-nothing-nr1"
    3.I am not "not-nothing-nr2"
    3.I am not "not-nothing-nr3"
    .
    .
    .
    I think this process has "really unlimited potential".
    In the end it is ultimately everything and nothing at the same time.... and there is only one thing known in exinstence which fits perfectly this explanation i guess: the very "moment", everything is in the moment, and the moment is everytime not there because it is ever gone...
    Everything is in the moment and the moment is never there because it is ever gone... so we have everything and nothing at the same "time" here...
    I think if we talk of "the overmind/god" it must be some kind of mechanism which "procecces" the whole "not-nothing/everything" to a logical/consciousness-possible/existence-enabling environment.
    I guess i would not be a consciousness-being if i were not in an "hard physical" reality or something like this at first .... i need to feel the pain in my knee which i hit at the wall to know what i am (maybe am..) and what i am not...im going into a structured world and start trying define myself with logic and structure. I think chaos without structure is not very consciousness-friendly.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Disagreed ^^

      I think it's spirit not mind.

      Delete
    2. I was agreeing to the last sentence, about 'chaos without structure'

      Delete
  81. “So what's left? 

    MIND. 

    MIND is all that's left. 

    So, in my opinion, reality is a mind. And when I say this, I don't mean like our minds, which seem to require a body to house them. No, reality is the mind in which we are all thoughts. Because we seem to have bodies, we assume they're necessary for a mind to exist, so reality being a disembodied mind seems absurd, but that's just our "Reality-Bias" at work. 

    It's all a MIND. So it seems to me at any rate.”
    ---Saint Brian the GodlessMarch 25, 2015 at 3:38 PM

    ===+===

    Your statement echoes that of the Buddhist Master, Huang Po. When I’m smoking weed, I get the sense that ALL is a kind of cosmic consciousness, similar to MIND (or Dharmakaya, Buddhanature, Sunyata, etc).

    So what does this have to do with salvia? I guess we could agree that salvia exploration is important because it helps to map out the intrastructure of Samsara. And if Samsara equals Nirvava and Nirvana equals Samsara, THEN IT’S ALL GOOD, Unless it’s BAD, in which case GOOD equals BAD and BAD equals GOOD.
    (Oh, screw it. I need to hose myself off.)

    ReplyDelete
  82. “Win?
    Win what? Lose what?
    If everything is maya why should salvia based reality and the ideas about it lose?”
    ---AnonymousMarch 25, 2015 at 3:39 PM

    ===+===

    I was just bummed that a salvia-based ontology of True Reality would be debased by a more 'ethereal' philosophy. An ethereal philosophy which has absolutely no need for imagery like wheels, little men, parallel worlds, etc.

    ReplyDelete
  83. I still think it's worth trying to record. I read an account of someone who took Sally and when he returned his stereo was switched off and not even plugged in, when in fact he had turned it on just beforehand. He felt that he had returned to a slightly different universe where he never in fact turned the stereo on, and was adamant that he never in fact moved from his chair.

    BUT there was another tale of a guy who was DEAD CERTAIN that he never moved off his couch, when in fact he'd been lurching around the room starting to break stuff, and his GF had to restrain him. This is why you can't entirely trust subjective impressions in a profoundly altered state, imo.

    Of course the video couldn't possibly prove an "alternative universe" but at least it would show you that you either didn't move, or did, when you thought you didn't. In the case of influencing the dog etc, it wouldn't really prove anything to the outside world...all you would see in the vid is a guy waking up and a dog moving...hardly stuff you could screen at the United Nations...but I still think it's worth doing.

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  84. I don't really hold with some of the "all the wisdom is in the East" stuff. It seems to me highly likely that the manifest world serves a metaphysical function, and it cannot simply be relegated to "Maya" or whatever. I've always felt that to be a bit of a cop out to be honest.

    It relates to this thing of the Cosmic One splitting into many. See, I think that can be because of a metaphysical imperative or necessity in the nature of being, rather than fear or loneliness. The kind of thing I have in mind is that consciousness in some fashion needs the empirical world, and hence experience, in order to "complete" itself. Perhaps it is really only "potential consciousness" without this. Does "godmind" know what it is like to be a cordon bleu chef without actually expressing a human life to become one? I doubt it. And the more you think about it, the more that has to apply to basically everything, and not just a few situations.

    ReplyDelete
  85. "I once read an article about a Russian physicist who proposed the theory that we create our past. In other words, the Roman Empire never existed. Dinosaurs never existed. Rather, the evolution of our collective consciousness creates the past as it moves along in space and time. I need to google this guy (no perverted joke intended). He might be a total nut, but I find it interesting."

    While I'm no quantum physicist, I'm pretty sure that one formal solution to the branching world picture, requires the wavefunction (or whatever) to have no unique past as well as no unique future. Think I read it in a Paul Davies book. It jives with what I mentioned earlier...perhaps it's not a case of EITHER parallel realities are literally real OR they are simply abstract potentials...it might be a case of BOTH/AND...where "real" or "potential only" is determined by how near or far away from it you are in the probability set. So, for instance, our very own world may exist "in potential only" for beings in a parallel possibility, if they exist. They cannot access the "reality" of our world, or if they did, it would now become their reality, and their own world would recede away from them to a mere possibility...that kind of thing. The other way round too: other parallel worlds may be "real" in their own right, as viewed from their own frames of reference, but when viewed from OUR frame of ref. all they can be for us is "possibilities." Well...rambles. But I think it's an awfully interesting idea, because we have this notion that thinks are either "universally real" or "universally not real"....aaaaand, I'm just not sure it's that simple.

    ReplyDelete
  86. Somewhat off topic

    So I'm watching this unfolding horror story about the plane crash in the Alps. What really gets to me is the notion that many passengers were watching the plane slowly drop closer and closer to the ground. I'm sure they were hoping beyond hope that magically the plane would somehow gain altitude and everyone would be safe. But at some time just moments before impact, they were forced to accept the fact that they were about to forcibly die.

    Now how do I, as an after-the-fact observer, rationalize this shit?

    This horror wasn't part of a movie plot starring Nicolas Cage. It really happened. People actually went through the emotional experience of extreme dread. Why? I can't formulate a rational explanation other than "shit happens".

    Sometimes I wonder if an advanced civilization is playing us -- is playing our world -- in that the advanced civilization is FARMING OUR EMOTIONS. Maybe human emotions are unique to our world. Perhaps advanced civilizations (in parallel worlds?) have evolved beyond love, hate and fear. Perhaps they tap into our emotions and experience our pain and happiness without having to pay too heavy a price (much like how we experience the emotions of Nicolas Cage at the theater).

    Or maybe it's just how our reality has been blindly constructed since the Big Bang.

    ReplyDelete
  87. @Brian

    It's just about 'Everything is what it is by differing from what it is not. '

    I believe there is 'something' (not nothing) because 'you' identified 'yourself' not with the nothingness. Based on that beginning, the identification keeps going one.

    But whats is this 'you' / 'yourself'. In my opinion it's even not mind, it's spirit. Mind is a product of experience, but you will NEVER get spirit. You can't imagine spirit, because this requires 'you', but 'you' arise from the spirit (same as the measurement problem (quantum decoherence)).

    It's really funny, but try to imagine, that you argue / speak with 'yourself', when you have a discussion or conversation with 'others'.

    Of course 'others' may gained different experience than 'you', but what's the value of experience? You can break down reality into two fundamental properties:
    1. Observer / realizer
    2. Observable / reality

    But why you think you are the observer and not the reality? Because you identify yourself not with the reality.

    Now please see the yin yang symbol. Maybe you can find two observers and two different realities.
    Why two and not one entity? It's because everything is in fact nothing and so duality is required.

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  88. "It's because everything is in fact nothing and so duality is required."
    ----Dafu Gramer

    +++=+++

    ^This sentence doesn't make sense to me.
    "Nothing" is a concept. "Nothing" is just one more "thing" from which Buddhists attempt to achieve liberation.

    Instead of "everything is nothing", why not say, "everything everythings, with the word "everythings" being a verb? Since "nothing" is merely a concept, then duality is no longer required.

    I agree that duality is out there, but could you explain further why it is required?

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  89. Hi burningmouth,

    in my opinion, when 'something' arises from the spirit, the 'anti-something' arises too. For an example matter and antimatter. That's why I believe duality is required, that something can 'be'.

    Look at yin yang:
    The big white area is the matter universe, the big black area is the antimatter universe. The black dot is the you as an observer within the matter universe and the white dot is that anti-you within the antimatter universe.

    And everything can annihilate itself to nothing. But what is the negation of nothing? is it everything or everything and something? Because that would describe the area and the dot in the yin yang.

    You can consider it as

    - = (-)- (which is much better than - = +)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. "If you look at zero you see nothing; but look through it and you will see the world."
      (Robert Kaplan)

      Delete
  90. If the mind is powerful enough, then why wouldn't a thought in that mind be able to become self-aware? A thought is a pattern of consciousness, as is a mind. So I think it's possible we are self-aware thoughts. Maybe that's just my delusion.

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  91. @Brian

    I believe, that everything is self-aware. Why do you think a thought is a product of your brian?

    In physics we have particles, who carry forces, like photons and gluons. Maybe thoughts are the same. Maybe thoughts are predictable (like photons and gluons), that means everything that happens in ten years, yes even in 100 million years, is already known. So where is your free will?

    Maybe the uncertainty principle grants us free will, or maybe not.

    Does anyone of you have experience with a lesser awake consciousness / wakefulness? In my nightly dreams I experienced myself without the knowledge of that 'I'. I didn't know that I exists, I didn't even had knowledge at all. It was like nirvana, no problems, no fears, just bliss.

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    Replies
    1. I've experienced complete fearlessness with Salvia. No problems and nothing arises in that state and the 'me' or the 'I' has no existence. Not even a single question arises. In this state nothing is a problem, meaning even if what would ordinarily seem problematic, say for example I were in the middle of an earthquake there is no reaction of fear. The mind cannot be shaken.

      Somehow if some remnants of the 'I' or 'me' remains and does ask a question, the question itself becomes invalidated.

      Delete
    2. "ask a question, the question itself becomes invalidated."

      I like this alot. It's like the invalidation of something arises as same as the actual something. Duality is the existence maker.

      Delete
    3. And the way of identification defines the way of realization.

      Did someone ever tried to identify yourself with something else, or even neglect identification at all?

      That 'I' is that, what always was, is and always will be. But that "I'm" is delusionally and plays together with the identification and defines the overall realization.

      Delete
  92. Burningmouth,

    Event like the Germanwings disaster are one thing that seem to signal to me completely that there's ultimately "no one driving" this show...

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  93. "there's ultimately "no one driving" this show..." ---panther

    ===+===

    I agree with you, panther. A cold fact.
    If I didn't get headaches from drinking alcohol, the movie "Leaving Las Vegas" would be my guiding light.

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  94. So Burning,

    Is your blog still active too. I've been reading it. Really interesting stuff about the "people watching us" and so on, but the last entry I can find is 2013. Is that still happening to you?

    ReplyDelete
  95. With Google’s ‘Blogger’, a person can change the dates of the posts. I put what I thought was my best stuff on page one. My ‘Trippin Thru 2012’ posts all took place in 2012.

    I had to stop smoking salvia sometime in 2013 because of a slowly ascending level of chest pain associated with extract. My last few trips were full blown heart attack situations. It’s too bad because I kept getting closer and closer to some kind of Eureka moment. Unfortunately, the Eureka moment never actually happened for me.

    The major revelation I got from smoking extract was the idea that there was at least one other world somehow piggybacking alongside our world. This world mimicked our world (or rather it mimicked my own personal experience of our world). It contained what looked like normal human beings, except that they were all ‘salvia aware’. For the most part, these salvia people were put off by my intrusion into their world; although sometimes they would ‘speed-teach’ me the essentials of the Matrix. I never remembered the teachings for more than a few seconds.

    Later on I came up with the idea of a ‘Master World’. This Master World was based on a repeating experience I had when smoking salvia. While tripping, I would experience a profound sense of gravitational contraction. This gravitational contraction would somehow compress various parallel worlds into semitransparent sheets which would fold onto each other. The folding sheets would continuously layer on top of each other, creating a super massive, highly gravitational database of worlds (which I called the Master World).

    I also got the vibe that there were several, if not many, ‘enlightened’ people in our general population who had a good understanding of the Matrix, and who had created a sophisticated way of scanning websites to see if anyone else was ‘waking up‘. These enlightened people were a kind of quasi human being: half human being, half salvia being, i.e., they were more than just dudes who tripped a lot.

    The lack of follow through by either the people in our general population or by the so called salvia beings left me with a feeling of loss and disappointment.

    What I really wanted to happen was for this salvia-aware, parallel world to make contact with our world. I kept expecting it to happen, but it never did.

    Anyway, I shut down my blog except for the occasional tweak. If I get bored enough with my life, I might buy some more extract.

    Thanks for asking, though. It helps me feel like I’m still relevant. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A friend of mine and I also asked us why you abruptly left, without saying anything. But a few days ago this friend told me that you a back and did some comments on Brians blog.

      Is this maybe humans greatest fear to be not loved / relevant?

      Delete
  96. Some small recommendation:
    http://thomaslcummins.tripod.com/id119.html

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. "Accordingly, even though we are focused mainly on other objects, our Desire motivates us to the point of saying "I..." Once we acquire the object of the Desire, like food perhaps, we destroy, transform, engulf, or "negate" it. In this manner, the 'I' "preserves its own reality by the overcoming of a reality other than its own, by the 'transformation' of an alien reality into it own reality, by the 'assimilation', the 'internalization' of a foreign, 'external' reality."

      Delete
  97. ^That tripod link locked up my computer.

    I think we can get through life OK without being loved or without thinking of ourselves as relevant. I'm retired and I have to really try to find things that interest me. Boredom is a problem. For the five years that I was doing extract on a regular basis, I was driven by the novelty of salvia space. I've since replaced salvia with marijuana, but there's little novelty with marijuana (nor any visuals of foreign worlds).

    While keying in my reply to you, I'm also researching anti-semitism in the New Testament. This research is giving me a sense of meaning. But alas, everything is impermanent, and soon I will be done with antisemitism in the New Testament. Something new will have to come along................
    Hmmmmm, Scientology. Maybe I'll meet a hot Hollywood chick who's into Scientology. Maybe I'll fall in love with her and move to Malibu. Maybe I'll advance to the very pinnacle, the very essence of Scientology.....................................NAHHHH !!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  98. "These enlightened people were a kind of quasi human being: half human being, half salvia being, i.e., they were more than just dudes who tripped a lot.

    The lack of follow through by either the people in our general population or by the so called salvia beings left me with a feeling of loss and disappointment."

    A "sense of imminence" (that something of tremendous importance either WILL or SHOULD happen shortly) seems to be a common experience for any type of encounter with "other." It's the million dollar question of course: are these beings actually "real" with their own "lives" when we are not looking at them. There seems now to answer that question objectively...short of them showing up on earth. There's always going to be the risk that they are an extremely clever trick that the brain/mind can pull off.

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  99. * 'now' should read 'no way.'

    ReplyDelete
  100. A Dream within a Dream (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VZyNKrYo9I4)

    I fell very early into sleep last evening. What I can remember of the dream (level 1 dream) was, that I fall into sleep in my dream again. In my nested dream (level 2 dream), I saw reality (dream level 1) as a two dimensional screen in front of me. I had no being characteristics anymore (like a physical body). Nothing else just darkness around the screen.

    The screen began to move away from me, and the darkness started to overwhelm that screen, like a dark fog. I believed in this moment, when the screen / reality get vanished, my existence becomes also vanished; and so I started to cry mentally and clamp (without arms of course) on that level 1 dream. And suddenly I was back in reality (level 1 dream).

    In level 2 dream, I had knowledge about level 1 dream, but in level 1 and 2 dream, no knowledge about my physical life.

    For me, reality is like a mirror. If you stop focusing yourself through the mirror, the mirror (most probably you too) disappears and only nothingness remains.

    Of course it's 'just' a dream, but physical life is perhaps also just a dream.
    Maybe one of you had some similar experience?

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  101. A "sense of imminence" (that something of tremendous importance either WILL or SHOULD happen shortly) seems to be a common experience for any type of encounter with "other." ----panther

    ===+===

    I once read that the sense of "Eureka" is a totally electro-chemical phenomenon, and that the salvia divinorum molecule somehow acts as a precursor which activates the Eureka moment. So maybe the Eureka moment comes first, and then the mind fills in the space with explanations for the Eureka moment. (instead of the other way around).

    I don't know if you've heard of redgreenvines. He's camped out at shroomery.org. He came up with the idea of 'frame stacking', which might explain a lot of salvia visuals.

    Personally, I think there's more going on than just some merely neurological explanation for salvia visuals, but what do I know?

    Also, there's an entire book with all kinds of illustrations about the neurological foundations of hallucinogenic experiences. The complete book is available on the internet. I can't remember the name of it though.

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  102. Dafu Gramer:

    I just woke up from a weird dream. Unfortunately, I don't get much information from dreams. A dream is nowhere near as profound as a good salvia experience. Supposedly there's a connection between dreams and our brains' own inherent supply of DMT.

    ReplyDelete
  103. Hi all! My computer died so I had to get a new one... so I'm back now... need to read your comments and get back to you...

    ReplyDelete
  104. Let me give (all of) you a comment:

    Took some mushrooms with friends. And we started to listen deep house music.

    Later on while listening to this track:
    https://soundcloud.com/nodefinitionrecords/blondee-moment-vijay-sofia-zlatko-remix
    I started to identify myself with the moment, it's funny because the track title is moment.

    In the moment I found bliss. Only the moment is true, the moment ever was, is, and will be. That's what you really are.

    In the bliss I was without fear and problems, only pure happiness existed and of course 'we' laughed a lot.
    The more I identified myself with the moment, the more I saw, that nothing has it's own / independent reality. We started to watch a funny movie. Everything that happened in this movie, each spoken sentence, each played background soundtrack, happened not because of the story line of this movie, it happened because of the moment.
    For an example: As I felt sad, sad music was played in the movie. As I had a question, the question became instantly answered through spoken sentences within the movie ...

    I was completely unable to follow the story line of the movie, but 'we' laughed a lot and the more 'we' laughed, the more I recognized, that I'm not laughing with someone 'else'. I was laughing only with myself and about myself, because there is nothing else, but the moment.

    Later on, I was completely unable to differentiate between reality and illusion. I thought I was a murderer and police cops were about to catch me. While tried to sleep in the morning, I had to fight death before entering dream state.

    While I was the moment, entering sleep state (death) was like a jump into the ocean of uncertainty.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Wassertropfen.jpg
    "Impact of a drop of water in water, a common analogy for Brahman and the Ātman"

    As long as you are part of reality (maybe as a human being), entering sleep state is not that hard, because the next day already exists in your mind. But there is no tomorrow as long as you are the moment, there is 'only' the moment in the moment.

    It's like there is no difference between imagination / illusion and reality, no difference between death and entering dream state, and birth and waking up.

    ReplyDelete
  105. I've been sensing that more and more, even without salvia. With it, I sense that I'm creating my reality and even that just before something happens in my reality I'm already thinking about it being about to happen, although it's elusive and faint and very fast indeed.

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  106. In one recent experience I awakened, then awakened again, and again and again, over and over, from a series of nested dreams. I finally stopped at what felt like the last one, like "reality," but to be honest it was arbitrary; I think I could have kept going and awakened from that last one as well, and many more...

    ReplyDelete
  107. Thought I'd just quote something here:

    "Sariputta came to Buddha. He meditated deeply, then many things, many visions started coming, as it happens with anyone who goes into deep meditation. He began to see heavens, he began to see hells, he began to see angels, gods, demons. And they were actual, so real that he came running to Buddha to tell him that such and such a vision had come to him. But Buddha said, "It is nothing -- just dreams. Just dreams!" But Sariputta said, "They are so real. How can I say that they are dreams? When I see a flower in my vision it is more real than any flower in the world. The fragrance is there; I can touch it. When I see you," he said to Buddha, "I do not see you as real. That flower is more real than your being here just before me, so how can I differentiate between what is real and what is dream?" Buddha said, "Now that you are centered in the third eye, dream and reality are one. Whatsoever you are dreaming will be real, and vice versa also." For one who is centered in the third eye dreams will become real and the whole reality will become just a dream, because when your dream can become real you know there is no basic difference between dream and reality."

    http://www.meditationiseasy.com/mCorner/techniques/Vigyan_bhairav_tantra/meditation_technique_no5.htm

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    Replies
    1. ^ in that article there was some mention of the imagination and coincidence which was interesting.

      I get a lot of the coincidences/synchronicities. According to this article there's some secret science behind it.

      Delete
    2. Having many strong synchronicities was what got me on this path. To me it means your perception is expanded enough to see "glitches" in the matrix, so to speak.

      Delete
  108. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  109. I had to delete my above comment because it was just too weird.
    I'll just recap by saying that I hallucinated while on marijuana, which is legal where I live.
    If the hallucinations continue, and if I am able to access any parallel worlds, I will definitely post my experiences.

    ReplyDelete
  110. Why do you think it was too weird?

    ReplyDelete
  111. I have a habit of deleting posts that seem embarrassing.

    Plus I didn't want to give the impression that I was now hallucinating at will. Someone who is hallucinating at will might have brain damage or cancer (think Leary and McKenna); therefore my now deleted comment was freaking me out. Since then I have not hallucinated while smoking marijuana.

    Just as a side note, I went to my local recreational pot store and asked for a recommendation. The employee told me to try the 'grape ape'. Now, when I hear the phrase 'grape ape' as a strain, my first impulse is to ignore it, because it sounds like a child's candy. But what the hell. I bought some. So that night I tried it and it blew me away. There was something very, very special about it. I can't even describe the effect. It didn't make me hallucinate or anything ... it was just "special".

    Anyway, I'm thinking about posting a comment concerning a new insight I'm working on. I'll wait til I'm stoned before posting it. My creative juices flow better when I'm tripping or stoned. I might as well get it out of my system before I crawl back in my hibernation hole.

    ReplyDelete
  112. I think it's our mind (or the believe in pure reason), which prevents us from instant hallucinating.

    What is the purpose of our mind?
    To perceive reality, or the changes within reality, in a certain manner.
    We perceive reality as something else / independent from the own self.

    But I believe / realized it isn't.

    What do you think?

    ReplyDelete
  113. Here's my take on hallucinations based on what I've experienced. Hallucination is a process of transmogrification or morphing from one form to another.

    I think there is nothing preventing us from instant hallucination and that we are in fact already hallucinating. This is really just another way of saying reality is a dream, a very malleable dream.

    ReplyDelete
  114. Hi together, I want to give you some quotes of Nisargadatta Maharaj:

    "In pure being consciousness arises; in consciousness the world appears and disappears. All there is is me, all there is is mine. Before all beginnings, after all endings – I am. All has its being in me, in the “I am,” which shines in every living being."

    "Awareness is primordial; it is the original state, beginning-less, endless, uncaused, unsupported, without parts, without change. Consciousness is on contact, a reflection against a surface, a state of duality. There can be no consciousness without awareness, but there can be awareness without consciousness, as in deep sleep. Awareness is absolute, consciousness is relative to its content; consciousness is always of something. (…)."

    "To exist means to be something, a thing, a feeling, a thought, an idea. All existence is particular. Only being is universal, in the sense that every being is compatible with every other being. Existences clash, being – never. Existence means becoming, change, birth and death, and birth again, while in being there is silent peace."

    "And what is death? It is the change in the living process of a particular body. Integration ends and disintegration sets in. (…) In death only the body dies. Life does not, consciousness does not, reality does not. And the life is never so alive as after death."

    "(...) To be a living being is not the ultimate state; there is something beyond, much more wonderful, which is neither being nor not-being, neither living nor not-living. It is a state of pure awareness, beyond limitations of space and time. Once the illusion that the mind-body is oneself is abandoned, death loses its terror, it becomes a part of living."

    For more:
    http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Nisargadatta_Maharaj

    ReplyDelete
  115. Haven't had anything new happen lately. Still multiverse type events happening, no waking anybody up anymore... the 'distortion wave' thing isn't happening, I think because I'm used to even higher dosages of SD now. So nothing new to write about.

    I'll keep trying, have no fear.

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  116. Stupid ass bitch. You think you have all the answers but you don't know shit. I know your type. Totally delusional, broke, probably sending someone else the bills, with a very bleak future. Get a real job. Nobody gives a crap about your worthless self indulgent ramblings.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Carrie,

      the problem is not 'there', the problem is within you. Reflect yourself and your behavior.

      Greetings

      Delete
    2. Carrie, I think you're on the wrong blog. If I'm wrong and that was directed at me, you've got some serious problems with anger and hatred of others not like you. I'm betting Christian, right? They're wrapped up in their egotism like cannolis. So that's how I see you, an egotist, unhappy in life, needing to put others down to elevate yourself in your sad and pathetic imagination.
      Have a nice day.

      Delete
  117. I have also something for you:

    some weeks ago I drunk some Ayahuasca with a shaman, who came from Peru.

    I faced pure madness again. I focused all my attention to that 'I' within me and recognized that there is nothing else than that 'I', we all share.

    But the mind, which only knows the 'I am' can't comprehend the truth called 'I'. Maybe there is a association to
    divine madness, crazy wisdom or theia mania.

    The 'I' always act from the outside (something) to the inside (maybe nothingness), but there is force which works against that direction. This force works from the inside ('I') to the outside (something). I would call this force love. Love is all the the time related to something, except that 'I' (of course you can love the something that you are).

    I guess, there are two truths:
    You are something and you are everything (most probably everything is exactly the same as nothing).

    I can't remember the last time I faced the madness, but while I was facing it I felt that I was facing it many (infinity) times before. This 'I' is immortal, one day we all gonna face it again, again and again.

    That's why we love to be.

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  118. Hello St. Brian,

    I found your blog while trying to find some other Salvia forums than the only one I've used so far - the dmt-nexus sub-forum.

    I've read about 6 or 7 of your recent blog posts so far and scanned your Tips & Tricks posts, and read through all of the comments to this particular post. I really like the way you approach working with Salvia, the meditations you use, the alchemy, etc. - and have enjoyed your posts :-)

    Of late I have especially been trying to find information about how shamans or anyone else who has tried might be able to go into the Salvia world and bring back useful 'personal growth' type of information. For example - what is at the root of a particular addiction? What is at the root of my wife's anxiety? Etc. Have you worked at navigating toward that type of information in the past?

    My most common experience currently is one where I back away from the windows panes of my eyes and get the interact with a more parental version of my own awareness. I sense many parts of what I assume is myself or awareness aggregate talking or narrating the experience while tripping. In this space, it seems that I should be able to gather information that I've forgotten or that is down in my sub-conscious this way, but I haven't been very successful yet.

    My smoking frequency has dropped quite a bit over the last few years, but when I do have an opportunity I typically smoke high extracts. At this point I just put in more than I can smoke in one inhale, and take as big of a hit as I can. I have also done some crude quidding but don't have leaves available frequently - I'm assuming navigation would be a bit easier in that space and hope to explore that way at some point in the future.

    Since this is somewhat off-topic and an 'introductory' post, I'll stop here and just ask for a response regarding going in to try to obtain specific personal information. My 'will' has never been strong enough to get the information or connection I'm looking for when in that space.

    :-)
    Chris






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  119. I think the big problem is, if you are in deep enough to be hearing the voices, you're not really able to remember them even if you understand what they're saying when you hear them.

    Sorry I missed your post here, just caught it. Say hi on the newest one and we can hopefully chat about this.

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  120. Hi, I like your web blog and articles, Because whenever i come into your web then i always get the new interesting and important information from your web blog.

    Thank You
    Salvia Divinorum

    ReplyDelete