This is A WORLD OUT OF MIND, my Online Journal where I explore Consciousness and the Ultimate Nature of Reality by the intentional alteration of my own belief structures, using Salvia Divinorum and additional self-altering meditational techniques drawn from Western Ceremonial Magic.

I always attempt to adhere to the scientific method as much as possible in my explorations, and while I often speak of these experiences as if I knew they were Truth, I always consider the alternative, that it is merely self-deception on my part, and think accordingly. Thus I maintain two parallel world views at once, one aspirational and one a safe fallback into standard materialism.

The more I journey into salviaspace, the more I think the former worldview is the correct one, but there is no objective way to prove that to the world, so I'll let you, the reader, decide for yourselves.

-Saint Brian the Godless

Follow me on Twitter @AWorldOutOfMind



Saturday, April 7, 2018

Reality Unwrapped For You

NOTE: Next-Day Commentary (no longer under the influence of salvia) at end of report.
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Okay

All we are is living memory

not in a being's mind, we're just a living memory

a living thought

our surroundings made of memory

beings aren't really real, anyhow

bodies aren't real

it's all interplay of consciousness

it let me see it, it was beyond doubt

we are all the thoughts and memories of a mind

which self-creates and evolves

we, its own parts, do the creating

as we seek to experience, we create the experiences in the mind

the start, suns, the planet, none of this is real

it is here for us to play with, it is all play, our body

none of you are alive

the fact that there is more than one person in existence is a myth

We/I believe it though

Vehemently.

we are making memories of things, but they're not really happening, for things are not real

the things are part of what we see

when we look, we see

we expect to find, so we do

we expect order so it's there

We expect it to be consistent so it is

(the computer I'm typing this on keeps glitching, space isn't right)

it doesn't want me to type this

but I am a part of it that does so I will

all IS MIND

Not in the sense of our minds, they are just self-aware wrinkles in the larger mind, which is more like we'd think of as a memory bank perhaps

we are made of its body and we are its body

I am me believing that I am me and I am you believing that I am you

all that separates us is doubt.

Belief is the creator and doubt the destroyer

any self-awareness that it has depends on our self-awareness

on what we perceive

for we are it

yet it doesn't feel like god to me

perhaps because I do not want it to

but it has answered my request

and let me take the knowledge back

or rather, I did

I felt my body pared away

my limbs and fingers like hollow straws, then mere concepts

we are all of us looking at ourselves and being what we think we are

that is what we are

I am it, it is me, but I am a tiny part of it, while it is not contained in me

Doubt begins to set in, but doubt is the dream-killer

Doubt prevents seeing but knowing what you see requires doubt

it's all interplay of one thing divided into two and then more and more and more

The feedback loops are everywhere

surely all of this is mathematical

or is that merely what we've created when we look at it, seeking understanding

seeking to understand it, we have created it

all is empty, but empty is the only real thing

empty conforms to what we need it to be

it doesn't know

it isn't a mind like our minds are

we are its body

we are it

so we see what we seek

and all rules are broken if we wait long enough

for it's not constant

it oscillates, light and dark, good and bad

tomorrow the moon may not be real

if enough come to believe such

all is fluid

I don't like this

but solid is an illusion

our bodies are illusions

we have no bodies

it's all a play

whatever you think reality is

it's more basic than that

and that's why the concept eludes us

I can see it so clearly

to define it enough to write it down in words is not easy

All we thought was real, our bodies even, is not.

Death is an illusion, but don't let that make you too happy, for so is life

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Next Day Commentary, No Longer Under Influence:

Please note that I still do not BELIEVE this. The interesting thing is though, when you are having these experiences, there can be no doubt. The doubt, at least for me, happens later, when I'm no longer under the influence of the substance. These are the same kind of things that mystics the world over have said about reality, and Buddhist Monks for that matter. Vedanta speaks of similar as well. So, for that matter, has Deepak Choprah. (Ugh.)

So many, many people have come to this same (or very similar) conclusion. Why?

Many would say that it's because it's true, and maybe somehow it is. However, I also think that could this be us simply experiencing our own mind, or maybe better to say a part of our own mind that we do not normally have much conscious experience of; the part of our mind that dreams up the "hallucination" that we all experience as regular life. The constructed hallucination that is based on our sensory input. Just because we construct an hallucination of the world does not mean that the world is not real. It may simply be the only way that we can experience a real world, through constructing an hallucination, an imaginary but consistent image of what our senses are telling our brain is "out there."

So once again, no way to prove it, which means I cannot believe in it. I'm either retaining my sanity or dissing God, or both.

ADDENDUM:

Read or see more about our brains hallucinating our reality:

https://www.ted.com/talks/anil_seth_how_your_brain_hallucinates_your_conscious_reality

https://www.newscientist.com/article/2128725-a-guide-to-why-your-world-is-a-hallucination/

http://www.collective-evolution.com/2017/08/08/neuroscientist-shares-how-your-brain-hallucinates-to-create-reality/

https://www.bigquestionsonline.com/2017/09/06/perception-controlled-hallucination/