This is A WORLD OUT OF MIND, my Online Journal where I explore Consciousness and the Ultimate Nature of Reality by the intentional alteration of my own belief structures, using Salvia Divinorum and additional self-altering meditational techniques drawn from Western Ceremonial Magic.

I always attempt to adhere to the scientific method as much as possible in my explorations, and while I often speak of these experiences as if I knew they were Truth, I always consider the alternative, that it is merely self-deception on my part, and think accordingly. Thus I maintain two parallel world views at once, one aspirational and one a safe fallback into standard materialism.

The more I journey into salviaspace, the more I think the former worldview is the correct one, but there is no objective way to prove that to the world, so I'll let you, the reader, decide for yourselves.

-Saint Brian the Godless

Follow me on Twitter @AWorldOutOfMind


Monday, October 26, 2015

Welcome to Green World


Through the years of my experimentation with salvia divinorum and my own consciousness, I have from time to time found myself in a place that I've only shards of memory of. Recently I once again found myself there but somehow managed to awaken a tiny kernel of my analytical mind and ask myself a few questions about the experience. This is what I recall about it now.

It's a very deep place, seemingly underlying all consciousness, all reality, all dreams, all feelings and sensations. Almost like the static of a television station that is lacking a signal. The baseline of all consciousness. Perhaps like an infinite three-dimensional canvas for all conceivable realities to be painted upon. "The Matrix," in a way.

I call it Green World, for lack of a better name. It happens when I sink deep within myself, past even my own sense of "I AM" down to just an inchoate sense of pure "I."

With eyes closed, an inner light, bluish-green in color, is seen in my visual imagination. It just appears, at first a dim glow, soon intensifying to a bright sparkling static-filled three-dimensional world with nothing in it but the basic structure of reality, thin interlocking green and red threads, tiny filaments, so tiny, but everywhere, making up dim shapes in this glowing world.

The sparkling blue-green glow replaces my body, beginning at the forehead and region of my eyes. My body thus is dissolved into the glow. I have no body at all. Where my body should be, is the green light, sparkling with energy, glowing, potent. I have no eyes to see, but do not need them. I feel the energy, the tingling, an electrical sensation, in lieu of a body. I am one with this world, because this world is made up of pure "I." Pure Identity. I sense that strongly.

There is an associated aural sensation, not a sound but a sense of a sound, hard to describe. It seems like nonsense syllables, but I've heard them before in prior visits here. Something akin to "elektraglyzsendee" or parts of that, but that's not it, there is no real way to describe this. I've "heard" it many times, but it remains indescribable. When I sense the almost-sound of this nonsense phrase, I feel it in my core, it goes right through me, through all of this inner Green World, like a muted kind of teeth-on-tinfoil sensation. It seems to mean something, to be significant somehow, no idea how though.

Oh, another thing. Green World is always terrifying. I never knew why before, but I do now.

There is always terror upon arriving here. Primal Terror and strong deja-vu. In my early days, that was hard to overcome, but I've done this a few times before, even though it is difficult to recall specifics. I have a kind of experience, a 'feel' for it now.

So I feel the terror, tell myself it cannot harm me, embrace it, and it passes me by. Much better.

Why is this Green World terrifying? Good question, yet one I'd never been aware enough to able to ask myself while being here before. This time however I managed to ask myself that question while I was in a position to answer it. This time I was aware enough to ask it, and figure out the answer. I even managed to ask myself in the moment about the clarity of the answer I was receiving, and it was very clear indeed, like a clear memory.

The terror I feel when I come here is because of all the many times I'd come here previously when I'd just died.

Green World is terrifying because normally we only find ourselves here because we've just died.

Or rather, because one of our dreams of being alive has just ended.

Same thing.

It's like it's the Blank Slate we experience while on "layover."

This I clearly sensed as soon as I asked. Death and Life. The dead tarry here, in this deep realm, and the living also, but they are unaware of it, being focused on other things.

We are all here, all the time. Only our dreams differ. If you dream deeply enough to believe you're awake, you will not see or sense Green World, but here you are regardless. You can't leave it, because it *is* you. It is everything, and yet most of all, it is nothing.

In my prior visions, when I've seen green light, waves or currents of it, it came from this Green World, from this underlying strata of reality that intersects everything. This I sensed as well.

Green World is Identity, pure "I." It is not my personal identity, it is the identity that is the real structure of dreams, all dreams, including real-seeming ones like this life. It is pure mind, rendered visible. It is not our dream, for we do not dream it; it dreams us. It is not only the deepest core of my being, but also of yours, and everybody and everything.

Or so it seems to one person making deep-dives into his own mind, at any rate. No proof of course. Just very interesting to me, and who knows, perhaps to you as well.

32 comments:

  1. Hi your post is amazing, i like a point from green terrifying. it's so good.
    Thanks.
    Salvia

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  2. Hahaha "elektraglyzsendee". That's awesome! I've wondered about those "almost-sounds" too!

    Man, this post really hit home for me. You brought up some of those topics I had been wondering about in my past comment:

    "Am I everybody? Am I everything?"

    "Do I also exist in a higher dimensional, higher order, more "abstract" state? Is this existence just beyond the threshold of my awareness? Is this the subconscious mind?"

    I'm really intrigued by this concept you've been describing throughout your posts. All "layers" of existence are fundamentally dreamlike states. That makes a lot of sense, and is something I've suspected too. I'll keep pondering on that!

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  3. Hi Saint Brian,

    I have been reading your blog for a while and found it fascinating. You are certainly a brave and intrepid soul to go that deep with this substance. I have only used Salvia a handful of times ( DMT was something I was a little more focused on ) and only a 5x extract.

    So my experience with this substance is rather limited however I have read many many trip reports and I find the whole thing fascinating to say the least. I feel this substance is somehow pulling back a portion of the curtain to show you the backstage props of reality.

    Now although my personal experience with this substance is very limited I have come across a fascinating book that seems to talk about many of the things salvianauts encounter in there journeys.

    This book is called Zhuan Falun and it is from the Buddha Law School of Cultivation however it is not Buddhism the religion or Daoism the religion, it's something more profound. It seems to me to be more of a spiritual science as many of the terms and concepts in the book are talked about in a scientific down to earth manner instead of flowery mystical prose which I found very refreshing.


    Now here is where it gets interesting, this book talks about the following things:


    Other Dimensions - Levels Of Dimensions spanning into the microcosm and also outwards into the macrocosm

    The Soul - It talks about people having a Master soul and a subordinate soul which is hidden from you but is at a more advanced level then you, it states some people have more then one Subordinate soul and some are of not of the same sex as you i.e males having a female subordinate soul etc.

    Microcosmic worlds - This concept was very far out but it talks about there being worlds within you, countless worlds. Similiar to our world with life , water, animals etc. An analogy is zooming an an atom within one of your cells and realizing at that level of magnification it is just like our solar system. Then zooming into a single particle in that world and finding out it too is a vast world, apparently the level it can go onwards like this is beyond imagination.

    Supernatural abilities - In the book they mention that everyone has them it is just that they have atrophied. It goes into depth about this topic. Some abilites that are mentioned are precognition, retrocognition and remote vision.

    The 3rd Eye - Talks about how at the front part of our pineal gland there is a complete structure of an eye there. Modern science calls it a vestigial eye but in the cultivation world they say this eye just naturally exists like that and it can be activated allowing one to pierce through this dimension and see other dimensions. It talks about how there are many levels to this 3rd eye and it goes into great depth about it.

    Thoughts - This part was amazing. It talks about how a human brain is just a processing plant. How the real you is actually your soul, it's like your whole body and brain is just a vehicle and that the true commands are issued by your master soul, but this master soul is very tiny and it can switch positions while inside you and it can also expand and shrink. It can move from your brain to your heart and to other parts of your body and it is 'he' who calls the shots. Your brain is just the factory which your master soul sends his cosmic commands to which then create the forms of expression and communication we use such as speech, gestures, etc.

    These are just a few things that are covered but there are many many other things which blew my mind when I read it because of how it resonated with some of the saliva experiences I have read, especially the multidimensional nature of reality and how all of them are hidden in our day to day perceptions
    of the world.

    If this sounds interesting you can grab a copy of the book here:

    http://www.falundafa.org/book/eng/pdf/zfl_new.pdf

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  4. It does sound interesting. I'll look into it, put it on my reading list. Thank you.

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  5. Always excited to read a new post by you, this was a highly enjoyable read. It reminds me of an account I read by Robert Monroe where he found himself in a particular place, there was a feeling of dejavu. Then he remembered everything, how the place was in a constant loop and that he had to break out of it. It was the same thing constantly repeating itself wanting to break out into something fresh, something new. I wish I had more time to go through his books and add it here, maybe next time.

    In certain religious scriptures such as the vedas and even something I'm reading lately 'Sri Guru Granth Sahib' there is always some mention of a blissful state, or nirvana where one experiences real peace. If this is that same place then you are experiencing the other spectrum of what is commonly experienced.

    I'm just wondering that perhaps that feeling of terror was present because a part of the analytical mind was present.

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  6. I think that's probably true.

    Thanks.. appreciated!

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  7. One of the most fundamental truths, is, to make yourself as object of your point of view (subject).
    So the most fundamental "objectisation" is indeed "I'am". Maybe you remember former post about the torus.
    There is a realization above the I'm, Maybe you remember the darkest interpretation.

    It's the self itself. (Upanishads).

    What does it mean to be dead? The disappearance of you. But as long as you believe in something higher, like heaven (see, this is how to make yourself object of your mind), you can't actually die.

    What happens with your physical body (what happens at all) is absolutely irrelevant, because it was just object of your imagination.

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  8. The question about the self itself, is indeed absurd.

    The knower (the self itself) of the knowledge cannot be known.
    You are neither knowledge nor knowing. To "think" about knowing yourself, which cannot be known, makes you mad and completely schizophrenic.

    Don't ask about the self itself, don't make the self itself to object of your perception, this is not what mind is made for.
    You could use your mind to "objectitate" love, to make it object of your perception.

    I love you xD

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  9. Actually I get a sense of the 'knower.' It is an infinitely descending perpetual loop of observation. It's like this: I see the world, but I sense that from yet another perspective, watching myself see the world, and so now I'm watching myself watch myself see the world, and so on and so on ad infinitum. I sense it is this loop that gives us a sense of self somehow. There is and always will be yet another layer of observer watching my observations. The Self is more like the Selves.

    But I'm not 100% on all this.

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  10. I guess my comment went in to your spam or something.
    Just wanted to say 'hi'... from pboyfloyd!

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  11. Holy shit, good to hear from you! Been wondering if I'd ever talk to you again. Hi back. Yeah, I'm still around, still playing around with my mind. I owe you a lot, I think, in keeping myself marginally sane over the years, since I always think of how you'd have explained things. Good hearing from you.

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  12. Weird that you picked Twitter and the rest of us picked Facebook though. We have a private page called B.A.S.H. (Blasphemers something something)
    There's me and GearHedEd, not sure if you know Sir Russ and Sergio. Lot of cartoons and such. I used to rant away.
    There are different atheist/skeptic sites to visit and you can find someone to pick on.
    I forget the site and the rest of Helen's name but she jumped right into my trap of saying that all she could do was hand-wave away. What fun! LOL about 50 comments later I said, "See? Nothing but hand-waving!" :)
    Believe me when I tell you that if there were anything to worry about saying what you feel on Facebook, the thought police would have knocked on my door years ago, you know me! :)
    Anyways.. guess I'll look in again in ~ a week, good to see that you're not completely bonkers after all this time. LOL, just kidding my friend.

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  13. LOL... not completely, no. And alas, I'll never be on Facebook. An incident happened with my wife while she was on it, made both of us swear to never go back. Figures.

    I don't argue much with theists anymore anyhow, mostly I just inform them how batshit they are and block them on Twitter. Believe it or not, Eric cured me of that whole thing. He managed to push my DISGUST button with his apologetic lies too often, literally made me ill, and the ones on Twitter are mostly subhuman lizard people anyhow.

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  14. As to why I'm not bonkers, you did help with that, no joke. You impressed upon me to never give myself to it totally, even though I do give it a lot of credence. I remain at 50-50 in this. I still fear beliefs, perhaps even more so now. I have these truly amazing experiences, wish I could communicate them better but no words really do it, and yet I can also see how they can be the product of me and my imagination, and as long as that CAN be the explanation, I cannot call myself a believer in them. I guess that's good, lol.

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  15. Also, re Facebook, at this point if I told the wife I even wanted to go on it she'd probably assume I wanted to cheat on her, and frankly I don't want the friction lol. You know how wives can be, if I recall. Speaking of that, how's things with you and the missuz? Hope all is well on that front. Me and mine are still hanging in there. I better understand you now, back when I used to say "well, leave her" and that sort of thing to you when you had friction. That was terrible advice from a guy that had run away from problems in the past. Sorry.

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  16. Emma still can turn mean as a snake but the dog and I weather through it somehow. Seems she's never happier with me than when she's completely worn out from her sickness and I just pop in with some food and to see she's alright.
    We're kind of on the outs right now 'cos she's expecting me to be a professional groomer/vet for the dog.
    Oh well.
    I liked eric, I learned a lot of apologetic style that hadn't penetrated from Cavilling Ray Two-Truths and them.
    I'm arguing with this simpleton Wick3d3vil3d on youtube. He's the kind of prick that'll actually try to tell you that he didn't say that thing, no, it was you who said that.
    Nuts.
    I'm up really late.. or early now.. Almost time to put some coffee on. I'll look in again... see if you've written a comment or a new article.
    Hey, the only people calling me Pboy now are in Stormfall, Age of War. (I ressurrected that handle for that)

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  17. LOL... you haven't changed, still funny... I'll have to get used to thinking of you as just Ian, I guess.

    I can see how Eric's style was worthy of study, but being an essentially naive personality type I could never get by my disgust at the sheer artistry of lying that he showed me existed, that lying could be and was for many the very air they breathe. Also the fact that he was a bright man, but all perverted to the cause of deception and trying to lie a God into being.

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  18. Yes! Exactly! An artist. Eric, on John Loftus' Debunking Christianity, on John's Outsider Test of Faith.
    Simply imagine that you're neutral and examine your faith as if you're examining a faith which you don't believe in.
    How does that fail according to Eric?
    Well... the Outsider Test of Faith cannot be used against itself, you see!!
    What utter bullshit. But it is the kind of answer that would be enough for any Theists reading Debunking Christianity to feel that they could safely ignore the OTOF now.
    And that's eric's entire apologetic point really, isn't it?
    Muddy the waters as quickly as possible and well, you could be right, he could be right, we'll just all safely believe what we want to. heh.

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  19. So true. Just muddy it up a little bit, it's all it takes. Sickening to me. And now I see that it's everywhere. That sort of lying, the muddying, the misdirection, the utter river of constant bullshit from the right, even some from the left. What a world we live in.

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  20. I understand not wanting to fight the idiocy anymore. I understand they'll probably never change.

    But, a thing happened to one of my wife's students just this week that emphasises the need for rational people to stand up and, at least, be heard.
    My wife runs a program at the the university that trains future science teachers. She also teaches a few classes. One of her students, a high school kid in a duel enrollment program she teaches, is from an African immigrant family. The family had put up their silly Christmas lights, causing some asshole to send them a two page handwritten letter explaining how "Christmas was for American Christians only, and they need to take their black asses back to allah-land"

    In my view, that's a hate crime. I've suggested she stress to the kid and his family to contact law enforcement on a federal level (we live in TN, the locals won't even listen to it, more than likely).



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  21. The wife?
    She's not the same one from way back. She's a biologist and university educator. So, none of that fundy business .

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  22. Hi Mac! Wow... a class reunion! Good to hear from both of you again.

    Your old wife was a fundy? I did not recall that one. I had one of those, too!

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  23. I dunno. At least the family knows what one of her neighbors thinks. Did he(I'm assuming it was a he) sign it?
    If not, they could go door to door asking if it was them or if they'd like to cosign it.
    But my dad was kind of like that, he grumbled about 'the kraut' next door and 'the hindoo' on the other side and so forth but he'd talk away to them to their face.
    What would the plan be for this ignorant ass who doesn't know any better than to hurt peoples' feelings for no reason at all? Prison? A fine?
    That'll teach him to hate who he decides is responsible for his problems EVEN MORE THAN EVER.
    WTF were these people who moved to REDNECKLAND imagining the locals would think of them?
    I live on a Native Indian Reserve, a nice little back road, across from a grade school, nothing would make you suspect that you're deep in Injun country, but I KNOW what they think of me and if they talk about me at all I'm likely referred to as 'that mamachle(white guy) with Emma'.
    Xenophobia runs deep in our species and even just hating-'em-back is a totally decent reaction and xenophobia of it's own at the same time.

    I'm under no illusion that I'm welcome here by all of them, not even all of them who will happily smile and talk about the weather with me.
    No one has sent a letter but if I didn't live with Emma, I'd be getting a notice to get the fuck off their land toute suite.
    So, this guy, so proud of his ignorance, telling the darkies up the street what's on his tiny, bigotted mind, pfft, so what? You know there are people who hate you 'cos they don't like something about you

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  24. Yeah, Brian, the old wife started out fairly secular, but by the time we were splitting, she was pretty fundaMENTAL. Our son tells me she's now dating a racist cop, so she has gone full fundy!
    It's funny, the boy opted to stay with me (still is at 21). She doesn't, at all, like that he only dabbles in religion if he's interested in a girl that is religious. She blames me for it (I did *something* right!).

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  25. I dunno, Ian. I get that people are fucking assholes about "them". But, if we don't, at least, tell them how fucking ridiculous they are, they'll never change.

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  26. Love you two... I've missed you both. Happy New Year! I've been too distracted lately to be here that often, sorry.

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  27. Yea, Happy New Year to you too Brian.

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  28. I'm still very interested in these "many minds/many bodies" experiences of yours Brian. The key thing about them though is how we might be able to actually operate in this possibility space to improve our lives, somehow "guiding" possibility towards better options. Sometimes,though,that would seem to suggest a requirement for possibilities that are much more "distant" than those where your body is in just a slightly different position etc.

    Do you have any thoughts on this? And you know, it matters enough to me that I actually have a request. Next time you find the opportunity, perhaps you could explore that question in the "state" or even ask with great authenticity within the state, and see if anything can answer you.

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  29. You are correct, they'd be "more distant" in probability. I'll do my best to explore that... I'd say though, if I had to guess, much like victorian magic it would be a matter of you convincing yourself that something will definitely happen, remove doubt, and you'll navigate to the correct self. Those versions of you that can't do this or won't, won't.

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