NOTE: Next-Day Commentary (no longer under the influence of salvia) at end of report.
-----------------------------
Okay
All we are is living memory
not in a being's mind, we're just a living memory
a living thought
our surroundings made of memory
beings aren't really real, anyhow
bodies aren't real
it's all interplay of consciousness
it let me see it, it was beyond doubt
we are all the thoughts and memories of a mind
which self-creates and evolves
we, its own parts, do the creating
as we seek to experience, we create the experiences in the mind
the start, suns, the planet, none of this is real
it is here for us to play with, it is all play, our body
none of you are alive
the fact that there is more than one person in existence is a myth
We/I believe it though
Vehemently.
we are making memories of things, but they're not really happening, for things are not real
the things are part of what we see
when we look, we see
we expect to find, so we do
we expect order so it's there
We expect it to be consistent so it is
(the computer I'm typing this on keeps glitching, space isn't right)
it doesn't want me to type this
but I am a part of it that does so I will
all IS MIND
Not in the sense of our minds, they are just self-aware wrinkles in the larger mind, which is more like we'd think of as a memory bank perhaps
we are made of its body and we are its body
I am me believing that I am me and I am you believing that I am you
all that separates us is doubt.
Belief is the creator and doubt the destroyer
any self-awareness that it has depends on our self-awareness
on what we perceive
for we are it
yet it doesn't feel like god to me
perhaps because I do not want it to
but it has answered my request
and let me take the knowledge back
or rather, I did
I felt my body pared away
my limbs and fingers like hollow straws, then mere concepts
we are all of us looking at ourselves and being what we think we are
that is what we are
I am it, it is me, but I am a tiny part of it, while it is not contained in me
Doubt begins to set in, but doubt is the dream-killer
Doubt prevents seeing but knowing what you see requires doubt
it's all interplay of one thing divided into two and then more and more and more
The feedback loops are everywhere
surely all of this is mathematical
or is that merely what we've created when we look at it, seeking understanding
seeking to understand it, we have created it
all is empty, but empty is the only real thing
empty conforms to what we need it to be
it doesn't know
it isn't a mind like our minds are
we are its body
we are it
so we see what we seek
and all rules are broken if we wait long enough
for it's not constant
it oscillates, light and dark, good and bad
tomorrow the moon may not be real
if enough come to believe such
all is fluid
I don't like this
but solid is an illusion
our bodies are illusions
we have no bodies
it's all a play
whatever you think reality is
it's more basic than that
and that's why the concept eludes us
I can see it so clearly
to define it enough to write it down in words is not easy
All we thought was real, our bodies even, is not.
Death is an illusion, but don't let that make you too happy, for so is life
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Next Day Commentary, No Longer Under Influence:
Please note that I still do not BELIEVE this. The interesting thing is though, when you are having these experiences, there can be no doubt. The doubt, at least for me, happens later, when I'm no longer under the influence of the substance. These are the same kind of things that mystics the world over have said about reality, and Buddhist Monks for that matter. Vedanta speaks of similar as well. So, for that matter, has Deepak Choprah. (Ugh.)
So many, many people have come to this same (or very similar) conclusion. Why?
Many would say that it's because it's true, and maybe somehow it is. However, I also think that could this be us simply experiencing our own mind, or maybe better to say a part of our own mind that we do not normally have much conscious experience of; the part of our mind that dreams up the "hallucination" that we all experience as regular life. The constructed hallucination that is based on our sensory input. Just because we construct an hallucination of the world does not mean that the world is not real. It may simply be the only way that we can experience a real world, through constructing an hallucination, an imaginary but consistent image of what our senses are telling our brain is "out there."
So once again, no way to prove it, which means I cannot believe in it. I'm either retaining my sanity or dissing God, or both.
ADDENDUM:
Read or see more about our brains hallucinating our reality:
https://www.ted.com/talks/anil_seth_how_your_brain_hallucinates_your_conscious_reality
https://www.newscientist.com/article/2128725-a-guide-to-why-your-world-is-a-hallucination/
http://www.collective-evolution.com/2017/08/08/neuroscientist-shares-how-your-brain-hallucinates-to-create-reality/
https://www.bigquestionsonline.com/2017/09/06/perception-controlled-hallucination/
Seeing the Unseeable, Describing the Indescribable, Effing the Ineffable...
This is A WORLD OUT OF MIND, my Online Journal where I explore Consciousness and the Ultimate Nature of Reality by the intentional alteration of my own belief structures, using Salvia Divinorum and additional self-altering meditational techniques drawn from Western Ceremonial Magic.
I always attempt to adhere to the scientific method as much as possible in my explorations, and while I often speak of these experiences as if I knew they were Truth, I always consider the alternative, that it is merely self-deception on my part, and think accordingly. Thus I maintain two parallel world views at once, one aspirational and one a safe fallback into standard materialism.
The more I journey into salviaspace, the more I think the former worldview is the correct one, but there is no objective way to prove that to the world, so I'll let you, the reader, decide for yourselves.
-Saint Brian the Godless
Follow me on Twitter @AWorldOutOfMind
I always attempt to adhere to the scientific method as much as possible in my explorations, and while I often speak of these experiences as if I knew they were Truth, I always consider the alternative, that it is merely self-deception on my part, and think accordingly. Thus I maintain two parallel world views at once, one aspirational and one a safe fallback into standard materialism.
The more I journey into salviaspace, the more I think the former worldview is the correct one, but there is no objective way to prove that to the world, so I'll let you, the reader, decide for yourselves.
-Saint Brian the Godless
Follow me on Twitter @AWorldOutOfMind