Doing Some Research

Wednesday, April 23, 2014
Doing Some Research...

I haven't posted anything here for a while, not because I'm not having any interesting salvia experiences but because I've been pursuing an idea, using small doses along with meditation in an attempt to clarify something I've theorized. It's the idea that we are the average of our experiences in all universes, that we actively experience an infinite number of multiple universes at the same time, all of them in which we appear, but each version of ourselves can only remember experiencing that which makes sense in light of the one averaged-out gestalt universe which we are accustomed to believing ourselves a part of. With infinite number of universes happening at this moment in which I exist, what I remember depends on the statistical concentration of universes that are mostly like this one that I (this version of me) seem to 'follow.' My consciousness does experience all the others, but none of them in sufficient statistical prevalence to make a salient impact on the average experience of the many that do not substantially differ one from the other. What I experience as reality is therefore merely a statistical concentration of similar universes that happen to mostly agree one with the other; my consciousness mostly disregards the infinite anomalous ones and notices only those that fit in with what I consider a rational chain of events that follow logically in this universe.

Yes, as you can see, this is very hard to pin down, very difficult to express in words. I'm honestly not quite getting it, not quite communicating it accurately, but I don't think that words exist in any language that will accommodate the true scope of it. Very frustrating, actually.

I'm not nearly convinced yet that this is the case, but I keep getting hints that it may be. Last night I found myself (on salvia) randomly thinking of a chain of events which I had experienced, none of which I can recall now, but a chain of seemingly real events that I eventually realized was totally foreign to my "actual" experiences in this reality. They were making complete sense to me at the time, but what I realized about them at the end there was that they didn't make any sense at all to me in my normal state of mind, because they didn't fit in with my life experiences. Those events that I seemed to be recalling were utterly foreign to my actual experiences, or so they seemed to be. It was as if I were momentarily conscious of an alternate-universe version of myself to whom those events made perfect sense, because that version had had another life into which they fit. As soon as I realized this, it was like the thoughts immediately started to fade out, very rapidly. It was impossible to hold them, and in fact very difficult merely to recall that I'd had such an experience at all. It's like it's forbidden to remember that which does not fit.

I have also noted on several recent occasions that it seemed that my mind was very much like a radio, tuning into one station at a time, and that sometimes on salvia I seem to be able to change the channel, to tune out from this reality and tune into a different one, or even many at once. One time a few days ago the reality that I tuned into seemed to be like some sort of "underchannel" or more accurately perhaps, a "master frequency" that permeated all universes like a series of back doors connected to secret paths in an infinite woodland. Yes, visually it was like being in an infinite forest, with infinite paths going in all possible directions, all very shaded and green and with a general feeling of happiness accompanying the phenomena. It was quite profound.

Somehow I sense that all these apparently disparate things connect. Somehow I will make sense of it. Too often have I sensed directly that what I consider one existence is in reality a superposition of many existences, and I can't seem to let that go.

Thanks for following my quest. Hope to write more soon.