This is A WORLD OUT OF MIND, my Online Journal where I explore Consciousness and the Ultimate Nature of Reality by the intentional alteration of my own belief structures, using Salvia Divinorum and additional self-altering meditational techniques drawn from Western Ceremonial Magic.

I always attempt to adhere to the scientific method as much as possible in my explorations, and while I often speak of these experiences as if I knew they were Truth, I always consider the alternative, that it is merely self-deception on my part, and think accordingly. Thus I maintain two parallel world views at once, one aspirational and one a safe fallback into standard materialism.

The more I journey into salviaspace, the more I think the former worldview is the correct one, but there is no objective way to prove that to the world, so I'll let you, the reader, decide for yourselves.

-Saint Brian the Godless

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Saturday, September 20, 2014

The Universe of Partial Being

Tuesday, December 31, 2013
The Universe of Partial Being

Several nights ago, 100X, meditating while lying on the bed. I was intentionally shielding, or more properly enclosing myself, erecting imaginary barriers so as to not disturb others asleep nearby with my meditation. I'd been working on this because as you know if you've been keeping up with my adventures, it happens a lot.

I had an unusual meditation wherein I was lying there flipping through universes. I wasn’t even that conscious of it at the time, but I was flickering from one plane of existence to another, just for the fun of it. It seemed natural. Like changing channels when you’re bored.

The thing that made me realize that that was what I was doing is when I suddenly found myself in a universe or parallel plane that seemed to be one in which the very force of being was diminished, in which the very force of my own personal being was diminished.

Suddenly there I was, still lying down as I was in all the others (and in my original one) but everything was lessened somehow. The pattern was still there, still accurate, my room was the same, my body was the same, but the “realness” of everything was greatly decreased, including my own.

It was rather disturbing, to be lying there and feeling starved for life force, for lack of a better term. I was craving more existence. It wasn’t just me, either. I felt that everything in that place was less real, and not in the sense of feeling unreal like a dream might feel unreal. No, less real as if “realness” were a measurable quality and I was used to living at 100 percent and suddenly found myself at 50 or 60 in an almost completely indescribable state of partial being.

I was half a ghost.

It was similar to the idea of being short on air, gasping for breath, but my mind was gasping for more reality instead. My body and mind was craving it like oxygen. There just wasn’t enough of it there to satisfy.

It felt like a complete parallel world like all the other ones that I “visit” regularly in my journeys with all the details of this one, but a shadow of itself, a shadow world in which I was in a state of being a shadow of myself, still myself but much noticeably less so.

I got the strong impression that these partial worlds exist, that such shadow universes are out there, and that I had happened upon one.

I also felt that feeling of familiarity; I’ve visited a place like this before. How strange.

Once I’d had enough, I shifted out of it in the same manner that I had shifted into it, and was back in a place that could support my being in the manner to which it was accustomed. Phew!

It was a very strong experience, quite frightening actually, and one that I think has something to teach me.

I only wish I knew what it was. Can it be that such places exist out there somewhere in the infinite web of multiple parallel psychological realities?

Very strange place that I don’t really care to visit again.

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